The Visible Gospel - the ramblings of an adoptive mom

Choosing to be a Hummingbird

2012-02-06T12:34:00.000-08:00

by Lydia Tarr

Recently I heard that a friend of mine was stepping down from the Orphan Ministry at his church. When I heard this I was saddened, but understood his motivation. After spending the last 11 years in orphan ministry and the adoption world I have lived the frustration.

It is easy to get discouraged when those around you do not seem to understand what you feel about the plight of the orphan. It is hard when all of those around you can’t understand your passion for the fatherless. It is difficult to pick yourself up and face the opposition time and time again, only to get knocked back down feeling defeated. I mean we are talking about ORPHANS! How can people NOT want to do something?

I have faced churches who had other focuses, people that were empathetic but not led to help, bureaucracy in foreign countries that get more and more bound by red tape and restrictions, the disappointment of families, the crushed dreams of older children that so desperately wanted a family but it never happened for them…..I could go on and on. I will just summarize that it is easy to become bitter and feel defeated.

Today I saw that a friend of mine on Facebook (Carolyn Twietmeyer from Project Hopeful) had posted a picture of a hummingbird. It has become her personal symbol of “doing what you can” and never giving up. According to Wiki answers, the hummingbird represents love, joy, and beauty. Because the hummingbird can fly backwards, it teaches us to reflect upon our past but to look to the future and move forward. Noble Peace Laureate Wangari Maathai shared a story about a hummingbird in a speech she gave, and how this tiny bird when faced with a forest fire that would likely kill all the animals, it decided to take action and mouthful by mouthful carried water from a nearby stream to douse the fire. When asked why, the hummingbird replied, “I am doing what I can.”

The story reminded me that despite the frustration that orphan care and the adoption journey may bring, the pain, rejection and bureaucracy that I can choose to be a hummingbird - I will do what I can, and that even though it may seem small, if I can encourage enough people to also do what they can – we just might accomplish something big for the sake of waiting children in Bulgaria, Congo, Ukraine, Honduras, Samoa, Nicaragua and all around the world.

For the full story of the hummingbird by: Wangari Maathai http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eT98uQ74X1c&feature=related

Love this quote by Derek Loux

2010-12-29T07:49:00.001-08:00

“My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him. And when He redeems us, we can’t even really appreciate or comprehend it, just like Dimitri will never comprehend or fully appreciate what is about to happen to him … but … he will live in the fruit of it. As his Daddy, I will never expect him to understand all of this or even to thank me. I just want to watch him live in the benefits of my love and experience the joys of being an heir in my family. This is how our heavenly “Papa” feels towards us. Today, settle your busy heart down and rest in the benefits of redemption. Enjoy the fruits of His goodness, and stop trying to “pay Him back”. You’ll never get close you goofy little kid.” - Derek Loux

Our Family Photo!

2010-11-12T09:37:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share our family photo.....it is now complete. Thank you Janene at http://www.aboutfacephotographyofgreenwood.com/ !!!

Matthew West & Story Behind "One Less"

2010-09-29T07:39:00.000-07:00

Too beautiful!!!!!!!! Enjoy!

Keep Changing The World (With Lyrics) - MIKESCHAIR Feat. Lecrae

2010-09-25T14:43:00.000-07:00

Beautiful - I dedicate this song to all those out there who are fighting to change the world for the children who have no voice!!!!!!!!

Meant to Be - Steven Curtis Chapman

2010-09-02T14:44:00.000-07:00

Absolutely beautiful!!!!!! This is the message I want children all over the world to know...God had a purpose for their life...they were not a mistake. They are all beautifully and wonderfully made.....

I want to dedicate this song to all of my children and to all the children who do not have someone to tell them how special they are.

What It Means To Have A Family by Katelyn (adopted from Ukraine)

2010-09-01T17:21:00.000-07:00

What it means to have a family is that you always have somebody by your side when you’re falling down. It means that you are loved every day no matter what. Having a family gives you a chance where you can be taken care of and fed. You need to remember to appreciate what they do for you. You should be happy if you have a family because a lot of kids in the world don’t have one.

You should be grateful for what you have even if sometimes it’s not the best thing you can think of. I know its great to have a family because before I didn’t and I kind of felt abandoned, but here today I am as happy as can be. I love my family because they are always by my side. My family never lets me down and that’s why I am proud of them. It makes me sad when I see kids alone and know they do not feel loved.

If you have a family, be proud of where you are and who you’re with because they will keep u safe and loved!!!

To my mom and dad, thank you for giving me a beautiful home and a beautiful family. I know sometimes I can be out of control and selfish but most of the time, I remember that you taught me it is wrong and I promise for the rest of my life I will try to be better.

What It Means To Have A Family by Payton (adopted from Ukraine)

2010-09-01T17:19:00.000-07:00

Some people don’t have families, their other moms did not want them and that is very sad. I know that because I didn’t always have a cozy home, a bed to sleep in, wonderful food and a family that loves me. It really means a lot that I have a family.

A family makes you feel happy and makes you feel like you’re safe. You will maybe have wonderful brothers and sisters. A family is awesome, they give you love and that is important. Some people don’t have families and that makes me want to cry. Everyone should have a family.

When you have a family, you may get nice clothes and nice bed sheets. Who cares if you have a poor family? Nobody is perfect. We make wrong decisions. You guys should adopt. Kids are so sweet! And yes they make wrong decisions, too. All that matters is that they love you. Every should have a family to love and care for them.

God created us so we can have a family and love. I love kids and they want a family, so someday I am going to adopt a kid. Some of them are praying so hard to God to get a family and that is terrible that they don’t have one. Just let God into your heart. I am praying that every kid gets a family and God is praying, too. When I get older I’m going to adopt 8 kids because I love kids and God let me into his heart.

What A Family Means by Graceson (sister to 4 adopted siblings from Ukraine)

2010-09-01T17:16:00.000-07:00

What it means to have a family is to have people that love you and surround you with love, care, and support. They comfort you when you need it. A mom is someone that kisses your booboos, a dad plays outside with you, brothers and sisters tease you, those are the people are most important in every one’s life.

A family and God is everything we need. Having a family is to have a full life. If we didn’t have a family we would feel lost and alone. You might say you have friends and do not need a family but friendships don’t always last. A family lasts a lifetime.

We may think people in our family aren’t that important and sometimes forget how lucky we are to have them in our life. There are kids in the orphanage that would trade you places any day. They are alone because their family made different choices or had problems that could not be fixed. If you have the time to go to an orphanage and spend time with those kids, it would mean the world to them. Maybe you could give them a family if you felt that is what God wanted you to do.

A family is to have the inside of you bursting with love. So every time you fight with a family member, think of how lucky you are to have them. Because all over the world there are kids wishing they were you.

Having a family by Lauren (adopted from Ukraine)

2010-09-01T17:12:00.000-07:00

God created my family and I am so glad that I have them. My dad, my mom, my brothers and my sisters all care for each other, because that is what a family does for each other. I am proud of my family because they help me through everything - friends, homework, and a lot of other things. A family is a special blessing, it's being loved.

I am proud of my mom because she works to find children families. That is exactly what she did for me, my 2 sisters, and my brother! My mom is always happy when somebody gets adopted. Sometimes my mom has us pray for a family she knows or the children she is trying to help. I wish that all children had families that love them.

Having a family is being together when it matters. My family is crazy, and we argue, but we still love each other. Most families DO NOT ALWAYS GET ALONG GREAT!!!!!! They fuss, they whine, they hit, they smack, they kick, ... (Totally not perfect) but they are there for each other. Parents teach you what is important, everything from manners, God, and how to behave.

Families are great, and what I really like about families are the members of the family. The whole gang is what matters. They love you no matter what you do (even if you even broke something). My family is the best and I love them very much.

The Most Vulnerable Orphans

2010-08-30T10:00:00.000-07:00

I love my job... and I especially love working with the children! It is such an incredible feeling to see children coming home to loving families. Even more wonderful is when I have the opportunity to witness the changes in the lives of the children - how they blossom with the love, security and opportunities a family provides.

Despite the positives my job provides, one of the most difficult challenges is knowing there are the children that I may not be able to help find families. The ones that are overlooked because they are not perfect. They are the most vulnerable; the older child, the ones with disabilities, the large sibling group... How do I help them?

I know of a beautiful 18 month old girl; a healthy, smart and handsome six year old boy needing an operation and prosthetics; a sibling group of three boys ages 5-10; a sibling group of four; a six year old girl with developmental delays… all of them in such need for a family. How can we help them?

At MLJ ADOPTIONS, INC. we are developing a special needs program because it is our heart to make families aware of these precious children and do all we can to connect them to families. If you are open to a child who may need extra love and care, or if one of the children mentioned above pulls at your heart, please email me. Who knows what may happen?

SAY YES

2010-08-23T12:23:00.000-07:00

Thousand Lives by Doug Johnson

2010-08-23T06:08:00.000-07:00

Beautiful song about reaching 1000 lives for Christ. My goal is to reach 1000 orphans and help them to find loving Christian families. Enjoy!!

Abba Changes Everything | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

2010-07-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

Abba Changes Everything Christianity Today A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction

International Adoption Updates

2010-06-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

( http://hopefororphans.com/Display.asp?Page=June2010#June10Article5 )

In light of the ever-changing world of international adoption, we want to highlight some of the recent changes and issues related to adoption in six countries in particular: Ethiopia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Nepal, Russia and Swaziland.

Ethiopia
The U.S. State Department issued a Notice on April 13, 2010, that The Federal First Instance Court of Ethiopia has issued an announcement that as of May 9, 2010, adoptive parents must now be present at the federal court hearing in order for the adoption to be approved. That means two trips must now be made instead of just one as before. This new ruling affects all pending and new adoption cases. For the complete statement, please click here.

Kazakhstan
The U.S. State Department issued an Alert on May 21, 2010 stating that on May 17th, the Kazakhstan Government has instructed its Embassy and Consulate General not to accept any new intercountry adoption dossiers until Kazakhstan becomes compliant with the Hague Adoption Convention, which it hopes to be by September 2010. For more information, please click here.

Kyrgyzstan
The U.S. State Department issued an Alert on April 28, 2010 discussing the ongoing investigations of corruption and fraud which caused the Kyrgyz government to stop processing all inter-country adoptions in October 2008, including at least 65 adoptions by American families that were already in process when the halt was announced. Recently, the Kyrgyz Parliament passed a bill that, if signed by the president, will affect international adoptions, though its actual impact is unclear. For more information, please click here.

Nepal
The U.S. State Department issued an Alert on May 26, 2010, strongly discouraging prospective adoptive parents from pursuing adoption of Nepalese children due to what it calls “grave concerns” about the adoption system in Nepal. It even goes so far as to encourage families that are already in the process (but who have not yet been matched with a child) to consider pursuing adoption from a different country instead. For more information, please click here.

Russia
The U.S. State Department issued a notice on June 18, 2010, announcing that an American interagency team had been involved in meetings in Washington, DC in mid-June for a third round of meetings an adoption agreement. The discussions were reported to be productive and positive, with the hopes that inter-country adoptions between Russia and the United States will continue in the future with proper safeguards in place. For more information, please click here.

Swaziland
The U.S. State Department issued an Alert on March 1, 2010 stating that the government of Swaziland had informed the U.S. embassy in February that it is reviewing its adoption procedures and will cease processing inter-country adoptions until the review is completed. Cases that were already with the High Court at that time will be allowed to continue. For more information, please click here.

Please check out the countries we currently have programs in (www.mljadoptions.com )
Bulgaria, Congo, Haiti, Honduras, Nicaragua, Ukraine - all are currently open!

Guest Bogger Paul Pennington

2010-06-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

NOTE FROM PAUL PENNINGTON

Executive Director, Hope for Orphans

Behind A Frowning Providence

Some of the very best things in my life have happened as a result of some of the hardest things in my life. There was a day that Robin and I learned that we had lost a baby and the ability to ever have a biological child short of in-vitro fertilization. It was a hard day. It was hard to pray or understand. But little did we know that as this was happening a little girl was soon to be born. This little girl was our daughter Kit whom God brought to us just 6 months later. Not only was she a gift we could not have imagined, but also through her, the Lord led us to more of our children, some born on the other side of the world, and ultimately to this ministry.
In his new book about Ruth, A Sweet and Bitter Providence, Pastor John Piper shares a quote from William Cowper, an 18th century poet and hymn writer:
“Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust him for his grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.”

Joseph experienced this frowning providence when his brothers sold him into slavery. But as you know, God knew this very act would bring about the rescue of those same brothers from famine and His grace would be demonstrated through the centuries like a chain in His word to us in the 21st century.

Every adoption begins in hurt of some kind. Sometimes being the parent of a child through adoption involves a lot of hurt. We all come from a hard place because of the first Adam’s fateful choice in the garden. Thankfully, the second Adam also made a choice in a garden, a choice not to save Himself, a choice made so that we might receive adoption as sons of God through Him.

As we consider with eyes wide open the road of adoption and loving the fatherless, let us remember why Ruth the Moabitess was able to say to Naomi in Ruth 1:16-17 that she would follow her from all that was familiar and safe…how she committed herself to this widow to the point of saying that Naomi’s God would be her God and Naomi’s people her people.

Ruth was grafted into this family and met her kinsman redeemer because as Piper says, “Here we have a picture of…faith in God that sees beyond present bitter setbacks. Freedom from the securities and comforts of the world. Courage to venture into the unknown and the strange. Radical commitment in the relationships appointed by God”. In this case, a relationship that led to line of David and The Messiah.
May those called to adopt, or to love a foster child, or to serve churches overseas in loving orphans be likewise radically committed to the relationships appointed by God for them. May we see the world as the work of God, and that we are privileged and blessed to be invited to join Him in His work. May we see God who sometimes uses frowning providence in bringing about His will, as the very One in whom we will very soon see His smiling face.

Blessings,

Paul

Complete Hope for Orphans newsletter: http://hopefororphans.com/Display.asp?Page=June2010#June10Article5

Back from Haiti...from devastion to hope.

2010-05-17T15:45:00.000-07:00

I am not even sure where to begin...how do you sum up what you have seen in a way that will truly convey what it was like to be in Haiti?

http://www.facebook.com/lydia.taylor.tarr?ref=profile#!/album.php?aid=49099&id=1656337289 I hope this link works for you - these are some of the photos from Haiti.

I guess I can begin with how I felt about going to Haiti...I was afraid to go to such a hard place and to see such devastation. I knew it wouldn't be easy or comfortable. I think the thing that shocked me most was how anesthetized I was to seeing what I saw. I expected it to be harder than it was and me more emotional. I think in today's society, that we have seen so many images on television that we really don't feel the impact of the harsh reality. It became more personal when I heard the stories from some of the people we met and how the earthquake changed their lives.

Upon leaving the airport, I saw rubble everywhere, buildings that were pancaked, leaning over the street ready to collapse, tents everywhere - even on medians in the street. I saw people that had to shower and bathe out in public places because that is where they found water. It is almost hard to describe the conditions. Where I saw the ruins, it was contrasted with such breath-taking beauty. The mountains, the valleys, the coast...so amazing....

What I also saw in this country that faced this nightmare, was such hope. I saw a beautiful people - who despite what they were going through and the circumstances they were living in taking pride in their appearance. Looking fresh and clean in spite of how they were being forced to live, taking pride in themselves.

Instead of being angry at God or questioning what was happening in their lives - I met people that had such tremendous faith. One woman I met, Marie had such a glow on her face when she talked about what happened during the earthquake and how God had held her in His hands and how she could trust Him to take care of her no matter what. A pastor, Jean Claude shared how they had cleared the rubbage from his church and were now holding church on the remaining floor and how they fed over 500 children there each week. We met girls at the orphanage who greeted us with kisses, sang beautiful songs, played games with us and had the most beautiful smiles. So many people, who had been through the worst, making the best of it and doing so with such amazing grace!

It is easy to have faith when things are going your way, when you are comfortable...but how easy is it to maintain that faith when everything around you falls away? I would hope that in the face of such pain and tragedy, that I could maintain my faith and my trust the way they have. Tanya from House of Blessings orphanage thanked us for showing them our love by coming - if only for a few days. It was humbling for someone to reference us as God's hands and feet.

I hope in the dark times I may face, that I will react with as much grace. I bought a small bracelet that one of the ladies at the orphanage was selling and put it on as a daily reminder to pray for the people and orphans of Haiti. I pray that God will continue to give them strength to face each day, the comfort that only His arms can give as they continue to rebuild their lives. I pray that God will use me to help the orphans of Haiti to find loving Christian families who will show them what it is like to be loved....

Leeland - Follow You with special guest Brandon Heath (official video)

2010-05-17T05:37:00.000-07:00

This is my new favorite song! It reminds me of my trip to Haiti last week! I hope you enjoy it! I will be posting about Haiti soon and try to do a slide show of photos!

Great Bible Study on Connecting with your child.

2010-05-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

http://empoweredtoconnect.org/created-to-connect-study-guide/

I have had a couple of opportunities to hear Dr. Purvis speak and have each time come away with something. I like that her encouragement is scripturally based. I hope you enjoy!

Blessings,
Lydia

Kay Warren speaks on caring for orphans.....

2010-04-24T14:55:00.000-07:00

Don't call yourself a believer if you're not caring for orphans, said Kay Warren. "If we are doing little to nothing, how dare we, how dare we claim to be followers of Jesus Christ," she said Friday. "Followers of Jesus Christ care about widows and orphans and they understand that it is a litmus test. "It is not an option."

The weighty words were delivered to thousands of church and ministry leaders on the final day of Catalyst West, a three-day conference designed to challenge leaders to be change agents in the culture. Stripping the leaders gathered in Orange County, Calif., of their excuses, Warren said caring for orphans is not just for infertile couples or middle-aged folks who have a little discretionary money and time.

"It has nothing to do with personality, it has nothing to do with spiritual gifts, it has nothing to do with economic status, it has nothing to do with your season in life," she stressed. "It has to do with accepting the responsibility that God will one day hold us accountable." And it's not just a matter of personal responsibility either, she indicated. There is a theological reason all Christians are to do something to help vulnerable children.

Warren highlighted: "What our Heavenly Father does for us spiritually, He expects us to do physically." What God did was not only save sinners but also bring them into His family.

"You and I were all spiritual orphans," she said. "We're not just cleared of the guilt of our sin. We belong in God's family. He has taken us and made us part of Himself. "Now He shares with me everything that He has. Everything that belonged to Jesus belongs to us."

While Christians have a spiritual home, there are 143 million children around the world who don't even have a physical home. Yet many believers likely are unable to name the names of five orphans, Warren noted. "This is sinful," she asserted. "This is shameful. This is reprehensible."

Warren drilled into the thousands of Christians gathered that caring for orphans is not just one of many things they should be doing. "When you understand the theology of it, you will not be able to push it away; you will not be able to put it on the backburner," she said. "You need to understand that adoption represents the heart of what Jesus Christ has done for ... us."

The orphan advocate clarified that the Bible isn't necessarily calling every person to adopt a child. She and her husband, renowned pastor Rick Warren, have not adopted, she noted. But, she added, the Bible does say Christians have a personal responsibility to do something, whether it's contributing to the fund of a family trying to adopt, providing house cleaning for a family that adopted, or getting involved with church sponsorship of children.

At the same time, it's not enough to simply send some money or place children in orphanages. "God is a relational God," she said. "And orphanage is an institutional solution." "What's the best?" she posed. "For children to be in homes with their own families."

Warren challenged every Christian family to ask themselves: "God, do you want our family to adopt?" In the United States, if one family out of every four churches adopted a child, there would be no orphans in the country, she highlighted. "You guys, that's doable."

So Excited to Announce our Bulgarian Adoption Program!

2010-04-23T05:45:00.000-07:00

I am so thrilled to announce the start of our Bulgarian adoption program! I just returned from Bulgaria and I am so excited about the possibilities that I see for families! I found Bulgaria to be a beautiful country and the Bulgarian people were so friendly and tried to use English when they could. I found our staff there to be very professional, friendly, experienced, connected and knowledgeable!

Michele Jackson, the executive director of MLJ Adoptions, Inc. and I were able to visit 3 orphanages during our visit. The orphanages were well staffed and the children well cared for! We saw some incredibly beautiful kids - all anxious for families! There was a baby as young as 10 days old at one orphanage and we met a fun group of 3-6yo children!

The changes in the family code will have a great impact in the future of adoption from Bulgaria. In September, they are expecting things to really take off! An influx of new referrals will make Bulgaria a great option for many families! They are open to single men and women as well as married couples. There is a restriction is that a parent has to be 15 years older than the child they are adopting but otherwise it is a fairly flexible program.

I can not wait to be a part of this wonderful program and witness the plan that God has for these beautiful children! Soon we will be leaving for Haiti - and explore the possibilities there! God is giving me children all over the world now! How awesome it is to be a part of His plan for the orphans of the world!

Response to Lady in TN returning adopted Russian boy to Russia

2010-04-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

I wish I had more time to put in to this - but I want to quickly address the issue that has hit the headlines about the woman in Tennessee who had adopted a Russian boy, and then sent him back to Russia alone on an airplane with just a note.

It first angers me - that this woman did not understand that adoption should be viewed as permanent, just like giving birth to a child. However, as an adoptive mother I do understand the frustration that one can experience in the adjustment of an adopted child. There have been times I have questioned what I have done by adopting my 4 children - it isn't easy and requires alot of sacrifice. Some days are good and some aren't, but you have to learn to get through it and if you can't do it by yourself then it is the responsibility of the parent to seek professional help and other resources.

Next, it saddens me that Ms. Hansen was unaware of the resources she had available.... If only she had known that she could have contacted an adoption agency (she should have been able to contact the agency she used to adopt the boy) and let them know of the urgent situation and sought help, an international incident could have been avoided. A professional adoption agency, like MLJ Adoptions, Inc. which is state licensed and Hague Approved, would have tried to arrange respite care for the boy to give the mother a needed break, discussed the help that was available, and tried to offer workable solutions. If there were no resolutions that were agreeable, a disruption of adoption could have been done, and a family could have been found to adopt the boy - a win-win situation. I feel sorry for Ms. Hansen who probably entered the adoption process with stars in her eyes and a "happily ever after" in mind.

Lastly, my heart aches for a little boy that once again has been abandoned, and found not worthy. Too young to understand that it is not his fault, he will once again try to figure out his place in this life and how to handle the rejection. My prayer for him is that someone will find him worthy of investing their time and love. Unfortunately the past can not be undone and there are hundreds of thousands of orphans in Russia and families that are waiting that will likely pay the price. In the heat of the moment, Ms. Hansen's judgement may have sentenced all of them to a life without the love of a family.

My advice to pre-adoptive families is to seek education. As a Hague approved agency, MLJ Adoptions requires for our clients to have at least 10 hours of adoption education. Seemingly an inconvenience to many, but if you are investing the kind of money that an adoption requires - common sense would dictate that a family should at least be made aware of what they are getting in to and want to be prepared. Also, follow up with a newly adoptive family is important, helping them to get off on the right start, making sure they are finding ways to relieve stress and cope and connecting them to others that are going through or have gone through the same situation all give families a better chance of a successful adoption. Families need to do their homework before hand to ensure success on the other side of the adoption journey and agencies need to be there to support them.

Great messages on adoption! Listen and enjoy!

2010-03-15T15:30:00.000-07:00

If you have been praying/thinking about adoption - take the time to listen to some of the messages from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Dr. Russel Moore was the main speaker and wrote the book, ADOPTED FOR LIFE, which is a wonderful book!

http://www.sbts.edu/resources/ (be sure to check out pages 2 and 3 also) I hear that David Platt's General Session 3 was amazing!

Blessings,
Lydia

Dear Orphan by Guest blogger

2010-03-02T11:28:00.000-08:00

Found this on a blog of a friend - who it looks like may have borrowed it from someone else. It is a sad statement of how self-centered we live our lives. It sounds almost funny - but I hear these excuses almost daily from people I talk to. It is so sad that there are only a few willing to sacrifice the cost to make a difference in the life of a child - and give them not only a chance at a future, but eternity! Feel free to pass it on!
Blessings,
Lydia

Wednesday, February 24, 2010 http://k6comehome.blogspot.com/

Dear Orphan~

I saw your photo today. You are so adorable!

You're eyes are so deep and full of hope.

I love your little smile,

I know it must be hard some days to find

the strength to smile.

I have heard how little food you have,

but you are still willing to share

with your friends.

What a sweet little person you are!

But, I am writing this letter to tell you that I will

not be able to help you.

You see, my family is happy with the life we

are living.

I know that we could get bunk beds and you could

share a room with one of our bio kids,

but really,

that is no life for either of you.

We have so much going on around here and

life would just be too chaotic.

Our neighbors just got a new TV and game system,

we really think we need to have one too.

I have a 'ladies night out' next week and

I have nothing to wear.

I really need to purchase a new outfit.

I guess I could sponsor you...

but,

it will have to wait til next month,

I really need that new outfit

and my kids are dying for some fast food tonight.

Good luck to you!

(Thank you, Jodi, for letting me copy this post)

Guest Blogger - Yura Became a Son by Nate McNeil

2010-02-24T03:34:00.000-08:00

This is a great post that I came across - I hope you enjoy it!
Blessings,
Lydia

http://mcneilladoption.wordpress.com/2010/02/21/the-new-normal/

We have watched Yura over the last days change from an orphan into a son.
There were six or eight people in the room when they brought Yura in for the first time into the orphanage director’s office where we were sitting. The director, a social worker, us, our facilitator, and a couple of others whose function I don’t know. Yura looked down most of the time. He didn’t smile. He didn’t speak except when asked questions. He let us hug him, but did not hug back. We talked to him for a few minutes through our translator about how we wanted him to be our son. It was like he knew that the verdict was in, but the sentence was not yet pronounced. Our facilitator asked him whether he wanted to be adopted. He said ‘yes’ but was not very convincing. We walked around with him for a little while afterwards through the orphanage. He didn’t know what to think. We didn’t know what to think. We could speak only in two-word phrases, but I think he knew that we loved him and that we wanted him as our son. And wanted him to love us back in time.

It was awkward and joyful all in the same moment.

On the way back from Balta (yes, the same trip where we ran out of gas), I sat next to Yura in the back seat with Caleb’s car seat. About an hour into the trip, he leaned his head on my shoulder. I put my arm around him and he relaxed. No one knows who Yura’s father was and I didn’t see any men at the orphanage, but was thankful for this small token of trust.

The next night, after a long day of little adventures, I asked Yura if he would like to wrestle. His face lit up like a sunrise. We wrestled and laughed and laughed and wrestled for half an hour with Owen joining in. It was like Yura had been waiting his whole life for someone he could jump on who would catch him.

Today, after another wrestling match, I was sitting with Yura and Owen in an arm chair watching a cartoon (I had never seen “The Rats of Nim” in Russian). I told Yura I loved him in Russian (Ya Tibya LooBloo) and Yura turned to me with a little smile and said for the first time, “Ya Papa LooBloo”.

Adopting Yura has been the most extraordinary adventure, and yet at times it seems strangely ordinary. Yura is our son. He sometimes disobeys, but we love him. He gets frustrated when Owen takes away his cars, but helps him up when he falls down. He can be silly and a little wild one minute and ready for bed the next. It is the craziest thing in the world that we are over here adding an eleven-year-old to our family, but it’s ordinary and normal and everyday. Why wouldn’t we give a home to child who doesn’t have one? What sense would that make? It wouldn’t be normal. I’m sure that the other foot has yet to drop. There is more to know about Yura. More to endure and much more joy to be gained.

I believe in the end that our story has two parts: Our adventure, and Yura’s life. Without this trip, our lives would have bumped right along as normal, but his would have been in peril.

And try as I might, I can’t rationalize how “normal” for us could have included leaving Yura in danger. Lord forgive me for the hundreds of other ways I have given up walking by faith for the sake of normal.

Guest Blogger Missy - I don't want my kids to be happy....

2010-02-16T10:29:00.000-08:00

I loved this when I read it and wanted to share it with you! As an adoptive parent I too have had well-meaning people with all their wisdom asking me if I knew what I was doing to my children (biological of course!). I feel the same way as Missy does in that I do not owe my kids a college education - although I am praying that God will provide for them and He may use us to do that. What I do owe them is to show to the world that orphans are on God's heart and they matter. That life is not about accumulating but giving.
I hope that someone else is touched by this letter and it gives them the courage to throw away their children's happiness! :)
Blessings,
Lydia

http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2005/11/sleepy-me.html

Dear Shepherd, Sissy, Maggie and Ikey,

Recently we were told by people whom we love and respect why they oppose our plans to adopt. One of the reasons given was that we would not be able to pay for your college education.

It's true.

You all have college funds - college funds which recently took a terrible hit - but "they" say that by the time you're 18, college will cost anywhere between $200,000 to half a million dollars each. You might as well know now, we won't be covering that. I'm telling you now, babies.
The people said that the day would come when you would look at us with resentment because you had to apply for school loans while many of your friends got a free ride from their parents.
Maybe you will. Maybe you'll resent us. I really hope not. But maybe I should tell y'all now why your dad and I have decided to do what we are doing.

I know you're going to think I am going off topic (I do that a lot) but several years I saw a story on a TV show about how the latest trend was for parents to give their daughters boob jobs for high school graduation (I don't know what they gave their sons.) When interviewing one of the moms, she said, "I just want my daughter to be happy." And as I tossed a throw pillow at the television, this really huge thought occurred to me: I don't want my children to be happy.
My goal as your mom is not your happiness, sugars. In fact, I spend at least half my day making you unhappy. If I had a nickle for every tear that falls in this home on a daily basis, we wouldn't need to worry about college tuition at all.

Happiness is fleeting, sweet babies. That means it doesn't last. It's a quick feeling that comes from a funny movie or a heart shaped lollipop or a really good birthday present. It's great. I love to be happy. But happiness is a reaction that is based on our surroundings. And our surroundings are so very rarely under our control. Even when - especially when - we think they are. So no, I absolutely don't want you to spend your life chasing something that has so little to do with your own abilities. You'll just be constantly frustrated.

There are two things I desire for you, precious loves. There are two things that I spend most of my time as a mother trying cultivate in you. Happiness ain't one of them. (This means, sorry, no boob jobs for you.)

The first is, I want you to be content. Being content is so much different from being happy. Being content is not based on your surroundings. Being content comes from within. Contentment is a spirit of gratitude. It's the choice you make to either be thankful for the things you do have, or to whine about the things you don't have.

As you know, because I've told you lots of times, Paul talked about being content. Paul said that he had "learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." And Paul was in some rotten situations, kiddos, really rotten.

How could Paul be content whether he was in prison or if his life was literally a shipwreck? Because Paul was constantly seeking to be in the will of God instead of his own, was constantly sacrificing his own comfort for the sake of the gospel, and was constantly being confirmed, strengthened, and blessed by God because of his obedience. He was given a supernatural power - that means something kind of like magic, God magic - to do things that most other humans could not do. And guess what? The bible tells us (in Ephesians 1) that God will give you the exact same power! If you want it!

Which leads me to my second desire for y'all.

I don't want you to be happy. I want you to be holy. That means, I want you to seek that God-power to make you content. I want you to want the Kingdom of God more than your own kingdom. And that's hard, babies, that is so hard. And that usually means passing up a lot of what the world considers happiness. But it means that you will achieve blessings directly from God that most of the world never dreams of because they are too occupied with the achieving the perfect birthday present!

This means you may be poor, 'in want' as Paul said, and that's okay. It will never, ever be okay with the world for you to be poor. So you'll be up against the world. But not your dad and me, loves, because it was never our goal for you to be wealthy - at least not in the way that the world considers wealthy.

Darlings, we love you so much. You will never even grasp how much we love you until you have children of your own, and then you'll get it, and then you'll apologize for the ways you treated us ;) But our goal is not to please you. Our goal is to please our Heavenly Father. And nowhere in the bible does the Lord command that we save our money to send our kids to college.

But the Lord does command us to care for the orphan around fifty times. He does tell us to care for the poor around 300 times. He does tell us that when we care for the neediest, we are caring for Jesus Himself. And in chapter six of the book of Matthew, He tells us to seek His kingdom first, and let Him worry about the rest, like college tuition. Because it's all His anyway.

They said that one day y'all would resent us for using 'your' college money to go and get your sister out of an orphanage in Ethiopia and bring her home to you.

But I know my babies. Even at your tender ages, I know your hearts, and I have already seen you weep for the least of these. I know the prayers I offer up to God that He and not the world would shape the desires of your hearts. I am trusting Him to answer those prayers.

So, sugarbears - I just don't believe those people.

Love,
Mommy

Do you think it is a mandate for Christians Adopt? Guest blogger - Heidi Weimer

2010-02-11T08:22:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

A question I get asked a whole heck of a lot...
QUESTION: Do you think it's a mandate for all Christians to adopt?
[I just got asked this question again on Facebook today. Here's my response:]

OOOOH, a question i get asked quite a bit. :) And one that people try to stump me on!
Here's what I say:

Preface: I can't say what every person should or should not do nor will I judge a person who doesn't supposedly "get it." That's wrong...

1) Scripture says that if we see someone in need and we have something that would fill their need yet DO NOT fill it, we do not have the love of God in us. [We have a family; orphans don't; we therefore should share with the orphan what we have that they do not.]

2) Scripture says that we must do to others what we would want done to us (or our own biological kids, for that matter). If we were orphaned, we would want to be adopted. Period. Not just visited or taken care of in a group home. Adopted into a family. And we would want the same for our biological kids.

3) Jesus didn't just come to visit us or care for us in our orphaned state; He came to lay down His life to adopt us. James 1:27 uses the phrase "visit orphans." The word "visit" there is the same word used for when Jesus came to "visit" us. He didn't leave us as orphans; He adopted us. He didn't see us in our orphaned state of despair and say, "Oh, poor things...I wish someone would do something about that." No, He adopted us. Changed our futures; our destinies; our families. We are to follow Him and do as He did.

4) How can we not? How can we look at the children in the world without families and say, 'No, not worth it.'? Our lives are not our own. We are called to pick up our crosses and follow Him. Not our own plans or desires or conveniences. Ain't nothin' about this whole "following Jesus" thing that is supposed to be convenient. Ask Jesus if the Cross was "convenient" or glamorous.

So, should every Christian adopt? Well, I like to turn that question on its head...What is a good reason a Christian SHOULDN'T adopt? Most reasons are self-focused if we are really honest with ourselves.

[Obviously, many people are not "fit" to adopt right now, but that is usually due to our own messes we've made with relationships, finances, life choices, etc, and not something put in our way stopping us from adopting.]

ADOPTION FUNDRAISING 101 - Guest Blogger - Gwen Oatsvall (see blog list on side bar)

2010-02-05T15:55:00.000-08:00

I am posting this because so many families I talk to are so intimidated by the cost of adoption. Many never considering that God can and does provide!

Look at this statistic: 34% of Christian families have thought about adoption - only 1% actually do. Sadly, I think alot of them do not realize how much God longs for us to turn to Him for provision! Imagine how many children could find homes IF they could trust God's desire to show us how big He is!

I hope you are inspired and enjoy the post below.
Blessings,
Lydia

I can't tell you how many emails I get about adoption fundraising, so I thought I would do a post and see if I can put all my thoughts into one place ... This will not be a quick or easy fix to hurdles of raising funds ... I do cling to a saying my husband uses - "GOD WILL FUND WHAT HE FAVORS!" ... And we know HE favors the LEAST OF THESE !!!
So here are a few bullet points that I hope will make your journey clear and encourage you ...
1. Prepare your prayer life and be prepared to work really really HARD !!!

2. Do you believe what the scriptures say ? We are all called to care for orphans, speak up for those with no voice, where your heart is there also lies your treasure, whatever you did for the least of these you did for ME !!! And there are many more that call us to stand up for the FATHERLESS

3. You need be to share your story and the journey you are on ... God calls us to be prepared to give a TESTIMONY of what He is doing in our life ... How can people come along side of you when they don't know where you are on your journey ...

4. What are you talents ??? My husband is a coach and during our 2nd adoption he did a few special sports camps to raise money ... Use what God has gifted you w/ to raise funds ...

5. Don't ever be embarrassed to write letters to any and all who you are in contact w/ about your adoption and the RANSOM needed to bring your children home ... I can not tell you the people who have come along side of us financially because that was their part in our journey ... God called them to aid us and we are proud to say that they have a hand in bringing our children home and when they see Emily, Maggie, Joseph or Daisy at the gym playing, running around the yard, or at church they can know they are part of our legacy !!!

6. Katie has taught me about saying YES !!! Her life has showed us how to live more radically for Christ ... How amazing and peaceful it is to be in the center of God's will ... I will be honest and say on a teacher's salary and 6 kids (4 adoptions, 2 special needs angels, and all the medical) it doesn't make sense on paper ... We have even had people ask us HOW, WHY, and SAY WE ARE CRAZY ... but I will also say that we have never missed a meal, a house payment, gone cold, or needed anything, so how crazy really are we ... WE HAVE ROOM AT OUR TABLE, WE HAVE ROOM IN OUR HEARTS, WE HAVE ROOM IN OUR HOUSE, WE HAVE ROOM IN THE CAR, WE HAVE ROOM IN OUR DAY ... so why wouldn't we !!!

7. WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE UP ??? cable (gave that up a year when bringing Maggie home), TIVO, texting, STARBUCKS, dinner out (gave this up for 3 months when raising funds for Joseph/Daisy), Target new shoes, Magazine habit (gave this up when raising funds for Joseph/Daisy), concession at the games, or stick to a strict grocery budget ... We have done all these at one time or another ... It is not a sacrifice when you think of the eternal blessing you will receive when holding your child !!!

8. ACCEPTING HELP ... Katie Jo is a prime example of a selfless, gracious, and precious friend, who truly understands how precious it is to bring home a child and how hard that can be ... I can't tell you the amount of help she has been to me in raising funds, spreading the news about 147, and just down right getting in the dirt to get the job done ... She is an adoptive mom raising funds herself and yet, she has helped countless others do the same ... IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND WILLING TO HELP YOU, THEN LET THEM BECAUSE WE ARE THE BODY OF CHRIST NOT AN ISLAND !!!

9. check out the following for additional help ... LifeSong, Both Hands, and Show Hope

10. Last but not least ... After creating my first tee to fundraise and God completely blessing my efforts, Suzanne and I created 147 Million Orphans with a 3 fold purpose - 1) Bring awareness to the Orphan Crisis, 2) Feed Children in Uganda in Katie's program, 3) HELP FAMILIES FUNDRAISE. We know we have a great product ... We have sold to over 35 states in the United States along w/ British Columbia, Canada, Costa Rica, and Europe ... We have been and are helping over 15 families raise funds w/ all of our products (we are now offering the Ugandan Necklaces for fundraising efforts). IT IS OUR HONOR AND PRIVILEGE TO WALK THIS JOURNEY WITH YOU ... I have been there ... I UNDERSTAND YOUR HEART ... We have worked out most of the kinks in the process and it seems to be running very smoothly ... We have moved all the gear back into our garages (Jan's to be exact ... She is a whole other post ...Angel sent to 147) ... We are mom's helping other mom's to bring home the children God has for them !!!

Don't be afraid to SHOUT ... Tell the world your desire to see a LONELY PLACED IN A FAMILY! YOUR FAMILY !!!

You won't be alone ... God will send the troops !!!

Adopted for Life . . . and in Death

2010-02-04T13:04:00.000-08:00

Please click on the link below - it is a tragic but beautiful story.
Adopted for Life . . . and in Death

Amazed by the Outpouring of Love for Haitian Orphans

2010-01-21T04:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was an absolutely crazy day! I guess I should back up a bit to say it started at 9:30pm on Tuesday night when I got a call from a friend telling me that there were 300 Haitian orphans arriving the next day and they were looking for families to host them. I quickly got on the phone, sent out emails and prayed...before I went to bed I had $5000 pledged by a church, and 14 host families all in about a 2 hour span.

The next morning, my phone began ringing around 6:30 am and rang non-stop until 8pm last night. I also received about 100 emails, all wanting to help, to host or to adopt the 300 orphans arriving from Haiti. After a grueling day of fielding phone calls and emails, it came to light that the children were not coming right away as expected and that the details were not quite as we had been informed. However, it was wonderful to be a part of the response that people had. People from all over the United States were calling and emailing - it was touching to hear people's heart through their voice messages and emails......so many people wanted to help.

One thing I pointed out to Michele (our executive director) is that while the Haiti crisis is huge, there is an orphan crisis EVERY DAY. When there are over 145 million orphans needing care and families it is a crisis. Unfortunately, the response there is less than stellar...........I talk to so many people that call about hosting the Ukrainian children that are willing to host but when the full details are shared, they are not willing to do anything that truly costs them.

For some, the financial aspect of adoption is a deal breaker while for others it is the investment of their time, their emotions or their comfort that keeps them from being willing to give a child the future they deserve. I wish that people would truly grasp what Jesus was saying when he shared that the two greatest commands were to love God with all you heart, your soul and your strength and to love your neighbor as yourself. If people were truly able to wrap their minds around that then there would be no obstacle to adopt.

While the response to the Haitian orphans was wonderful and real, I wonder how many would have committed to being willing to adopt if they knew it would cost them...........their money, their time, their emotions, their comfort........I would like to think all would still want to, but past experience has taught me that there are few who are truly willing to pay the price.

My prayer is that the crisis in Haiti will continue to touch hearts, and that the global attention on the Haitian orphans will shed light on orphans all over the world and their need for love and care. I pray for families to find the courage to adopt, to trust in God's provision for their finances and to see the orphan through God's eyes.

What a blessed Christmas!

2009-12-27T16:43:00.000-08:00

What a beautiful way to start Christmas! Waiting on the steps in anticipation of what is under the Christmas Tree! Of course the two older ones had to be dragged out of bed - but the 5 youngest were up at 5am!

This Christmas was very special, it was Griffan's first. He shared with us he had never gotten a Christmas gift before. We talked about how great it was that he got Christmas gifts and a family this year! He agreed it was the best! What he doesn't know is it is our best Christmas too. Jeff got very emotional several times, thinking about what a special day it was for Griffan and that we were blessed with the opportunity to give him this gift of a family.

I pray some Christmas in the future, Griffan fully understands just how special this year was. I hope he discovers it isn't about the presents he had under the tree, but the true gift of this Christmas was........Jesus.

Ukrainian American Hoosier!

2009-12-23T12:52:00.000-08:00

We have a very happy and loving little boy! We have had nothing but smiles and hugs since we got home (I know the honeymoon will end!). It is so wonderful to be a part of making a child so happy. For Griffan, there was no hesitation, no looking back - only forward. What a wonderful Christmas gift to us and to him!

I pray that for every child that is waiting, God is touching the heart of a family - I also pray that the family will be brave enough to weather the difficulties of the adoption journey. We are fighting for the very lives of these children - it isn't an easy task. But for those who are courageous enough - it is a journey that can be filled with hidden blessings.

My prayers go up for all those families who are struggling in their process and need strength and courage that only God can provide. I pray for the children that so desperately want a family and those that don't because they don't understand what a family is.

For today, I will concentrate on all the smiles, hugs, and "I love you Mama"'s that Griffan can give and tonight I will watch A HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS and be thankful that our son is home.

After 50 hours of travel....we made it home!!!!!!!

2009-12-21T14:15:00.000-08:00

Will post more details later - needless to say I am still tired. After travelling for 50 hours, we got home last night around 9pm. The snowstorm on the east coast caused us major travel delays.

While I got no sleep - Griffan grabbed some when he could (or would). When he found out we were almost to Indianapolis - he perked up and got silly! He was so excited. He told me on the plane he doesn't want to be called "Vadym" any more - he is now Griffan forever.

To kick off his first day in America - he had to go to the dentist and got a tooth pulled. He had a badly decayed molar that was in to the nerve and causing much pain. Poor baby...Hopefully tomorrow will be pain free! Either way - he seems to be the happiest boy on earth right now!

Introducing Griffan

2009-12-15T10:06:00.000-08:00

Prayers for Yulia...

2009-12-13T08:55:00.000-08:00

Had fun today handing out the socks, gloves and hats I bought for a few of the kids. We then had a little party with cookies, fruit and juice. I love spending time with the children - Griffan stayed busy most of the time taking pictures which kept his pouting to a minimum (only once). We were wrapping things up to take Griffan and Luba with us to our apartment when one girl began to cry...at first she wouldn't tell us why, but she finally told us she was crying because she too wanted a mama and papa. My heart was breaking for her.

I truly wish at this moment I could win the lottery and bring her, her 3 sisters and brother home with me too but the odds aren't very good. Please say a prayer for Yulia, her large sibling group makes it very difficult to find a family that is willing, but it doesn't prevent her from wanting parents to love her and care for her. God is more than able to provide, and all 5 of the kids are amazing....beautiful, sweet, smart, polite, kind, .....

I am praying that this year, Yulia gets her Christmas wish.......a mama and papa who love her and cherish her for the beautiful girl that she is, as well as her beautiful sisters and brother. It is the season for miracles.

Life is good.......

2009-12-11T09:36:00.000-08:00

Today when I got up, I had the opportunity to watch the sunshine (that has been absent since our first day in Ukraine) cut through the clouds and beam in my window. I sat there drinking my coffee and praying - a great morning!

Later, we got to the orphanage and asked if we could take the kids for the afternooon (12-6pm) and were given permission~! It was fun sitting with the kids, trying to play a game that teaches them English, and feeding them! I made Griffan take off his pants and mended them in 3 places (2 of them in an unmentionable spot!) and Lena mended his jacket.

After getting home, we discovered we had HOT water! Enough for all 3 of us to have a shower and wash our hair (no more furry legs!). I posted on Facebook that Christmas must have come early! I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be on this journey - and I pray that many others will follow me here - there are so many precious kids here.

Every day the kids greet us and are anxious for recognition and a hug. Their smiles are so beautiful! When we are visiting our kids in the assistant director's office, many children open up the door for a quick look and hello. Griffan's friend asked if I could help him come to America someday too - he wanted a family.....I wish I could touch enough hearts to empty all the orphanages around the world....but it is not within my grasp, only God's. I am just happy to be a small part of His plan.

So for now, powerless to solve the orphan crisis, I will concentrate on the happiness of one little boy, and sharing as many smiles, hugs, and hello's as I can during the rest of the time I am here and count my blessings. Life is good, God is amazing!

On the bright side...

2009-12-10T08:32:00.000-08:00

Today we got up early and headed to Cherkassy! Less than $2 for a 1 1/2 hour ride! Looked around for souveniers but couldn't find any. It is so funny - people lined up all over the street selling outdated Avon products. It was a nice break in our schedule (even though our kids didn't like we weren't coming today).

Went for pizza - was so looking forward to it after a bad food day yesterday. We went to our main restaurant in town and it was closed for a funeral dinner so we went down the street to another place we had tried to go before but it was always closed. Music was BLARING and there was no one in there. The waitress came and gave us a menu and got us some hot tea (Lena thought she used the same bag for all 3 - very weak!). We started to order and they had nothing we asked for - so we finally asked what they did have! Between the 3 of us we ordered borscht, fries, pelmeni and meat. The borscht was lukewarm (oil had seperated from broth), the potatoes tasted moldy, the pelmeni was sticky - meat was so so -but afraid to finish it. We decided to just go home and have chocolate.

Back to the pizza - not exactly mozzarella cheese and it wasn't much to my liking. Julie and Lena liked it okay, but I was disappointed after the bad food day yesterday (we only eat one meal a day) - On the bright side though before we left Cherkassy we stopped at McDonald's and had a hamburger, fries and cherry pie! Tasted wonderful!!!

Bought a few things at the store today and stopped at the internet cafe as ours wasn't working last night or this morning. Got on the cold bus to go back to our apartment. The funny thing is - the situation was so "ukrainian"! The bus station sells bus tickets, but the driver also sells them on the side, the inspector comes to count how many people and how many tickets were paid for and there were 4 more people than had bought tickets. The bus driver negotiates it down to paying her for 2 (they both pocket the money!). As we are pulling out past the station - another 5 people got on the bus! Lena told us that bus drivers are wealthy! So funny!

We are hoping to be able to pick up the kids tomorrow and spend some time with just them. I bought some games to play with them and have some movies. We will see......

No hot water again tonight - I joked about not being able to shave my legs but on the bright side it is at least keeping me warm!

The end is in sight!

2009-12-08T22:45:00.000-08:00

One week from today I will be heading to Kyiv with Griffan and finishing up the US Embassy paperwork! I will be home on Saturday, the 19th! We have a really long connection in Frankfort and a short one in Philadelphia. Please pray we make our connecting flight! I have this dream of being stuck and not making it home due to holiday traffic!!!!

Julie had court yesterday and all went well. The judge is giving her the paperwork a day early which should allow Julie to make it home for Christmas! Praise God! Luba has also been very shy and quiet and after court she was like a different child! I think the poor thing has been worried about getting her hopes up too much...and felt the relief. Her personality change had Julie worried and when Luba opened up it went a long way to reassure Julie!

I miss my family so much - I can't wait to see them! I love the emails the girls send! I am so glad we have internet here! Reading their emails goes a long way in helping me get through this time!

Griffan is also so excited about going home......vsegda (forever!). He is so cute when he practices saying his name: Grrrrrrriffan Na-tan-ee-yell Tarrrrrrrrr (they roll their r's here and can't say the th sound!). :) He is such a loving little boy - likes to hold my hand, get hugged and kissed - no wiping them off yet and saying, "Mom!" like most boys his age! He can be a pouter but quickly gets over things. I sense a lot of frustration coming when he gets home - he doesn't like to do things he doesn't do well! AND like most boys - doesn't like school!

We continue to endure under less than ideal circumstances - limited availability of water and lately no hot water! But we will survive and be more grateful for where we live! Looking very forward to that LONG HOT shower! :)

Still here...

2009-12-05T22:57:00.000-08:00

Not really sure what to title the post today...other than we are still here. Jeff headed out Friday night to Kyiv and flew home Saturday, so Julie and I are left to finish things up. We had a new arrival to our routine - Anya (who is going to travel with the children coming in December) arrived late Friday night and it was nice to have someone new to talk to and have new conversations!

Julie had to go to the notary on Saturday and since we were going to get to the orphanage late, we got some kalbasa, cheese, ham, bread, drinks and fruit to take to the orphanage and had somewhat of a picnic with the kids. When we first got there, we had all the kids coming to Indiana later this month in and all the ones that had been this past summer in a small room - probably not more than a 10x10 room. Picture 3 adults and about 12 kids in a very small room - with a table and alot of chairs. Can you spell claustrophobia???

At first it got off to a bit of a rocky start - Vadym (who now wants me to call him Griffan :) was NOT happy about having all the kids in the room, there are a couple of kids that want to be in the room that he doesn't like. He began to pout and not make a very good impression on Anya! Not a proud mom at that point - so I took him outside the room and had Anya tell him he needed to behave. I assured him I was HIS mom forever and that out of all the kids in that room I loved HIM! I told him he would soon be leaving the orphanage forever and that the children in the room were still going to be there and that I wanted to get to know them and maybe help them also find a forever family. He listened and apologized and I gave him a hug and kisses (which I love that he lets me and seems to love it!). He came in and was a good boy the rest of the time - even told Anya he was sorry he got off on the wrong foot. I guess now that he has a mom and dad he wants to hold on tight.

We had a type of interview session with the kids - what do they like to do, their favorite colors, favorite foods, and asked if they had any questions about coming to America. It was alot of fun as the kids shared! I don't think any of them will be frightened coming - they are all anxious about it and looking forward to the adventure! All the kids wanted to know about their families - and that was hard..........I have one little 11yo girl who is so sweet and so beautiful (she has 2 sisters and 1 brother) that was asking about what "her" host family was like....I don't have one for her yet (and she is one of my favorites!) and I felt so bad...If you know anyone who would even consider the thought of 4 kids (ages 11,10,9,7) please let me know! They are wonderful kids - all of them.

Today is like the others - getting up early enough to try to catch the water on and waiting to go to the orphanage. Coming back and trying to figure out what to do until bedtime. At least we can enjoy Anya while she is here - she leaves tomorrow and Lena arrives. So again - new conversation and a break in the monotony. Also - Julie's daughter Alyona's older sister is here to visit a few days (which makes Julie feel better too).

Julie will have her 2nd court on Tuesday - please pray it will go well for her. I had told her I would stay with her if she wanted me to and she doesn't. I will not leave her alone though - we will make sure someone is with her the last few days. I leave on the 19th (which is a Saturday) and on Monday Julie will hit the road running with Victor to get all her paperwork for the visa. We are praying that Julie will make it home on Christmas eve.......please pray with us that she will get her Christmas miracle too.

I wish I could make the process smooth for everyone.....I wish there would be no Ukrainian or Italian couples to compete with, no officials who are trying to make a point, no judge that has the desire to wield their power, an adoption authority that was consistent, a country that would understand the why behind what we are doing, no delays, no stress, no pain........but unfortunately I can't...all I can do is to try to encourage and guide families along the way and trust that God ultimately knows best. There are days that my job is such a burden ... but then I spend time with the children...so beautiful, so wonderful, so in need of love, so worth all the struggle, stress, and pain that a family goes through and the burden of the job.

Helping these precious children is so worth the cost.........I wish I could help everyone understand that. Please pray that God would continue opening that door to help these children, that God would stir hearts of families to open their lives up to them, God's provision for each family, that each family would trust God to lead them to the child He knows is best for them and the strength for all of us to get through the rough patches in the process. All for God's glory.....

Good news and a bump in the road....

2009-12-04T09:08:00.000-08:00

Okay - the good news is that we did have court today and things went well. In 10 days, V will officially be Griffan! He was very happy and so were we.

Now - the bump in the road.....Julie who travelled with us had her court scheduled today too but unfortunately the judge she had only wanted to do the preliminary court today and scheduled the official court on Tuesday. Not what we expected or hoped for...needless to say Julie was upset. This will be pushing it to get back by Christmas. However - they don't call it Christmas "Miracles" for nothing.

Please keep Julie in your prayers and that she is able to get all the paperwork she needs to make it home by Christmas. I know it is only a few extra days but when you are here a day seems like 10.

Can't wait to enjoy all the comforts of home....water than runs all day (instead of 6pm to 8am), toilets you can flush anytime you want and that are actual toilets and not holes in the ground, pizza delivery, tv we can watch and understand, signs and menus we can read, knowing that when you are in line that you are actually in a line and no one is going to keep cutting in front of you, being able to brush your teeth and wash your hands like normal, washing a full load of laundy(not miniature) and actually tossing in the dryer, .............as you can see home sounds pretty good right now! I miss the girls and dogs coming to snuggle in the bed with me!

But all in all - it is worth the cost......I would do it again for a little boy whose face lights up and runs to greet us! After all.......Christ did so much more for us...a little discomfort on my end is nothing compared to what He did to give us a future.

Would LOVE to hear from you - it is great to get emails or comments!

Going to Court Friday!!!

2009-12-02T10:29:00.000-08:00

Good news! All that was needed to accomplish court has been achieved (thanks to our wonderful team!)! We will have court on Friday! Jeff will leave Friday to head back to Kyiv and home on Saturday!

God has been wonderful to us and has so far answered every prayer and every hurdle has been jumped! We are praying that we will make it home by 12/19!

I would write more but I am tired today and can't find the words to make it very interesting!

I am so excited that it looks like we may get our Christmas miracle after all!

A little relief to the monotony!

2009-12-01T00:46:00.000-08:00

Today we are just waiting and trying to find something to fill our time until we head to the orphanage! We will get to visit with the children for about 3 hours and then we will head to the one and only restaurant in town (which is very good!) and have our main meal of the day (we actually have been able to have toast here in the morning). Then we walk home and try to find something to occupy us until we can go to bed.

However tomorrow will be special as we are heading to a neighboring town to visit an orphanage director I know! There is actually a McDonalds there and we are very much looking forward to it!!!!!! Then for even more excitement - we are having a party for the orphanage on Thursday and having court on Friday! Jeff will be heading home Saturday - while Julie and I wait for our 10 days and do the medical/vsa thing! We are hoping and praying for everything to work ou for us to be home on 12/19!!!!!!!!

All is going well here and our team is AWESOME!!! I couldn't ask for any better!

Hope to update you on Friday with our official news! :) Please keep praying!

The green-eyed monster....

2009-11-29T08:32:00.000-08:00

We had a great day at the orphanage today! Even had the opportunity to skype home so that V could see the kids and they got to see him. It was too loud to talk as we had extra kids to spend time with us!

For most of our visit, V was doing fine - but then towards the end he became a little jealous of all the time that mom and dad were spending playing with the other kids. When I it was time to go, two girls grabbed my hands and V got upset. I had Victor tell him that we were his parents and we loved him the most, but these children had no one. He still didn't like it much...

It is amazing how very much these children soak up any attention! They are like a dried up flower needing water and when you talk to them, show an interest and affection - you can see such a difference in them, the light inside turns on and they bloom. I hope I never get callous to their need.

We won't get to see the kids tomorrow, we have some paperwork to get done. I am all for whatever it takes to get things rolling as well as a break in the routine! We have about 4 1/2 hours a day occupied and the rest is down time. For those coming - bring anything you can think of to do!

Tomorrow is a critical day for us - we will know then how things stand and IF we get to have court on Friday. We are praying very hard - hoping for good news and that it all comes together! I am hoping my next post is a joyous one!

Same day, different date...

2009-11-28T06:52:00.000-08:00

We are at the phase of the journey that each day is the same as the previous and the one to come....I love seeing the children but the routine gets monotinous. Julie and I only have another probable 17 days of it...

Today we did get to meet some other children, a couple of them that are coming to Indiana in late December. Yulia is adorable, an older girl with 3 siblings - she is quiet but seems to be really sweet! Denys Y also seems to be a really sweetie! I have seen a couple of the others but not enough to make any impression. I think we should have time tomorrow. For now we sit in a room and play with the kids. We have a backpack that has some games and I brought some old video games with me - as you would guess those are the biggest hit with the boys or girls!

We also got to see some art the children made - very interesting and some quite beautiful! We also got to see V's room and his bed. He is so sweet!!! He is just so happy to have a family...he sits by us and sometimes he will just smile and lay his head on us. He is very snuggly with me and sometimes with Jeff but he really likes to tickle and be a boy with his daddy. He has made it clear he is very ready to go home and has not a moment's hesitation about it.

We should know on Monday if things will continue to go well. Please keep praying! I enjoy being here with the kids buy miss the ones at home. We have had fun emailing and skyping though! They are so funny!

We have become the regulars at the one restaurant in town - it is really good and for 4 of us to eat a big meal is only around $3-5 per person. The taxi we take back and forth from the orphanage to our apartment is pretty inexpensive also - it is around $5 round trip!

I guess for now that is all...I look forward to hearing from you! We have about 4 hours a day that are occupied and about 12 a day that are not! The down time is a killer! Julie and I think we may do some travelling during our 10 day wait - we aren't sure we can handle that much down time for that long of a period!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving meal!

Things are going well!!!

2009-11-27T01:41:00.000-08:00

Things are going as well as we had hoped! Yesterday we were a bit nervous as the judge is older and has only done 2 adoptions, he was also very busy and was unable to schedule us before mid December. But the good news is he said that we could use another judge to get our court date set! So as of this morning, we are looking at having court on December 4!!! If things go as planned we will be home before Christmas - which is my prayer! Thank you God!!!!!!

Yesterday, our facilitator had the opportunity to talk to "V" about his new name. I had written down the meaning and the "WHY" we wanted to give him a new name and "V" gladly said yes! He is so anxious to get home, he is very excited! The teacher told us that he carries his photo album and letters from us everywhere and shows everyone. She knew about the lipstick kisses, and musical cards! One of "V"'s friends recognized us when we arrived to the orphanage and ran to get him - just by seeing our photos!

Everyone tells us what a good boy he is - which we know, but it is good hearing it! It is so cute to see how happy he is. I will try to post more later - we are heading to the orphanage to visit now. Keep praying!!!

I am thankful....

2009-11-25T23:23:00.000-08:00

I just realized that today is Thursday - which means it is Thanksgiving! Although there will be no turkey and fixings for us today I do have alot to be thankful for...

I am thankful for a God who loves me beyond my imagination...so much so that He sent His son to die for me.

I am thankful for a saviour that was willing to give His life so that I may live.

I am thankful to have had a family that gave me a Christian foundation.

I am thankful for a husband that loves God and loves me and our family.

I am thankful for all of my beautiful children - both by birth and by adoption.

I am thankful for my soon-to-be son, that we have the blessing of being his family.

I am thankful for my friends, both old and new.

I am thankful for my job - I love what I do and can't imagine doing anything else at this point. I love working with the children....and being able to see their lives changed.

I am thankful for my home, especially in seeing the conditions so many others live in.

I am thankful for my country - praying that it stays that way!

Being away from my family is hard, but it is a worthy sacrifice. I pray that "V" will someday understand the sacrifice and will have a lot to be thankful for. I pray that he and all the other children I have helped to come home all understand the importance of the opportunity they now have. God has given them all a new start in life, them out of the millions of orphans around the world....I pray that each of them will discover their God-given purpose. My hope is that they will all have the same desire to help orhans and those in need BECAUSE of where they came from.

Have a wonderful and blessed thanksgiving!!!

I

Finally!!!

2009-11-25T09:00:00.000-08:00

Today we finally made it to our destination! Headed to the children's inspector first and picked up the inspector and found our way to the orphanage, after a little while they brought the kids in! They had asked us if we needed to go to the bathroom first, but I said no because I didn't want to miss seeing "V"'s face as soon as possible! Jeff chose to go and mised being the first one to see him.
"V" had a shy smile on his face and I got a bit of an awkward shy hug first, then after he sat down beside me he looked at me and said, "Mama" and I replied, "Vsegda" which means forever in Russian. He smiled and I hugged him tight. He was very excited to turn and see Jeff - he went and gave him a hug too, a little more comfortable now. He sat so sweetly beside me for a while and then he had to write a letter to say that he wanted to be adopted by us, which he did with no hesitation!

I was happy that he remembered everyone's names - he only stumbled a bit over Payton's but only once. We had to make a quick exit because we had to go to the notary to get our paperwork started. We went to the only notary in our city and he was very busy - said he couldn't see us until next week. Well that doesn't fit in to our plan of hoping to have court next week so we ended up having to go to a notary about 30km away.

Funny thing is that she noticed I had notarized Julie's paperwork and she warmed up to me and began asking about what was required to be a notary in the US - I replied $30 and an application. Here it is quite different and she enjoyed telling me. I must have made a good impression because she gave me a really nicely bound book about notaries in Ukraine with her picture bookmarked.

We then headed back on a near empty tank (had visions of having to walk back!). Since we had to get up around 3am this morning and head out we decided to go back to our apartment and get to bed early. Tomorrow we will get a bit more paperwork done and head to the orphanage. It will be the big day to discuss names! Praying he likes his new name.

I hope to write more tomorrow. I am so exhausted I don't have much to share today......

Today, and impressions....

2009-11-24T01:39:00.000-08:00

Today we will be going to pick up the necessary paperwork to go to the region where the orphanage is and start the process to get a court date. It has been difficult being so close to "V" and not seeing him, I am so anxious to see his beautiful face and to hear him call me, "Mama" again.

When he visited this summer he called me "Mama" a million times a day, but when we got to the airport on the day he left he stopped calling me "Mama" and called me, Lydia.....it broke my heart that he had to seperate his feelings and to draw back. I want him to know how much we love him and that he will soon have a "Mama" forever....and a huge family!

Yesterday we brought some souveniers, and you know you have been to the slope too often when the guys recognize you! LOL! Oh well, he gave me a good price (or so he told me). We will go back today as Jeff has a list of items to buy.

Unlike most adopters who do blogs, I have not written much about my impressions of the country. After being here so often I just don't think of it as often. :) It is so funny here though........you will go in a nice restaurant and find the hole in the ground toilets - how nice of a restaurant does it have to be to have a real one? I have also decided that the people here also walk different than Americans do - they have a purpose to it and a fast stride, where Americans have more of a lazy walk or a saunter.

You will also not find any respectable female in Ukraine NOT wearing her boots! Short ones, spiked ones, knee high, thigh high, boots of all shapes, and colors! Also - natural haircolor here is not appreciated by the wormen - almost every woman I see has her hair colored - old and young alike. They always look so stylish and I always feel so dowdy here!

So - for now that is a snippet of what it is like in Ukraine. Not much news to report yet, tomorrow we will hit the ground running, trying to complete the process in the least amount of time possible. We should be able to be home by Christmas - or that is our goal!

Please keep us all in your prayers!
Blessings,
Lydia

SDA TODAY!

2009-11-23T04:09:00.000-08:00

We finally made it to the SDA today and had our appointment! The photo they showed us of "V" was so sad - it was taken when he first came to the orphanage. Basically though our appointment was short and there were no surprises. We did a little shopping on the hill, went to the embassy for Jeff and had lunch. Not too exciting. We will not leave for the orphanage until Wednesday but we are hoping to hear something by Friday about when the possibility we can have court.

Not much to really write today...I am looking forward to posting when we have exciting news. I can't wait to see "V"'s sweet face! It is so cute - the girls email and ask now about "Griffan". Praying he likes his new name! :)

Love to all!
Lydia

We made it!

2009-11-22T02:58:00.000-08:00

We made it safely to Kyiv after spending a beautiful day in Munich! The weather was amazing and we didn't even need our coats! We had the traditional German food - bratworst and German beer. Not too bad! It is such a beautiful city. After a long day we finally made it to Kyiv at 10:30pm - we were exhausted and slept until noon the next day.

Spent a non-eventful day yesterday - Susan and her little boy Cayden joined us and we went to eat and that was about it. Today we will go to buy souveniers and hang out. Tomorrow is our appointment with the SDA and we are hoping for good news that we will get our referral and get to head on to the orphanage.

Nothing exciting or newsworthy as of yet. People are still wearing the masks here due to H1N1 but only a few.

Will hopefully post good news on Monday!

"Adopting one child won't change the world; but for that child, the world will change."

2009-11-18T13:16:00.000-08:00

I love this quote...I have been thinking about it on and off today. I also happened to be flipping through channels and saw a clip of Bruce Wilkinson (one of my favorite authors) talking about his new book: YOU WERE BORN FOR THIS: Seven Keys to a Life of Predictable Miracles. I mention both the quote and the book for a reason....families that are adopting are often told we are "amazing" for doing what we are doing. It isn't that we are amazing or anything special but that we have come to understand that we can truly be the change we want to see in the world (another quote I love!).

In the book (that I am going to go out tonight and buy to read on my trip) YOU WERE BORN FOR THIS, Bruce suggests that we are the vehicle that God uses to deliver miracles. Isn't that a beautiful thought? For example, our family is the miracle that our Ukrainian children needed....and God blessed us to be the deliverers of that miracle. We could have said no - and we could have missed out on the blessings that God has brought in to our lives, through the children that we are privileged to care for, the friends we have met, and the job that I feel that I was purposed to do!

I pray that each and every person that takes the time to read this will be encouraged to seek God and take part of being God's plan for someone's miracle.

You can listen to Bruce Wilkinson talk about his book here: You Were Born For This...part 1.

Excitement, relief, ton of things to do...

2009-11-13T12:07:00.000-08:00

We finally have our new appointment date with the SDA! I am thankful to finally know - the relief is a welcome feeling!!!!!!! I had been praying that it would be on 11/23 and God answered that prayer! We are excited to finally make the preparations to go and get our son!

With a Christmas miracle in mind - we could make it back by Christmas Eve! If we do - Praise God!!! and if we don't - Praise God!!! I am learning that He is in total control and that every day is His to do with what He sees fit. It is not an easy lesson to learn and I still struggle - but it is getting a bit easier. Feel free to remind me of this when I am whining because I miss my family after beeing overseas for 4 weeks!

Now the flurry of activity begins! Due to the holiday travel - we have to leave on Thursday of next week instead of Friday as we thought. So we now have 6 days to get everything done! We are in pretty good shape since we had started - but now I have to organize that sea of suitcases and do some last minute errand running!

We decided to go ahead and get the H1N1 vaccine - our doctor suggested it due to us being overseas and the outbreak there, he felt it put us in a higher risk than if we stayed here. One more thing to get done...but better safe than sorry. I bought dayquil, nyquil, immunization boosting vitamins, and miscellaneous cold/flu meds to take over. I also have a friend who is donating a box of masks to take over - we will give what we have left to the orphanage to use.

All the families I am working with also got their travel dates - let's just put it this way - there will be alot of hoosiers in Ukraine over the holidays! Everyone is so excited to begin their journey - the anticipation has been building and finally they can spring in to action! It is funny how quickly the excitement wanes in light of so many things being out of their control....I just pray that God will give them (and me!) the strength we need to hold on and to walk the path He has already ordered. It is one thing being able to "talk the talk" but a whole other situation in being able to "walk the walk". Your faith is stretched beyond what you could ever imagine - but somehow you get through it and come out so much stronger on the other side.

My prayer for each and every family is that God will be glorified in every way, every day. That they will be an encouragement for each other, and hold each other up when needed, just like in the battle in Exodus:
Joshua did what Moses ordered in order to fight Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went to the top of the hill. It turned out that whenever Moses raised his hands, Israel was winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, Amalek was winning. But Moses' hands got tired. So they got a stone and set it under him. He sat on it and Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on each side. So his hands remained steady until the sun went down. Joshua defeated Amalek and its army in battle. Exodus 17:12

I will try to update as I can while I am gone! I am excited to see all that God has planned and to share that with you! Please pray for our health, our families health, our new son's health, and all of our safety. I pray that this Thanksgiving - we will truly understand the meaning of thankfulness and from where our blessings come....God bless.

Sad today....

2009-11-10T11:08:00.000-08:00

I am facing today with some sadness - not because of our travel delays but because of regret. If you have not read Katie's latest blog entry - I encourage you to do so - it is the November 8th entry. (in fact - read it first and then read mine!)

This 21 year old girl has touched my life so profoundly.......and is making me face the regret in my life but also encourages me to have the determination to change. Katie quotes Francis Chan from one of my favorite books (CRAZY LOVE), "How we live our days, is how we live our lives." She points out that many of us have wasted days in waiting on something instead of living in the moment. I am sad to say that I have wasted too many moments in my life - waiting...just like the past few days.

While I have not gotten very upset over our delay - I have not taken advantage of it either. Today I will take the time to enjoy the time I have with my daughters - before I have to make our new son a priority. More snuggles, more secrets, more individual time with each of them before "V" comes home and needs our focus and attention.

This reminds me of another favorite book of mine by John Piper "A LIFE NOT WASTED". I don't want to look back at my life and see alot of regret - I want to try to live my life in such a way that I can find a way each day to glorify God. If I can learn to do that and teach my children to do the same I will be happy - or if we at least strive to live our lives that way I will be pretty happy.

My favorite quote from the book is, "Only one life, twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last." Can you imagine living our lives in which every decision we make is weighing whether it will be done in Christ's name and have lasting value? How different would our lives be? I know mine would be vastly different.

So - the point of my whole entry today is to encourage you to live each moment........or at least to do the best you can. I hope that Katie's post encourages you to live.......

Disappointment....stupid pigs...........

2009-11-03T04:38:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the H1N1 virus (aka - swine flu) our scheduled departure date for Ukraine is postponed indefinetly....and for now we wait.... Next Friday we "may" hear some news but we are told that it is likely at least a 3 week delay. I am sorry for us, for the families that it is affecting and mostly for the children who now have to wait longer......

Please pray for the situation in Ukraine - that they will lift the quarantine as soon as possible. Please pray for "V" and the other children who have to continue to wait. Also pray for the health of the people in Ukraine.

I know that God is bigger than H1N1 and that I can trust Him on our timing.

Time for a Celebration! We got our appointment date!

2009-10-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

Today we got the email from Ukraine with our State Department of Adoption appointment for Monday, November 9, 2009! We will leave on Friday, November 6 for Ukraine!

As you can guess we are happy! We want to surprise "V" and show up! I can hardly wait to see his sweet face and to squeeze him so tight!

It is so amazing that it has happened this quickly! If you look at my timeline it is only 12 weeks from the time my husband said yes until we have our appointment! So, it will be about 4 months from start to finish! Quite an accomplishment for an international adoption!!! Thank you God for your blessing!!!! I will be posting some during our trip and will fill in even more after our trip! Stay tuned for more to come....Please keep us, our family, "V" and the process in your prayers!

Little Ray of Sunshine on a Crazy Day!

2009-10-17T13:11:00.000-07:00

Thursday was a crazy day! Started off hearing that a family that is wanting to adopt a girl turning 16 had their dossier submitted but they wouldn't give them a travel date because the local USCIS had not sent the approval to the embassy. So to start off the day I met them at the USCIS office and tried to find out what needed to happen - unfortunately they had no clue....so I made plans to wake up at 2am to call the embassy in Ukraine to find out what we needed to do.

Later that day, I got emails from Ukraine telling me that families dossiers had alot of mistakes by the Secretary of State's office....I love that Jenya said, "The Secretary of State must be tired because he is making alot of mistakes." Had to make plans to get all the documents re-apostilled on Friday - fortunately I had the families do extra copies and was able to pull all but one document together.

But the little ray of sunshine in the day was receiving a letter from Ukraine from "V"!!! Unfortunately it was in Ukrainian cursive - no way I could read it! Luckily Val and Jenya came to my rescue and translated!!! It warmed my heart to read what he had written:
Hello, this is the letter from V. I love you and DO wait you to come in November. I miss you so much. Thank you for your present. And thank you for everything. I love you all - whole family and really want to join you soon. As you said I prayed to come to you! I miss all family so much, and I miss Takers (Tucker) and Riley .

Kisses. See you soon!
V

Not much longer sweet boy and we will be there!!!!!!!!

The Waiting Game....and how much God cares!

2009-10-13T14:19:00.000-07:00

I just had a friend text me and ask if there was any news on our adoption and I sent her a text saying, "Wait, wait, and wait some more..." Literally within a minute of me sending it I got a new post on Facebook that said, "Caught up in the wait today? We're praying for you.". Amazing how God reaches out to us and shows us how much he cares - even on the little things!!!

Here is the message from Show Hope that was linked to the Facebook post:

Faithfully, I Will Wait
Posted on October 13, 2009 by mckensey . http://ow.ly/ueC2

As I drove the back roads to work this morning I had the radio playing like usual. A song came on that I’ve heard quite a few times lately but today it stuck a different cord within me.

I’m waiting. I’m waiting on you Lord.
And I am hopeful. I’m waiting on your Lord
Though it is painful. But patiently I will wait.
Typically I sing along with an inward focus thinking about things in my life I’m waiting for. That special someone, for God to answer something I’ve been praying about…but today my heart went out to all the families that are waiting for their child to come home. I thought of the two hundred plus names that sit on my computer waiting for us to get notice that it’s time to travel so we can send them their grant award. With China and other countries slowing so dramatically over the past years, we hear story after story of families who have made the decision to adopt, started the process, are ready to make this happen but for now they are simply stuck waiting.

I will move ahead bold and confident.
Taking every step in obedience.
While I’m waiting. I will serve you.
While I’m waiting. I will worship.
While I’m waiting. I will not faint.
I’ll be running the race. Even while I wait.

I think for all of us it’s easy to get caught up in the wait. Wondering when it will happen, wondering why it’s taking so long. But the next line calls us to live while we’re waiting. Keep running, keep serving, keep on living and try not to focus on the wait. Easier said than done that’s for sure.

I’m waiting. I’m waiting on You, Lord.
And I am peaceful. I’m waiting on You, Lord.
Though it’s not easy. But faithfully, I will wait.
Yes, I will wait.

To all of you out there who are caught up in the waiting know that I’m praying for you today. As I’m paying the bills, running reports, responding to e-mails, and going about my daily routine, you are on my heart and mind!

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. Psalm 130:5

The Power of One - Revealing God's heart and His glory!

2009-10-06T11:49:00.000-07:00

Katie from the previous post with her 14 beautiful daughters! Please read more about Katie at http://www.amazima.org/! She is a true example of what one person can do if they trust God and are faithful to His call. My prayer for Katie and her daughters are that God will bless them even greater in Heaven than they could ever imagine and that they would continue to be an inspiration to others. She has accomplished so much at such a young age - I can't imagine what more she can do (I should say what God can do through her). I know that someday Katie will hear God speak to her, "Well done good and faithful servant."

Post that will make you question your life...by Katie

2009-10-05T07:53:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I was at an adoption conference in Nashville and was informed about a beautiful 20yo girl that is living an amazing life for God in Uganda. At 20yo she has moved to Uganda to be a teacher and care for orphans. She has personally adopted 14 children (remember she is only 20!). I hope you will take the time to read some of her posts. She has made me question my committment to God and what I am doing with my life. The link I have provided will take you to her blog.

Let's just say that after reading some of her posts....I want to be Katie when I grow up.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007
http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2007-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&updated-max=2008-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=30

it is pouring. it is freezing. the power has been off for days and the water lines are down. yet i stand in the middle of 25 children praising and thanking the Lord. our usual outside worship has been taken indoors due to the storm, so instead of praying together, the children are praying in their individual rooms. i am in the primary boys room which is home to our boys ages 6-10. i have never seen anyone so alive with love for their Maker. some stand with their hands in the air. others, like me, so overwhelmed with awe, have fallen to their knees on the cold, cement floor. the beautiful sound of 26 voices lifted in prayer drowns out the beating of the rain on the tin roof. God is so in this moment, i feel so full of His love, that my heart threatens to burst. this is not something i can explain to you. this is not something words can ever capture. this feeling is bigger. the splendor of God in this room takes my breath away. we all pray out loud and our voices mix into one, all different word, but the same message: thank you. THANK YOU.

at first glance, it would be easy to feel sorry for these little boys. their clothes are tattered, they sleep on old, dirty mattresses, they walk to school barefoot in the rain. they have no electricity, no running water, and it is raining so hard that the whole compound has become a muddy swamp. but you should not pity these children, in fact, you should envy them. i know i do. at six years old, these children know what it is to be filled with the Holy Spirit. these children know the Greatness, the Wonder of our God.

when was the last time you prayed out loud for 30 minutes? when was the last time you spent as little as half an hour listing to the Lord all the reasons that you love Him, thanked Him for all He has done for you, or even simply marveled at his awesome grace?

ive had people ask me why africa is so impoverished, even had people tell me that it is a cursed nation. africa is not impoverished. these children are not poor. we are. we put value in things. these children, having no things, put value in God. we put our trust in relationships, these children, having already seen relationships fail, put their trust in the Lord. this nation is blessed beyond any place, any people i have ever encountered. God has not forgotten these people, in fact, i believe He has loved them just a little bit extra.

i sit here freezing and wet in this pitch-black room as the rain beats on the roof, and God is so close i feel i can touch Him. my deepest prayer is that i could know that Lord as well as the first-grader next to me. all my senses are full of His greatness. Gods glory has fallen down into this place and is soaking us even deeper than the rain. i never ever want to be dry.

Our Last Document!

2009-09-30T05:35:00.000-07:00

I received an email from our local USCIS officer today that my I171-H approval to adopt was put in the mail yesterday and I should receive it today! That is the last document I need to complete my dossier - so it will be off in UPS tomorrow on it's way to Kyiv!

Six weeks from start to finish (could have been 5 if USCIS hadn't stopped at "S" last week - I did it in 5 weeks in 2007)!!! In two weeks our dossier will be submitted to the State Department of Adoptions in Kyiv and we will await our travel date! We have asked if possible to have our appointment on October 26th or 27th - I figure it doesn't hurt to ask! We could potentially be home for Thanksgiving!

I am so thankful that it has been quicker this time - it is hard to wait when you feel that "your" child is far away and needs you! I pray for all the children who wait and all the families waiting to go and get them! I confess it is not something I do well...........

Here is a poem about waiting....

The Wait by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said,"Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

WOO HOO!!!! Fingerprint letter came today!

2009-09-12T10:01:00.000-07:00

I am happy to report that the much awaited fingerprint letter came today!!!! Doing the happy dance!!! Now one last step in our dossier completion is our USCIS I171-H approval to adopt! We are praying that it will be here no later than October 6 - which will give us a week to get it notarized, apostilled, mailed to Ukraine, translated, certified and submitted on October 14!

Please keep us and the other waiting families in your prayers! We're all anxious to get our children home!

Tick...Tock...wait...wait...and wait some more!

2009-09-11T09:19:00.000-07:00

I am happy and a little sad at the same time. My friend Julie got her fingerprint letter today from USCIS - one step closer to getting to Ukraine! I took my application and hers and dropped them off together but my letter didn't come. I am hoping it is just slow mail and mine will be here tomorrow...praying it will be! I also sent her dossier to Ukraine at the exact same time I sent mine and what happens?????? Mine gets to Ukraine a day later! Our facilitator gets our dossiers registered to submit the same day and guess what? Her appointment is October 13 and mine is October 14! So it seems to be that I am destined to be a day later....which I am okay with as long as it is only a day or so! :) Now we pray that our fingerprints are processed QUICKLY!!!!! We need our approval to be in Ukraine no later than October 10th! Please pray that USCIS will be timely!

Out of the mouths of babes - or Children say the darndest things!

2009-09-10T03:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my girls were talking about being adopted and Payton said that she had 3 moms - a biological mother, a Godmother and a real mother. Melted my heart!!!!!!! The other girls chimed in that I was her adoptive mother and she replied to them, "Mom isn't adopted."

I told her that I liked being her real mom!!!!!

The Countdown!

2009-09-09T03:42:00.001-07:00

Yesterday officially marked the 2nd week of my submission of USCIS - now I am awaiting the "offical" letter for fingerprints. Each day rushing out to check the mail anxiously hoping that the letter might be there! After fingerprints - then it will be the nervewracking countdown for the I171-H USCIS approval! THe last document needed for my dossier (paperwork).

I also got good news yesterday - my dossier will be submitted on October 14! And we can expect to travel 2-4 weeks after that - so we are on target for late October, early November. The news was received slightly deflated because I was also told that if I had my USCIS approval, my dossier could have been submitted today............kind of takes a bit of the joy out of it! But I am trying to trust God's timing - I know how my clients feel during the wait and even on the 3rd adoption, the wait isn't really any easier.

For me, once it was in my heart to adopt (knowing or not knowing the child) I have had the sense of urgency to get to "My" child. As a mother, when you know your child needs you, your first instinct is to get there immediately! That is how I feel - one day away from "my" child is one day too many! One more day of them feeling unloved, scared, lonely is one day too much! I would be on the next jet out of here if it were possible!

At least when you are expecting, you know where your child is, and the care they are receiving and that is a comfort. The wait can still be hard but in adoption, everything is seemingly out of your hands - your paperwork depends mostly on the efficiency of some government clerk to do their job in a timely manner, your employer to cooperate in getting a letter the way it needs to be done, your doctor to fill out a form as directed, the list goes on......then when your paperwork finally gets to Ukraine, you wait some more...

The end result is well worth the effort, the wait and the emotions. When you are home with your child and you can see their happiness, it is overwhelming. Just like when you may have glanced upon your newborn. Watching them at a school function and realizing that it may be the first time they had someone in the audience for them, celebrating their accomplishments, and seeing them blossom under your love and the security of a family is priceless.

So for now I wait....praying that some person at USCIS will do their job and send me my *(&^%#@$# approval so that I can go get my boy already! :)

What is in a name?

2009-09-07T05:47:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me personally - you may know that unintentionally I began a naming trend with my kids - one that has gotten away from me. I didn't set out to do but it has ended up that way. When I was 13, I picked out the names Logan and Jordan and fortunately my husband liked them and that is what we named our son and daughter.

When I was pregnant with my 3rd child, I sort of liked the idea of naming a daughter after my mother but wasn't sold on "Grace". I was watching a show called Models, Inc (a Melrose Place spinoff that tanked) and there was a leading female character named Grayson. I didn't like the meaning of the name or that it had the word Gray in it - so I changed the spelling to incorporate the name Grace (and the meaning - undeserved gift) with the word "Son" after Jesus - so her name means "An undeserved gift - which we received through the Son". Graceson the end result.

Then came Lauren, meaning "crowned" and I thought of how she was going to now have a new life and was victorious over the old and how they used to crown runners with the laurel wreath in the olympics. Paul refers to this in his writings in the Bible.

Okay - so many of you may wonder why we would change the name of our daughters from the names they were given and that are from their heritage. Some disagree with it - that it is taking away who they were and their heritage. When we were adopting Lauren, we were also a bit torn as to what to do, but when we met Lauren and saw she was only 5 months old and found out that she had not been named by her mother but given her mother's name we decided to give her a new name (we had chosen Lauren but had decided that we would give her Ukrainian name as her middle and call her what was best). While in Ukraine I met a missionary who had also adopted and I shared this indecision with her - she reminded me that whenever God did anything new in a person's life that he gave them a new name reflecting their new circumstances (ex. Abraham, Sarah, Jacob, Paul, Peter).

I thought that was a wonderful perspective to have! So, then not only did I have the trend of names ending in "N" I decided at that point that the names had to have great meaning.

Okay - now for Katelyn, her name came from my one of my favorite Bible verses "Pure and faultless religion is caring for orphans...James 1:27. Katelyn means "pure". Humorous side story is that when I first decided on the name Katelyn, I thought it meant "light" and I went on and on in my prayer journal about the symbolism of light in the Bible. Her Ukrainian name was Yelena, and when I looked up the meaning it meant "light".

I chose Payton because it has a couple of meanings - one is "village of the warrior" which where we live we are the Whiteland Warriors, and where she is from is where the Russian navy (warriors) is docked. Plus the Scottish version of her name means "royalty" or "of noble birth". Now she is God's family and is the daughter of a king!

At last, it is time to name our new son! It has been a family affair of throwing out names ending in "N" and then looking up the meaning! Jeff, my husband, has been a huge help in throwing out names such as "Lantern" which he told me meant bright light! LOL!!! He has also contributed "Cotton" and "Bison" - needless to say he doesn't get final say! The girls all seem to think they have the right to name him - of course they all 5 have different names they like! While I appreciate their opinion, I remind them it is the parents decision and they will have the opportunity to name their children!

Jeff and I seem to agree on one name - Griffan (yes spelled with an "a" instead of and "i" - which happened when we were naming Payton (first had Peyton and then Graceson pointed out all our kids have 2 syllable names, ending with "N" and all have a "a" in it - see what I mean on how it got away from us? :) I found that in Welsh that it means, "strong in faith". I also love the symbolism of what a griffin (gryphon) is.

SYMBOLISM OF GRIFFIN: In symbolism, the griffin combines the symbolic qualities of two solar creatures, the lion and the eagle. It is the king of birds and lord of the air united with the king of beasts and lord of the earth. Griffins are a symbol of the sun, wisdom, vengeance, strength, and salvation. The griffin's ability to soar like an eagle made him an emblem of poetic and spiritual inspiration.

The griffin's dual nature led it to be associated with Jesus Christ, God and man, king of heaven and earth. The eagle half of the griffin signified Christ's divinity and the lion half represented his humanity. During the Middle Ages, griffins were symbols of Christ's resurrection. The strength of the lion and the wisdom of the eagle combined in the griffin symbolized the strength and wisdom of God. "Griffins are protrayed with a lion's body, an eagle's head, long ears, and an eagle's claws, to indicate that one must combine intelligence and strength." Besides - what 11yo boy wouldn't think it is cool to have his name come from such a cool creature?

Funny thing is his name, Vadym is derived from Didymus which is also Thomas. Thomas means twin. When I was going to have Graceson, I prayed fervently for twins (boy and girl). In adoption lingo - whenever you adopt a child that is less than 9 months in age from one of your children it is called "ARTIFICIAL TWINNING". I never dreamed that God could answer that prayer 11 years later in this way! God does have a sense of humor!

So the long and short of this rambling post is that a family should do what THEY feel is best for them and the child. A couple adopting from infertility may have a name that has a significant meaning to them and should have the opportunity to use it - it isn't a right only give to people naming their biological children. In our family - Vadym would have stood out from Logan, Jordan, Graceson, Katelyn, Payton and Lauren. We want him to feel as much a part of our family as he can. Plus since God is giving him a new beginning - I want to celebrate that new beginning with a new name. It is a name that speaks to what we want for him and one that includes him in his brother and sisters. We are not trying to rob him of his heritage but to give him a sense of belonging. Each family will be different in what they decide - there is no right or wrong answer.

A Picture Speaks A Thousand Words

2009-09-02T04:16:00.000-07:00

Do any of the children in this picture look like orphans? 4 out of 5 of them were (well technically one still is but prayerfully not for long!). I think this picture shows what love can do to change a child's life. When "V" was here, he said that being with us in America was like a dream he could have never imagined. You can see the happiness on his face! Look at all of them closely - which of them knows what it was like to beg for food? Which of them was diagnosed as "failure to thrive"? Which of them deserved what they got? Which of them was born in to a safe and loving environment? Which of them is not worth the effort it takes to adopt?

The sad truth is that there are thousands upon thousands of children just as beautiful (well almost :) speaking from a mother's heart), just as precious and just as deserving as these children to be loved, to have the security of a family and the opportunity to know God.

If only more Christians would step out of their comfort zone and really focus on TRUE RELIGION as defined by God, there would be more photos of FORMER orphans like this. Below is a song that I wrote (I am not a songwriter!) - please read the words and think about it. Is an orphanage good enough for your children? The Bible says to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Is there any cost too high to save YOUR child? Too many times I talk to families that are considering adoption but choose not to because of the cost (not always financially - usually emotionally, or too much out of their comfort zone). Thankfully, Jesus didn't count the cost for us.....

LOVE DOESN'T COUNT THE COST by Lydia Tarr

Mommy, How much did I cost? (child's voice)

Verse:
There’s no price on the value of a life – I just knew
Price was not considered in deciding to love you.
When I saw your face, I didn’t stop to count the cost,
Nothing really mattered then, I knew my heart was lost.
Love doesn't count the cost.

Chorus:
No need to measure sacrifices made
The cost of love, the price I paid,
All I knew
Is when I met you,
love didn't count the cost.

Verse:
If you were to measure all the wealth upon this earth
None of it would equal a portion of your worth.
Too many children wait, so much stands in the way,
Precious lives lost, for no one wants to pay.
Love doesn't count the cost.

Chorus:
No need to measure sacrifices made
The cost of love, The price I paid,
all I knew
is when I met you
love doesn't count the cost.

BRIDGE
How do I value the the time it would take,
Or the sacrifices I would make?
Who said love doesn’t cost a thing?
The truth is… love doesn’t count the cost.

Verse:
When Jesus came to save, was it all about the price?
His blood was shed so we might live - total sacrifice.
What did he do when it was time to pay?
Did He let the cost get in His way?
He didn’t count the cost.

Chorus:
No need to measure sacrifices made
The cost of love, The price He paid,
all He knew
is when it came to you
love didn't count the cost.

Too many children waiting,
precious lives are lost,
is there no one willing?
Love should never count the cost.

3 GREAT BOOKS I WOULD ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ!

2009-08-31T04:15:00.000-07:00

I the past few months I have come across 3 amazing books that I would highly encourage you to read! They will stir your heart to action and give you a bigger picture of what it really looks like to serve God.

First book I read was by Tom Davis, RED LETTERS, Living a faith that bleeds. It focused on the words that Jesus spoke in the new testament. Tom Davis uses personal stories to bring the need to life and encourage you to respond as Jesus would have.

The second book I read, I have mentioned on here before - CRAZY LOVE by Francis Chan. Hopefully many of you found the free download. It will make you take an inventory of your life as a Christian and encourage you to want to change from lukewarm safe christianity to someone who is on fire for God.

The last book I am still reading but it is equally as good - it will break your heart for those who are in need - THE HOLE IN OUR GOSPEL by Richard Stearns. In America today so many of us are blissfully unaware or passively ambivilent to the huge needs in the world outside of our own comfortable life. This book will challenge you to think globally about how much you are needed to minister to someone else's need.

I hope anyone who reads this will consider taking the time to change their perspective on life and pick up one or all of these books!!!!!

Another Great Post by Guest Blogger

2009-08-31T04:07:00.000-07:00

Okay - I know it probably seems lately like I should name this blog - Heidi's blog but she has posted some really good messages that I really love. Her comittment to adoption and her passion sound as strong as my own! I too get the questions about what did adopting do to "My Kids"? I love her response! I feel the same - that it has so richly blessed our whole family. I hope if you are struggling with this question - the answers below will encourage you!

A Greater Capacity by Heidi Weimer
Every day I receive emails from potential adoptive parents and post-adoptive families asking for advice, support, feedback, direction, and information regarding adoption. It thrills us to be able to point people in the right direction, advise families in the process, and pray for those who are preparing to live out James 1:27. This is the ministry God has given to us, and we are stoked. Our vision is to serve as full-time adoption advocates, and we are making real steps in that direction. Soon we will be operating through our We Have Room web site, which will act as a resource for those stepping into the adoption world, those who are just getting their feet wet, and those who are swimming in the post-adoption sea, sometimes raging and sometimes of glee. We feel honored to be able to be used even in just a small way and to let others know, "Hey, we've been there."

One email that I receive a few times every week sounds a little something like this: "Heidi and Kirk, Your story has been very encouraging to us, as we also feel led to adopt older kids or a sibling group, but I am just very scared of what it might do to our family, how it will affect our current kids, and what kind of short- and long-term implications it might have. Can you tell me how your biological kids adjusted to being knocked out of their birth order? How did your oldest feel about no longer being the oldest? I'm afraid I'm going to be taking away from them something that is legitimately theirs and I'm scared of what that will do to their emotions/personality/self-worth/security/what-have-you. I'm afraid they will feel ripped off."

To each and every person reading this post who knows the concrete conviction of being called to care for the older orphans yet also bears the weight of the accompanying thoughts of fear, I want you to know this...Please hear me loud and clear, as we have now SIX times over displaced our "original" kids' birth order:

You are NOT taking anything AWAY from your birth children. Instead, what you are doing is imparting to them something eternal: You are expanding their capacity to love. Think about that for a minute before you read anything else. How do you plan to teach your child to love others unconditionally and in total compassion without giving them the opportunity to do so? I'm telling you now, You CAN'T.

My biological children have a greater capacity of love in their hearts than I could ever impart to them by just giving them a safe Christianity, by maintaining their status quo, by simply modeling "godliness" as parents (as if that's the end-all be-all for a Christian family). My kids...all of them...have lived out self-sacrifice and understand (because they live it!) that laying down one's life does not steal anything from us. That is the lie of the devil, who would have us believe that sacrifice is not worth it; that there is nothing for us in return; that God doesn't really mean what He says when He said to His followers that "anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. [Because] Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:38-39).

Do you really believe that? That whoever LOSES his life for Jesus's sake, for Jesus the Orphan's sake, will actually FIND it? Ask yourself honestly. Because you might answer YES prematurely. I have no doubt that you might believe it for yourself, but do you really believe it for your children, too? That if they "lose" their "place" in the family that Jesus will instead impart to them LIFE? REAL life???

What is birth order anyway but just a sequence of how your child came to you? Let's not make an idol of that sequence. Because that's what it becomes...an IDOL. Something standing in the way of you taking up the Cross to follow Him, to BE JESUS in this world. Let's not place a value on birth order that God did not intend to be there.

Consider the older orphan. Consider the sibling groups. Consider the ones who are not often considered.

And whatever you do on your adoption journey, PLEASE I beg you, do NOT steal from your children the opportunity for their love capacity to be expanded. Do not deny them the true gift of learning early in life that "My life is not my own."

When your feisty and spunky 7-year-old biological daughter, who is now the middle child of 9 after being knocked down to #5 from #2, pleads "Please, Mommy, Please!!! I want another sister my age!!! Can we PLEASE adopt again?!!," your heart will beat out of your chest, not just because you can envision another child saved, but because you know that your daughter will NEVER EVER live a limited, safe Christianity. She won't even know what that means. In fact, she won't even have the capacity do so.

And all because you didn't limit her, either. You didn't limit God.

Give your children the gift of the greater capacity to love. Let it ripple out into the future. Let it change the world.

Did you hear the loud scream?

2009-08-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

It was about 5:55pm today and it was a loud scream of joy! I got mine and Julie's dossier shipped off complete except for USCIS!

It was an all day chase to get homestudy and docs from our homestudy agency.

From there had to go to USCIS and got lost had to call Tom Uhrig (thanks Tom!) to get me there to drop off our I600-A.

Then on to State Police to pick up limited criminal history reports that I caught before they mailed them and then over to Secretary of State to get it all apostilled. Met some nice families adopting from Africa!

After that went to pick up Julie's marriage certs from Plainfield then home to seperate it and check it (glad I did as there were a couple of documents the Secretary of State had stuck together!) Prayed over it with my family and then to UPS - whew!!!!!

Tiring but it should be winging it to Ukraine by tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There on Thursday - hopefully not stuck in customs!

Pray for safe travel and then for USCIS to quickly process our I600-A's!!!!!!! Now all I can do is wait - and pray! I am ready to bring our boy home!!!! And I know alot of other families anxious to bring home their children too! Tonight I pray for all the children who are waiting and all the families preparing to go!

How Can We Not? (adapted from a post by Heidi Weimer)

2009-08-24T05:14:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled to announce that my husband and I have just begun the process to adopt the 11yo boy I wrote about earlier in my blog, "V". If things go as hoped, we hope to have him home by Christmas! It is amazing to think that we will have 5 children ages 8-11 and a grand total of 7 children!!! In light of this - we are sure to get the questions....

WHY? Why would we adopt one more child, considering we now have 6 children? Why would we do this? Haven't we done enough (considering we have adopted 3 already)? Why devote our lives to this "cause" (if you can truly even call it that).

Here's why:

Because we believe that this life is not our own.

Because we believe that in the end, it won't matter what career ladders we climbed or financial investments we made or what gadgets we could afford. It will matter that 4 children's lives were saved.

Because we have seen hopelessness firsthand in Ukraine and elsewhere, but believe in all hope that each child is a child of God.

Because we believe that the orphaned child is no less valuable to the Creator than the polished child in a suburban neighborhood here in America.

Because we see nothing more worthy of our focus, time, resources, and lives.

Because injustice is a wrong worth righting.

Because the orphaned child is still a child.

Because we know that, while adoption is not the solution in and of itself to the orphan crisis 143 million times over, we have seen with our own lives how it rescues the lives of those who can be adopted.

Because we believe that Jesus died for redemption, not just for eternity, but for our lives on this planet and we believe we can be vessels of that redemption for children's lives here.

Because we know that, if it were our own flesh and blood, we would want someone to love them and call them family, too.

Because we believe that adopting a child is the closest thing to resembling what God did for us by adopting us in to His family.

Because, really, these kids are no different from your own. Not at all.

Because it's just not okay with us to say no to a child who needs a home when we have one.

Because it's just not okay with us to say no to a child who needs a family when we have one.

Because it's just not okay with us to say no to a child who needs love to thrive when we have that love to give.

Because it's just not okay with us to do nothing.

Because it won't be okay with them if we do nothing.

Because it's just not going to be okay to do nothing.

"Rescue the perishing; don't hesitate to step in and help. If you say, "Hey, that's none of my business," [i.e. "that's not for me"] will that get you off the hook? Someone is watching you closely, you know— Someone not impressed with weak excuses." -Proverbs 24:12 (The Message)

"Once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

Quote on adopted children

2009-08-17T04:34:00.000-07:00

"Many of our children come with “junk” that is
a byproduct of a past which can never fully be
known or understood . . . In the face of this it is
important to remember, and to remind our children
often, that there is a purpose for their lives, even as
we consistently offer them the love, grace, protection
and discipline they need to help them grow
and thrive."
by Michael Monroe
Michael and his wife Amy, lead Tapestry, the adoption and foster care ministry
at Irving Bible Church in Irving, TX.

Powerful Message by guest blogger Heidi Weimer

2009-08-14T05:15:00.000-07:00

As I read the message below - it resonated deep within me. Heidi is speaking about the very foundation of which I have based my ministry on the past 8 years and why I work in the field that I do - ADOPTION. It is not to profit off of the needy but a driving passion that I was seemingly not able to accomplish in any other way but something so big in me that I could not rest or keep silent and what motivates me daily (also why I could talk about it endlessly and do! :) - I hope as you read this it will both convict you and encourage you. I pray that God speaks to your heart as you read this:

I wish I could tell you... by Heidi Weimer

I wish I could tell you that the sacrificial life of following after Jesus and being His actual hands and feet on this Planet Earth would bring rewards on this planet. But I can't. Because it probably won't.

I wish I could tell you that if you take in an orphan and love that child as your own flesh and blood, that you will be blessed in this life in more ways than just spiritual. But I can't. Because you might not be.

I wish I could tell you that it's easy to adopt. That it's effortless and glamorous and always beautiful. But I can't. Because it isn't.

I wish I could tell you that it's easy after you adopt. But I can't. Because it's tougher than tough some days.

I wish I could tell you that this life of sacrifice is painless and prosperous. But I can't. Because it's often painful and rarely prosperous in the earthly.

I wish I could tell you all of those warm and comforting platitudes, but I can't. Because they're not true.

What I CAN tell you, though, is that this life is not your own. So none of the above matter anyway.

When I stepped off of the cliff in full recognition of that reality, I have had no control over my life since. Yes, I have choices. I realize that I chose this road. I said yes to this calling. I agreed to take in 6 kids that I did not have to call my own. But once I said yes the first time, I could never say no after. Once I took Jesus seriously, Jesus took me seriously. I was wrecked for Him and for this life and could never tell Him no. Never again. If I say no to a child who needs me, I'm saying no to the Child Jesus. If I say no to an abandoned baby who needs me, I'm saying no to Baby Jesus. If I say no to a sibling group who needs a family, I'm saying no to Jesus and his brothers and sisters. Think I'm exaggerating?

Matthew 25:44-46 (The Message)
44"Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'

45"He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.'

46"Then those 'goats' will be herded to their eternal doom, but the 'sheep' to their eternal reward."

I mean, it doesn't get more blatant than that. But alas there it is for us so-called Jesus followers.

And, here's a little warning: Once you utter that initial walking-off-the-cliff YES to Him, it doesn't get any easier. In fact, it gets more painful and far more difficult. Saying YES the first time was the easy part for us, even though that certainly was not easy. Because--the fact is--every single day I see the reality of my choice to say YES to Jesus in need. I see the white picket fences, the new cars, the private schools, the suburban "dream," the picture perfect families. I see that. I know what I'm saying no to. I am fully aware that I had a choice to embrace "that" life, but that I chose to embrace His instead.

It's often painful. Usually not easy. Typically lonely. Generally overwhelming. But I know that this life is not my own. The reward for me is most likely not on this planet. In fact, it most certainly isn't. Most probably I will never live in a fat house (by American standards) and drive a fancy car and have any spare cash to sit on. I realize that. I know that. And I also know that I could have sought those things for myself and could have had them. I absolutely know that that life is within my reach. Every time I encounter someone who has embraced fulfillment in the temporary, I am reminded like a big banner (or a slap in the face) that I chose this road instead. And every time I am reminded, I hear God asking me (practically audibly sometimes), "So, you still want to follow the narrow road?" [YES, Lord. Here am I. Send me.]

Loving the fatherless. Loving the abandoned. Loving the seemingly hopeless. The narrow road requires sacrifice.The narrow road. It's lonely. It's long. It's difficult. It's full of suffering and struggle and sacrifice. But isn't that what following our Jesus is all about? If you're following a Jesus that doesn't demand sacrifice of all earthly endeavors, than I don't know what Jesus you're following. Didn't Jesus, after all, sacrifice all earthly endeavors for us? What did He sacrifice so that He could love YOU? How much more, then, should we sacrifice in order to love Him? And if loving HIM means loving the unlovely and the unloved, then what does it mean if we live in comfort while the unloved go on unloved? While the orphaned stay orphaned? While the street kids still roam the streets?

I don't know how we can really claim to love Jesus if we don't love Jesus the Street Child. If we don't love Jesus the Orphan. Jesus the Prostitute. Jesus the Abandoned.

But what does it mean to LOVE Jesus the Orphan? What does it mean to love Jesus the Abandoned? It means that you do for Jesus the Orphan what you would want done to your own child.

Matthew 7:12 (New International Version)
12So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

In a world that seems so complicated and chaotic, it really is as simple as that. It's what led me to see my own children in the faces of Ethiopia's orphans in the first place. It's what led me to say yes to children who simply needed a family. Who needed me. Who needed someone to see Jesus the Orphan in them.

Matthew 16:23-25 (The Message)
23But Jesus didn't swerve. "Peter, get out of my way. Satan, get lost. You have no idea how God works."

24-26Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?

Matthew 16:23-25 (New International Version)

23Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."

24Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

Where is your cross? What is your suffering? Go seek out Jesus the Orphan. You'll find your cross and suffering there. And there you will finally find Jesus. The One you did not see before and the One you did not know to love.

And then and only then, Great Will Be Your Reward. I can't count on much, but I can count on that.

Luke 6:34-36 (New International Version)
34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons and daughters of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Luke 6:34-36 (The Message)
31-34"Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that's charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.

35-36"I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You'll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

I know my family is not the so-called American Dream. I know that having 9 kids is certainly not the goal for most sane and ordinary people. I know that having a multi-racial family can really mar some people's plans for a supposedly picture-perfect family. But so what? This life is not your own. Don't live a lie believing that it is. Whose plans are those, anyway, for the picture-perfect home? the picture-perfect family? the American dream? I don't remember Jesus standing on the mountainside preaching in favor of any of those, so whatever you do, make sure your plans aren't just that...YOUR plans.

My life is not my own. And if you claim to follow Jesus, your life is not yours, either.

Galatians 2:20 (New International Version)
20I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Go. Leave behind the life you planned. SEEK OUT the orphan. Don't ask God one more time if He wants you to adopt. Because...HE'S been asking YOU, who WILL?

1 John 3:17 (The Message)
16-17This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.

THE BLIND SIDE - the movie, an inspirational story of adoption

2009-08-11T16:43:00.000-07:00

I just watched the trailer for the movie THE BLIND SIDE. You can watch the trailer to the movie at www.theblindsidemovie.com The trailer alone almost made me cry - I can't imagine the full effect of the movie! Finally an inspirational story on adoption!

“The Blind Side” is a true story about Michael Oher, a homeless African-American youngster from a broken home, adopted by the Touhy family, a rich white family. Oher was a 1st Round draft pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, by the Baltimore Ravens.

I loved at the end of the trailer how a woman told Mrs. Touhy (played by Sandra Bullock) that she changed Michael's life and Mrs. Touhy responded "He changed mine."

I can't wait to see it! Make sure you check out the trailer!!!!!!

The Good Wait by guest blogger

2009-08-04T06:39:00.000-07:00

The Good Wait
Scott McClellan posted this in Facts & Statistics & Myths & Realities & Resources & Stories on Monday, April 20, 2009

This is the first post in our new series, The Reality of Adoption: Confronting Common Myths. To read Michael Monroe’s overview of the series, click here.

The Myth: It takes years to adopt.

The Reality: Not necessarily.

Every adoption process is unique, from the timeline to the hidden challenges to the surprising joys. In regard to timeline, it’s true that some adoption processes take years to complete. Currently, the wait for an adoption through China is around four years. But that wasn’t the case a few years ago and it may not be the case a few years from now. And there are several countries, Ethiopia for example, for which the wait is nowhere near that long (assuming you can get your paperwork and finances together quickly).

Like international adoption, domestic adoption doesn’t operate under a single timeline. Private adoption, agency adoption, and adopting through the foster system are all different processes that move at different speeds. Even choices such as the agency you use and the desired demographics of the child you hope to adopt can affect your timeline. As a result, it’s inaccurate to characterize adoption in general as taking a certain amount of time. If you’re interested in adoption and the length of wait is an important factor for you, research all of your options. For international adoption, talk with multiple agencies about timelines for the different programs they offer. For domestic adoption, talk with agencies and other organizations about timelines for the various domestic channels. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find a timeline you’re comfortable with.
As my wife and I explored the international adoption process, we knew that certain countries were off the table for us because of timeline. To us, timeline was just as important a factor as cost, travel requirement, and the age of available children. When we finally chose Vietnam, we did so because we were comfortable with everything that would be required of us as a waiting family (or so we thought).

Once you begin your process and your wait, the key becomes “waiting well.” Assuming that you’re taking care of whatever responsibilities you have for keeping the process moving, the rest is out of your hands. Most of us like to be in control of our situation, and the adoption wait regularly clashes with that desire. It’s difficult to let go, trust that God is guiding your journey, and wait, but that’s what waiting well requires. Waiting well means using the time leading up to our placement (whether it be weeks, months, or years) to prepare ourselves as best we can physically, mentally, spiritually, experientially, relationally, and financially for the child that is coming into our home.

At first, letting go during our wait was difficult for me and my wife because we were so excited and eager to become adoptive parents. Letting go became even more difficult when diplomatic strife between the US and Vietnam threatened to end our process before we were even matched to a child. We spent several months not knowing if we’d get to adopt from Vietnam before the country closed US adoptions, and it was agony. However, during that time we got involved where appropriate by writing letters to the State Department and did our best to find peace in the midst of our uncertainty. Despite the emotional toll of the waiting game, we tried to prepare ourselves for the different possible outcomes we were facing.

Through that time, we discovered the incomparable value of waiting well by taking very practical steps toward getting ready for an adoption placement. These steps made a huge difference in the quality of our wait, and I hope they’ll make a difference for you, too:

•Read about adoption and child development.
•Connect with other adoptive families and learn from their journeys.
•Educate your friends and family about the adoption process and what they should expect after your child comes home.
•Pray for guidance and strength as you strive to make the most of your wait.
In the end, the adoption journey doesn’t end with a placement. As you and your child grow together, you’ll find that the miracle of adoption has only begun to unfold in your life and you’ll realize that your wait, however long it may have lasted, was worth it.

Amazing Love....

2009-07-27T09:51:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we arrived at the beach in Panama City - it was absolutely amazing! The size and the awe of it is breathtaking. I took alot of time to reflect and to pray as I stared out at the ocean.

One thing that came to mind last night as I sat on the roof top deck, gazing at the stars, hearing the waves beat against the shore, and feeling the breeze on my face is how relaxing it was. I thought back to a time when I used to say my theme song was the Alabama song "I'm in a hurry to get things done, I rush and rush until life's no fun...." and I thought about what song I would chose today...as I thought about it the song "Amazing Love" came to mind.

Today I am so mindful of God's amazing love and as I sat on the beach and watched 6 former orphans laugh, run, play and dance in the water - I was overwhelmed by it. I wish that everyone could visibly see the evidence of God's amazing love. I knew without a doubt in my mind that God was smiling as He watched the girl's play in the ocean He created. I know He delighted in watching them laugh and dance in the water. Knowing that brought me great joy and thankfully my sunglasses hid the tears of happiness that streamed down my face.

I am so thankful for God's amazing love.

Enjoy these lyrics and reflect on how much God loves you.

Amazing Love by Hillsong United
I'm forgiven, because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well, you're spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again

I'm forgiven, because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well, you're spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again

Amazing love, how can it be
That you my king would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
It's my joy to honor you
Amazing love, how can it be
That you My king would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
It's my joy to honor you
In all I do I honor you

I'm forgiven, because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well, you're spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again

Crazy Love (Overwhelmed By A Relentless GOD) by Francis Chan

2009-07-21T16:54:00.000-07:00

This is a wonderful book!!!! It had me squirming in my seat and inspiring me to do more all at the same time! I want to read it with my family this next week while on vacation and I pray that it inspires us all to be more crazy for God!!!!!!

For a short time there is a FREE download of the audio book at http://christianaudio.com/free_download.php

I really hope you take the time to download it and I pray that it inspires you and blesses you! Be sure to pass it on - there is only a few days left!

Beautiful Children's book that made me cry...

2009-07-17T06:15:00.000-07:00

I was reading "SHAOEY AND DOT" by Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman one day (during the time I was waiting to adopt my two Ukrainian daughters) and the words in the book shook me to my core. I was so devastated I had to stop reading the book and get myself together before finishing it. Those are the words that drive me to want every child to have a mother (and father).

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the book - it is a story created about the Chapman's first adopted daughter from China (Shaohannah or Shaoey for short) and is told by a ladybug (Dot). Below are the words that brought my tears:

On their way to the place where the family was waiting Dot thought she should try to explain. "Well this is the day," she said to her friend. "Everything's getting ready to change.

"See, I've waited till now to tell you this story. It's about all the reasons you cry. Sometimes it's because you feel sick, tired, or hungry, And sometimes you just want your pants dry."

"But, then, there's a cry that's the saddest of all. In fact, it's unlike any other. It comes from a deep, empty place in your heart that can only be filled by a mother."

These words reached deep inside me - I love my children so much, I can't begin to imagine how it must feel to a child to not have a mother's (or father's) love. It is that love I have for my children that drives me so much to want that for other children.

When I came to understand that God loved me as a father - that was so impacting to me. I was a parent and could relate to how much I loved my children and realized - WOW - God loves me like that and more....

I want children all over the world to have that love, and security from an earthly family - but even more to have that same love and security for eternity. I pray that God continues to raise up Christian's to care for the orphan - to get the message out for the sake of the children. Not only do these children have a deep empty place in their heart that can only be filled by a mother - but they have a bigger empty place in their heart that only a (Heavenly) FATHER can fill....

What Every Child Deserves - Unfailing Love by Guest Blogger

2009-07-16T08:17:00.000-07:00

Steppin' Heavenward

But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me. Psalm 13:5~6
Friday, March 28, 2008
Psalm 68:6~

God sets the lonely in families Psalm 68:6

The following is written by Erin Henderson HIV Adoption Coordinator for AAI and mother to 11 children. She and her husband have children from Vietnam, Korea, the U.S. and Ethiopia and have adopted two HIV+ children from AHOPE through AAI.

She has expressed so well why we too believe in adoption. At each orphanage I visited in Ethiopia I had children ask me to be their mother..or to find them a family. If you have ever had this experience it is not something you ever forget. Those eyes asking for you to "Please, choose me." will be brought into the remembrance of your heart and mind time and again.

There are those who oppose International Adoption and proclaim the loss of the culture a tragedy, I say the greater tragedy is a child growing up without a family to love ..and be loved by.

I have been thinking a lot about kids lately... kids who don't have moms (and dads)... kids waiting for moms, and what life is like for kids who do not have parents. I have been thinking about the transformation that occurs when a child realizes he has a mom, a dad, a family...security, love and somewhere to belong.

With some of our kids, that "realization" that they have a Mom and a family, that they have someone to belong to, someone to watch over them, someone to care for them and someone to love them, has been gradual. With some of our kids, there has been this "a ha!" moment, where you could just see that they "got it".

There was baby Maggie... almost four months old... laying on the bed in our hotel in Vietnam on our first full day together (I had been visiting her for days at the hospital before this point). Before her hospitalization she had lived in a government orphanage where the babies had their names written on their legs in black magic marker so they could be told apart, and got very very little personal attention. She didn't cry when she was hungry or when she wanted something. She was quiet and tiny, but I could tell she loved being held and loved the attention I was giving her.

I walked away from the bed where she was laying to get a bottle for her, and she made this teeny tiny pitiful (feeble attempt at a) cry, and I rushed over and picked her up and offered her the bottle. She got this look of amazement on her face with a little smile that seemed to say, "Holy cow! You mean that crying thing WORKS with you??" and after that she did not want anyone but me and always wanted me close. She got it. I was there for her. I was her mom.

With Mercy, she was nine years old. She had had a mom before, who did not value or respect her role as a mom. Mercy knew neglect and abuse and loss. Despite that, she came to us with an open heart and a surprising amount of trust. At one point during our first week, Des needed her hair washed (and Mercy had been the one to care for Des up until that point, even though she was only three years older). Mercy told Des to go into the bathroom so she could wash her hair, and I gently told Mercy that I could wash Des's hair, and reminded her that that was the kind of thing a Mom should do. The social worker had warned us that "letting go" of being the caregiver of Des might be hard for Mercy and we might have some power struggles over it... but Mercy looked at me and looked at Des and looked back at me and said, "You wash all the other little kids... You would wash Des's hair too?" and I said, "Yes". And she said, "And then what would I do?" and I said, "Well, you could go play." And she looked at Des again and then back at me, and then she got this huge smile on her face, and you could almost SEE her letting go of the responsibility of caring for her little sister. She ran over and gave me a hug, and then took off to play. She got it. I was there for her and for her sister. I was their mom.

With Solomon, that moment came when we left AHOPE for the second time together. We had spent two days together, and then we had gone back to AHOPE to visit. As we walked through the gate and the kids called out his name and came running to say hi to him, he sat in my arms with huge, silent tears running down his cheeks. He would not make eye contact with anyone (including me, the kids and the nannies) and just stared ahead with this heartbreaking acceptance of the fact that he thought he was being left. Again. It hurt me so much that he had come to accept this from life... that nice people came and went, but he did not truly belong to any of them. I couldn't imagine how his little heart felt and how he had endured all that he had already. I comforted him and held him close and told him over and over again in his ear that I would never, never, never leave him.

He started to relax a little the longer we were there and I stayed with him, but he was not his usual self. And then it happened. I put him in the sling, we waved good-bye, went back out through the gate and headed back up the road towards the hotel for some lunch. He got this HUGE grin on his face, and was bouncing up and down in the sling laughing, and then grabbing my face and kissing it over and over as we walked. He was so happy and joyful. He got it. He was not going to be left again. I was HIS. He was mine. I was his Mom.

Since then I have watched him blossom with love. I have watched him learn how to expect and look forward to being held often, comforted when he cries, rocked to sleep, having his needs met, getting individual attention and being smothered in hugs and kisses often. As I crawled into bed last night, a few hours after I had put him down to sleep, his little body turned towards me, and without waking up, he put his arm on me, snuggled in close and let out a content sigh.

All kids deserve that knowledge, that peace and that comfort. All kids deserve to know that they are loved and that they belong to someone.

I believe with all my heart that our Heavenly Father did not send us down here to go at life alone, to worry about ourselves and to focus our lives on material and trivial things. I believe with all my heart that we are meant to live in families... mothers, fathers and children together, focusing our lives on loving, enjoying and serving each other.
We have several reasons to believe that Solomon most likely spent very little (if any) time with his first mother. And yet even after multiple changes in caregivers and "homes", multiple losses and lots of suffering without a mom to comfort him, he KNEW what a Mom was for from our very first days together. His heart and soul reached out to mine and grabbed on firmly. He knew that he wanted a mom. He knew that hugs, kisses and rock-a-byes were something he wanted, deserved and needed. The other kids we met in Ethiopia knew it too. They knew that they belonged with parents. They knew that something big was missing from their lives.

My heart rejoices for my kids and others that have had their lives changed so drastically...who were once alone, and now live with love, security and family. Watching Solomon over the past few weeks has reminded me of what an incredible miracle adoption is.

And at the same time, my heart aches for the so very many kids who are living life alone right now. . Even the very best orphanage is no comparison to a home and family. It is wrong that these kids must wait and yearn for a family. They deserve, as all children do, the peace and security that comes with the knowledge of knowing that they belong to someone, that they are being cared for and that they are loved.

This is why I support adoption...because I have seen the sadness in the eyes of the children who wait for moms, I have seen the amazing transformation in children once they have been "claimed" and loved, and because I believe, with all my heart, that that love and belonging is what our lives on this Earth are supposed to be about.

From Dreams to Reality

2009-07-07T05:15:00.000-07:00

Today is a hard day. I will watch as 13 children prepare to go back to their orphanage, I will see them fight for composure, some will have stone faces as my Katelyn did, and some will cry and cling to their family. Families will struggle with the emotions,trying to hold it together until the children are out of sight. That in itself is hard enough - but today I will put a child that is close to my heart on that airplane and back to a life in the orphanage, not knowing what his future holds and that is the hard part.

Our little guy, V, said that being here was like a dream that he could have never imagined. My heart breaks as I have to send him back to reality. The reality of feeling like no one special, of being picked on by the older kids and made fun of. I hope while he was here, he felt the love of Jesus. I tried to love him as my own, and I did with all of my heart. I want him to know that there is someone in this world that loves him and cares for him.

Last night we were not able to maintain our emotions. I was packing V's suitcase and put in his blanket we gave him. I began to think about him being cold and having no one to snuggle with - which he loves. About being sick like he was yesterday and having no one to hold him. And I went to my bathroom and sobbed, crying out to God. Then my 4 girls came in and tried to comfort me and they too began to cry. Their hearts are broken for this precious boy. They have been so good to him - and all of them love him and want him to stay. I can't imagine what today will be like.

When V saw us crying - he was hugging all of us and trying to comfort us, telling us - "It's okay, It's okay." Quite honestly it isn't. I don't know that my heart will ever get over having to send him back and not knowing if he will have a family. At church Sunday, I was praying for him and couldn't stop crying. The one's that were comforting me were the kids that I had helped find families. The irony that I was being comforted by ones that I helped and that I was crying over one that I had not helped only made me cry more.

I am washing the last of his clothes and as I put them in the laundry I wondered if he would get to keep any of the clothes that the girls and I so lovingly picked out. Or keep any of the gifts that we gave him and he delighted in - or would they all be stripped away by older boys? For a moment I clung to the fact that he would have the love we gave him and he would be able to hold on to that - but then it hit me, HOW LONG UNTIL THAT IS STRIPPED AWAY? How long will he feel our love before the reality strips it all away? At what point will he stop feeling our love? At what point does the pain erase it all?

For now - all I can do is to love him and continue to offer him up to God. I know that God loves him even more than I do. I pray that God keeps him safe and protects him from all the hardness of this world. I hope he always has a song to sing. a hug to give and a smile on his face, as we know him. With a heart that is broken, I will pray..........trusting God for his life and praying that he will find the dream again.

Response to the opportunity to adopt children from the USA.

2009-07-03T06:54:00.000-07:00

Today I received an email with the message below about the opportunity to adopt children here in Indiana. As families begin to share that they are adopting from Ukraine (or other countries), they will inevitably hear the well meaning information about children available in Indiana or in the USA. Funny thing is, it almost always comes from someone that has never adopted or considered adopting from anywhere. My response is below.
Our friend Karen is a child advocate/ attorney thru the State. She shares some info about adoption many of us may not know. I am sure she would be happy to point any interested in the right direction. Thanks Karen! ( this is a reply from the earlier one about the kids from the Ukraine who are being hosted)

Please remember that there are many children in Indiana who are wards of the State and need adopting. There is no cost, and there is training, and often there is adoption assistance for the legal expenses and per diem.
Karen B of FMCC

My thoughts are that God leads us to where our children are - just as He takes missionaries all over the world and there are obviously needy and unsaved people here. As for the money - it is all God's and if He chooses we pay a ransom for the lives of these children - then He will provide. All children, all over the world are equally deserving of a family - as Christians we trust God to lead us to them.

AFFORDING ADOPTION - guest blogger

2009-06-30T07:28:00.001-07:00

Affording Adoption in a Tough Economy
By Johnston Moore

It is no secret that the United States and most of the rest of the world are experiencing difficult times economically. Unemployment is rising, layoffs are increasing, people are taking salary cuts, spending freezes are in effect, people are cutting back wherever they can, and even doing without when necessary.

Of course, the Christian community has also been hit by economic woes, and many of our brothers and sisters are putting things on hold until times are more stable. What will this mean for those whom God is calling to adopt? Given the cost of private domestic and international adoptions, how can people afford to adopt through these channels in such tough economic times?

We asked our friends at three outstanding organizations that provide financial help for adoptive families to weigh in on the issue. With their help we’ve come up with three important steps people can take in affording adoption in these times: trust, ask, and be creative.

Trust
It is so important to never lose sight of the fact that God is in charge and that we can trust Him, regardless of what our bank statements and paychecks say.

“First and foremost – God is still Jehovah-Jireh (the Lord Provides),” says Andy Lehman of Lifesong for Orphans (LifesongForOrphans.org), which helps couples adopt through matching funds, interest free loans, and by helping churches start adoption funds. “If God calls you to adopt, be confident He will provide the financial means to adopt while still following Biblical guidelines for handling money.”

Many Christians are indeed putting their faith in God and moving forward with adoption plans in spite of the economy, though they seem to be looking for more outside help in financing their adoptions. “We are seeing a significant increase in the number of adoption assistance applications each month since the fall of 2008,” says Scott Hasenbalg of Show Hope (ShowHope.org), which helps Christians adopt through grants and by helping churches start adoption funds. “From my perspective, the good news is that people are putting their faith in God, not in the economy.…I am thrilled to see believers not letting finances stand in the way of their adoptions.”

Ask
Though times are difficult, funds are still available through grants and interest-free loans. Adoptive couples should continue to apply for these funds through some of the wonderful ministries that have them, regardless of the tightening economy.

Wendy Cosby of Show Hope says that it is important to encourage believers to help fund adoptions. “What better thing can you continue to give to during the hard times than helping an orphan to be placed in a loving, Christian home….something that has eternal implications.”

Andy is confident the body of Christ will rise to the occasion and help those called to adopt, even in lean times. “Many are giving generously and sacrificially to help fund adoption grants, matching grants, interest-free loans, and provide seed money for Church Adoption Funds.”

In addition to applying for funds from existing organizations, do not be shy to ask others for help. It is not unusual to receive letters requesting financial support for missionaries. Adopting a child is a missional act, and we should not hesitate to ask others to share the cost with us.

Be Creative
Scott says that the difficult economic times have led people to think a little more outside the box in figuring out how to fund their adoptions. “We are seeing more creativity from individuals who are reaching out to their community of friends and family, from traditional yard and bake sales to sending baby bottles to friends and asking them to fill them with coins or dollar bills.”

Other creative ways to help fund your adoption might include:

· A fund-raising dinner in your church

· A benefit concert

· A raffle

The truth is that if God is calling you to adopt, as Andy said, He will provide the means for you to afford it. The key is to trust, ask, and be creative, and you will be amazed to see what God does.

Jason Kovacs, of the ABBA Fund (AbbaFund.org), which helps adoptive parents through interest-free loans and by assisting churches in starting adoption funds, sees a great opportunity to witness to the world of God’s provision and priorities. “I think we are living in an economic time when the world will say it is unwise to attempt to adopt because it costs so much. From God's perspective, this is the perfect time for Him to show that He is mighty and able to provide for His people. Many folks get this and are stepping out in faith. And many of their friends and family and churches are not listening to the world and are coming alongside and helping with donations and support. We can praise God for that.”

An Amazing Accomplishment!!!

2009-06-30T07:19:00.000-07:00

Today the Southern Baptist Convention (the largest protestant denomination) passed the resolution below (presented by Dr. Russell Moore) on adoption and orphan care! This has huge potential for the sake of the fatherless! Pray that an adoption culture will take root and spread in the churches represented by the SBC. I can’t wait to see what God has in store!

“On Adoption and Orphan Care”

WHEREAS, in the gospel we have received the “Spirit of adoption” whereby we are no longer spiritual orphans but are now beloved children of God and joint heirs with Christ
(John 14:18; Rom. 8:12-25; Gal. 3:27-4:9; Eph. 1:5); and

WHEREAS, the God we now know as our Father reveals himself as a “father of the fatherless” (Ps. 68:5) who grants mercy to orphans (Deut. 10:18; Hos. 14:3); and

WHEREAS, our Lord Jesus welcomes the little ones (Luke 18:15-17), pleads for the lives of the innocent (Ps. 72:12-14), and shows us that we will be held accountable for our response to “the least of these my brethren” (Matt. 25:40); and

WHEREAS, the Scripture defines “pure and undefiled religion” as “to visit orphans and widows in their trouble” (Jas. 1:27); and

WHEREAS, the satanic powers have warred against infants and children from Pharaoh to Moloch to Herod and, now, through the horrors of a divorce culture, an abortion industry, and the global plagues of disease, starvation, and warfare; and

WHEREAS, Southern Baptists have articulated an unequivocal commitment to the sanctity of all human life, born and unborn; and

WHEREAS, a denomination of churches defined by the Great Commission must be concerned for the evangelism of children—including those who have no parents; and

WHEREAS, upward of 150 million orphans now languish without families in orphanages, group homes, and placement systems in North America and around the world; and

WHEREAS, our Father loves all of these children, and a great multitude of them will never otherwise hear the gospel of Jesus Christ; therefore, be it

RESOLVED, that the messengers to the Southern Baptist Convention meeting in Louisville, Kentucky, June 23-24, 2009, express our commitment as a denomination of churches to join our Father in seeking mercy for orphans; and be it further

RESOLVED, that we call on each Southern Baptist family to pray for guidance as to whether God is calling them to adopt or foster a child or children; and be it further

RESOLVED, that we encourage our pastors and church leaders to preach and teach on God’s concern for orphans; and be it further

RESOLVED, that we commend churches and ministries that are equipping families to provide financial and other resources to those called to adopt, through grants, matching funds, or loans; and be it further

RESOLVED, that we ask our International Mission Board and North American Mission Board to prioritize the evangelism of and ministry to orphans around the world, and to seek out ways to energize Southern Baptists behind this mission; and be it further

RESOLVED, that we encourage Southern Baptist churches to join with other evangelical Christians in recognizing November 8, 2009, as “Orphan Sunday,” focusing that day on our adoption in Christ and our common burden for the orphans of the world; and be it further

RESOLVED, that we hope what God is doing in creating an adoption culture in so many churches and families can point us to a gospel oneness that is defined not by “the flesh” racial, economic, or cultural sameness but by the Spirit unity and peace in Christ Jesus; and be it finally

RESOLVED, that we pray for an outpouring of God’s Spirit on Southern Baptist congregations so that our churches increasingly will announce and picture, in word and in deed, that “Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world.”

SBC messengers enthusiastically support Moore’s resolution on adoption
by Jeff Robinson on June 25th, 2009
in News
Messengers at the 2009 annual meeting of The Southern Baptist Convention in Louisville on Wednesday overwhelmingly passed a resolution proposed by Russell D. Moore promoting adoption and orphan care.

The resolution encouraged every Southern Baptist family to pray about whether God wants them to adopt or provide foster care for a child or children. It also called on Southern Baptist and other evangelical churches to devote a Sunday each year to emphasize “our adoption in Christ and our common burden for the orphans of the world.”

Moore, who serves as senior vice president for academic administration and dean of the School of Theology at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, knows well of which he proposed; Moore and his wife Maria adopted two sons from a Russian orphanage a few years ago.

Moore hopes the resolution will provoke deep thinking that leads to action among Southern Baptists regarding the Gospel significance of adoption and orphan care; all who are saved by God’s grace were once orphans who were adopted into the Kingdom of Christ.

The number of adoptions among evangelicals has steadily increased in recent years, yet the need is profound: in the United States alone, more than 500,000 children were in foster care system in 2005, the last year for which federal statistics were available. About 115,000 were waiting for adoption.

“Something is afoot among Christian families and churches of virtually every kind,” Moore said. “God is calling the people of Christ to see the face of Jesus in the faces of orphans in North America and around the world. Southern Baptists have affirmed our belief in the authority of Scripture, and the Bible tells us pure religion is defined by care for the fatherless.

“We’ve been defined by our commitment to evangelism, and there is no greater field as `white unto harvest’ right now as children in orphanages, group homes, and the foster care system, children who don’t know a parent’s love and who don’t know the name of Jesus. When Satan wars against children, we should be the ones who have compassion on them, even as Jesus did and does.

Moore authored a deeply personal and compellingly theological book on adoption that was published in May by Crossway books, “Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches.” In it, Moore argues that the church should view the adoption of orphans as a crucial part of its mission precisely because God has adopted helpless sinners to be His sons.

“The resolution by itself isn’t going to spark an orphan care movement among Southern Baptists,” he said. “Neither is my book, and neither are a thousand manifestoes. Only the Holy Spirit can do that as local churches start to embrace a vision for orphan care.

“The resolution though was meant to prompt some questions. If one messenger in the Convention hall is moved to simply pray, ‘Lord, how would you have me minister to orphans?’ then the resolution is a success, in my view. If one pastor is prompted to ponder how he could preach on adoption, or lead a foster care ministry among his folks, then the work is starting.

During the introduction of the resolution, Moore appeared on stage with Timothy and Benjamin, the sons he and his wife adopted seven years ago. More than 8,000 messengers met the resolution and its unanimous passage with lengthy, enthusiastic applause.

“I was overwhelmed with emotion on the platform to see my sons, two little ex-orphans, looking out on a sea of yellow ballots as thousands of Southern Baptists affirmed that we want to be the people who love fatherless children,” he said.

“I realized that, in an alternative story, my boys would still be in an orphanage, not knowing even the name of Christ Jesus. But here they are, at the Southern Baptist Convention, calling by their very presence the world’s largest Protestant denomination to recognize there are hundreds of thousands of children as helpless and alone as they once were.

“My prayer is that twenty years from now there are thousands of Southern Baptist pastors, missionaries, and church leaders who started their lives as orphans, now preaching the gospel of God their Father.”

I CAME TO YOU AS AN ORPHAN

2009-06-30T06:16:00.000-07:00

I came to you in a time of great need.
You had no place for me.
I came to spend time with you, so that you might know me better
and you were too busy for me.

I came to you as an orphan child in need of love
and you could not be bothered.
What I saw was the real condition of your heart.
I saw that you were unwilling to sacrifice anything of true cost.
You value your comfort above all
and your faith consists of what you can see.
How I long for you to truly trust me.

Time and time again I cry out to you in the guise of someone in need.
Over and over you pray me that you want to know me better.
I present you with the opportunity and you do not recognize me.
Oh, how I long for you to truly understand who I really am.

I am the orphan,
I am the widow,
I am the person you walk by and refuse to look at.
I am the hungry, the oppressed, the sick and the homeless.
It isn't that I can't live without you - it is you that can't live without me.
They exist so that you will know me.
Your response to the need is a reflection of your heart.

Loving God is first, but loving others as you love yourself is next.
Are you willing to love the orphan as you love your own child?
Are you willing to care for others as you would yourself?
Until you understand this, you will always long to know me in a deeper way.
You will never understand joy, until you understand the need.

Bittersweet day

2009-06-17T18:37:00.000-07:00

Today I was watching our little Ukrainian visitor, V, play with my 7yo daughter, Lauren. They were playing in the sprinkler and the blow up pool in our back yard. Both of the children were having a blast - laughing so hard.

As I watched them I began to chuckle and then laugh, and then my laughter turned to tears as I thought about V's future. One child, was an orphan and one child is still an orphan. I tell my kids all the time that life isn't fair - but it me today how much it really isn't.

I know deep down that God loves V as much as he loves Lauren. He wants no less for him than what He wants for her....Tonight V asked to stay up for 5 more minutes to read the Russian Bible that was a gift to my girls. He smiled, kissed the book and began to read. I am not sure what he read but I picked the story that had pictures of children around Jesus. I said that I love Jesus and he smiled and said he did too.

I want so much for this little boy to find a family that will help him to grow up to be the Godly man that God wants him to be. But what can I do? There are so many people that are unwilling to step out in faith to help the children that God loves. The cost - too high, the trip - too long, too....... the list goes on. I love the quote that Tom Davis uses in his book RED LETTERS: Living A Faith That Bleeds. "Sometimes I get discouraged when I think of the magnitude of need in our world and then see how many Christ-followers remain stuck to their chairs. I am heartbroken when I hear the ROARING SILENCE of a church unwilling to speak up for the voiceless masses."

It is a great book and I would highly recommend it. A sad statement about the church. Another observation I have made in the past few years is that it is the people that have the least that are willing to spend the most to help others. Most of my families that I have helped to adopt have an income in the range of $40-75,000. There have been some with higher incomes, but without a doubt the majority have little to spare but are willing. What does that say about us?

So - my point was that today was bittersweet. I had the opportunity to bring joy and laughter to one of the children that God claims as his, watching a former Ukrainian orphan play with present-day Ukrainian orphan. They both laughed and had a great time. Next month, the former orphan will still be tucked in bed by me - but who will listen to the present-day orphan read his bible? Tuck him in to bed, teach him about Jesus?

Please God - let someone....

Very Beautiful Story: Saved - Nikolas's Story

2009-06-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

http://www.irvingbible.org/fileadmin/ibc/ministries/community_care/tapestry/resources/Save_By_Adoption.pdf

Please take the time to read this beautiful story about adoption and "saving" a child.

Quote from Fields of the Fatherless

2009-06-07T08:51:00.000-07:00

"God gave us the responsibility to care for the defenseless to those claiming to be followers of Christ. It is through our hands the Father's love comes, it is through our voices His voice is heard, it is through our efforts and those of the church that His care is revealed to the ones the rest of the world has forgotten."

C Thomas Davis, Fields of the Fatherless

A few things the Bible says about Orphans...

2009-06-07T07:39:00.000-07:00

Psalm 68:5-6a “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…” (NIV)

Psalm 10:14, 17-18 “But you do see the trouble and grief they cause. You take note of it and punish them. The helpless put their trust in you. You are the defender of orphans LORD, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will listen to their cries and comfort them. You will bring justice to the orphans and the oppressed, so people can no longer terrify them.”
Proverbs 23:10-11 “Don't steal the land of defenseless orphans by moving the ancient boundary markers, for their Redeemer is strong. He himself will bring their charges against you.”

Deuteronomy 10:17-19 “For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing. He shows love to the foreigners living among you and gives them food and clothing. And you are to love those who are aliens for you yourselves were aliens in Egypt." (NIV)

Isaiah 1:16-17 “Wash yourselves and be clean! Let me no longer see your evil deeds. Give up your wicked ways. Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the orphan. Fight for the rights of widows.”

James 1:27 “Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us.”

Job 29:12-16 "Whoever heard me spoke well of me, and those who saw me commended me,
because I rescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him.
The man who was dying blessed me; I made the widow's heart sing. I put on righteousness as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban. I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. I was a father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger."

Adopted Children of the Bible
Moses (Ex 2:10), Samuel (1 Samuel 2:1), Esther (Esther 2:7), Jesus (Matt 1)

Quote by Dennis Rainey on Adoption and the Great Commission

2009-06-07T07:37:00.001-07:00

“We have been blessed with so much, yet too often we squander these blessings on our personal pursuits without a thought that God gives us these things to use for his Kingdom. Yet I believe the adoption of orphans is one of the greatest opportunities today for fulfilling the Great Commission. When children are received into families where they are introduced to the Savior, and grow up in a secure and loving environment, they are positioned to meet and experience the living God in a tangible way.” — Dennis Rainey, president and cofounder of FamilyLife

“Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from My sight. Cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.” — Isaiah 1:16-17

Excerpt from Christian Parenting Today interview with Steven Curtis Chapman

2009-06-07T07:22:00.000-07:00

CPT: How can families discern if adoption is right for them?

Steven: If you've had the thought, there's only one person who would put that in your mindthe Father to the fatherless. Just having the idea indicates God's inviting you to something. Perhaps it's an invitation to support adoptive families waiting for grant money to adopt; perhaps it's more.

Every time I've brought this to God, I've said, "This doesn't make sense. I don't want to make a mistake. I don't want to do this for selfish reasons." It was as though I heard God chuckle and say, Do you really think this idea is from Satan - to adopt an orphan and bring her into a Christian home? When you look at it that way, even when adoption doesn't make common sense, it makes spiritual sense.

This is what God's called us to. He doesn't necessarily call everyone to international adoption, but I believe everyone's invited to care for orphans and widows. I know from our experience that when we accept that invitation, God blesses it.

After we adopted Shaoey, if anyone had asked me if we'd adopt again, I would have said, "No, this is it." But one Sunday at church, God knocked me on my rear. Our good friends have four biological children and four adopted, and have gone through some hard times with these kids. That particular Sunday morning, they were having their three youngest children dedicated, including a child they'd just adopted from China. I knew all the tough times they'd already been through, and here they'd gone and adopted another child! As this family stood before the congregation and the pastor talked about how faithful they had been, God clearly showed me this was a picture of his family. He told me, If you want to be part of what I do, this is it.
It was as though the Father had put his arm around me and said, "I want us to do something together. It's going to be hard, and if I have to, I'll carry you, but it's going to be awesome." I left church that day knowing that our family would keep growing. And we wouldn't change that for the world.

For the full interview with Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman: http://www.christianitytoday.com/momsense/2004/winter/1.26.html?start=1

Passionate about Orphans

2009-06-03T08:23:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was told that my passion for the fatherless had bowled someone over. While it was not meant exactly as a compliment – I am choosing to take it as one. After mulling over those words I came home and looked up the definition of passion :

Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin passion-, passio suffering, being acted upon, from Latin pati to suffer — more at patient
1often capitalized a: the sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death b: an oratorio based on a gospel narrative of the Passion 2obsolete : suffering3: the state or capacity of being acted on by external agents or forces4 a (1): emotion (2)plural : the emotions as distinguished from reason b: intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction c: an outbreak of anger5 a: ardent affection : love b: a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept c: an object of desire or deep interest

synonyms passion, fervor, ardor, enthusiasm, zeal mean intense emotion compelling action. passion applies to an emotion that is deeply stirring or ungovernable . fervor implies a warm and steady emotion . ardor suggests warm and excited feeling likely to be fitful or short-lived . enthusiasm applies to lively or eager interest in or admiration for a proposal, cause, or activity . zeal implies energetic and unflagging pursuit of an aim or devotion to a cause .

In reading this I was amazed to see that the definition of passion was linked to what Jesus went through for us (Passion of the Christ). I am in no way saying that my passion is equal or even comparable to that of Jesus – but that passion mattered to Jesus or He would not have done what he did for us.

Yes, I am passionate. I have an intense, driving feeling about orphans and adoption. I am enthusiastic about sharing the Biblical perspective on adoption, and I am zealous about sharing the orphan’s plight. I am unapologetically passionate, enthusiastic and zealous for children that have no one to love them, care for them, shape them and give them the security that every child deserves and most take for granted.

Several years ago in doing spiritual gifts tests, I have also discovered my strongest spiritual gift is compassion – which broken down is to bear (com) and one’s suffering (passion) or to have a deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.. In a Bible summary on the definition of compassion it shared that God’s character embodied compassion and defines it as the kind of compassion that is not just about talk and feelings but is full of action. I pray that is the kind of compassion that people see in me – that the children I champion see.

Is my passion always mature? No – I recognize that I am sometimes over-zealous, over-enthusiastic, and too passionate about what I do. That is something that I have to put in God’s hands daily – but it scares me as to how apathetic so many Christians are to the fatherless. Recently a family shared that when talking to their leadership team at their church about their desire to adopt – that one of the pastors cautioned them that it was a demonic interruption in God’s plan for their ministry. I don’t remember seeing God using the terminology “demonic interruption” anywhere in the Bible to describe orphans, adoption, children or caring for the needy. In fact, I remember Jesus did the opposite – he told the disciples to bring the children to him after they tried to send them away. Jesus made time to minister to the children and he blessed them.

In conclusion, I am proud to admit to being passionate about orphans and adoption. I believe that passion has helped 90+ children come in to loving Christian families, and I pray that more will follow. I personally view that passion as a God-given gift. Once in a small group of women, we wrote down questions as an ice breaker and the question I wrote is, “What you are passionate about?”. The lady that got my question commented that she was content where she was and she wasn’t really “passionate” about anything. I feel sorry for her – I think that our passion is linked to our ministry and to the very reason that God created us. My prayer is that all would find that passion within and do what God purposed it for.

ADOPTION BY GRACE - DECIDING TO ADOPT

2009-05-30T09:40:00.000-07:00

I found this on the ABBA Blog (listed) - I thought it was great!!!

http://www.adoption-by-grace.com/decision.html The website was wonderful!!!!

How do I make the decision about adopting a child?

Decision Support
Choosing to adopt can be an uncomfortable mix of fact-based prudence and faith-based risk taking. It can feel murky and uncertain. We experience moments of confidence followed by days of insecurity.
The good news is that through all this discomfort, God can meet us and make our faith grow. The process of coming to a decision is an important part of the journey. Here are some questions you may be asking.

“Adoption is risky. Should I take this risk?”
Be wise
Every prudent man acts out of knowledge, but a fool exposes his folly…A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.(Proverbs 13:16, 14:15). God tells us to carefully consider the cost of our decisions. Do not rush into an adoption during a moment of compassion for a needy child. Adoption is a life-long commitment that demands much sacrifice. It is wise to research, think and pray before deciding to adopt.

Exercise faith
Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:39) God tells us to be prudent, but he also tells us to live sacrificially for others, and to move beyond the realm of cold, hard facts and live by faith in the unseen. If thinking about God’s love for orphans has led to your feeling a nudge to adopt a child, this could be the leading of God. It may be time for you to step out in faith, in spite of risks.

Trust God’s guidance
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me…If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him (John 10:27, James 1:5). God is pleased when we ask for his guidance. You can be confident that he will lead you as you go to him with your adoption decision.

Trust God's sovereignty
God is working out everything in conformity to the purpose of His will. Even the decisions that we freely make are according to His plan. This actually frees us to decide to adopt or not to adopt. If we choose not to adopt, we can be confident that God has other good work for us which He prepared in advance for us to do. Read more.

“I feel differently about adoption than my spouse.”
Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Submission in this situation includes respectfully and sincerely listening to each other. It also includes being open to the possibility of God leading you through the convictions of your husband or wife.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4) Keep focused on God and his lavish love as you together wait for his guidance.

Read and pray together. Family Life’s Hope for Orphans ministry has written “Considering Adoption: A Biblical Perspective”, a five-week small group study designed to help couples explore God’s perspective on making an adoption decision. These studies include the common dynamic of husband and wife being at different places in their thinking about adoption.
Look for blessing in the process. Remember that God has put you with your spouse, and that he can bring good to both of you through this decision – even through your different perspectives and desires.

“Should I adopt an older child? What about special needs children?"
Acknowledge the difficulty of the decision. Many older children long to belong to a family. Many children with particular medical, educational or emotional needs would have many more possibilities if they were in a loving family. It is hard to look into the faces of these children and turn away. But it is also hard to predict how we would handle their care over a lifetime.

Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the LORD delivers him in times of trouble. (Psalm 41:1). God delights to honor broken people. He chooses the foolish, weak, lowly and despised things of this world to show his glory (1 Corinthians 1:27-29). When you follow him into the lives of the vulnerable, he will give you special blessing.

Use available resources. Every year, more literature and educational opportunities to help us understand child development and other issues that affect parents of special needs children. These can help you make an informed decision about adopting a child, and they can help you raise your children to their full potential once they are home with you.

“It is too expensive.”
Adoption from the foster care system is virtually free and can also include financial aid for counseling and medical expenses.
For private and international adoptions, the 2009 federal tax credit was $12,150 for families who adopt a child.
More and more foundations have been set up to help families with the financial costs of adoption. Click here for more information.

Be prudent and wise about your situation, but also remember that God’s resources are inexhaustible. To the LORD your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it. (Deuteronomy 10:14)

“I really wanted biological children. I don’t know if I will be able to love an adopted child as much.”
Feeling loss from infertility is normal. God understands our grief. For thoughts on adoption after infertility, read “Second Choice, not Second Best.”

"How can I choose an adoption agency?"
Here are some thoughts about choosing an adoption agency.

My Devotional and Our Logical Thinking

2009-05-30T06:51:00.000-07:00

I felt my devotional today was pretty significant to the ministry I do. I hear so many families weigh their decisions on "PROS and CONS" and tell me why or why they can not consider adoption.

I feel God already tells us in the Bible what to do for orphans and those in need (many, many times)- I feel it is a more about a decision not necessarily a calling (I wholeheartedly agree with Dr. David's previous post). With that said - I do however feel that not every one can adopt but many more could if they were able to step away from their excuses as to why they shouldn't (finances, time, travel, ...). My personal feeling and experience is that it will only serve to enhance your relationship with God, stretch your faith, enhance your ministry and sets the example of true religion (according to God not me!).

My husband believes that I can be a bit hard lined about how I feel - I am sure at times he is right - however, God tells us in Isaiah 58:1 - "Shout it aloud, do not hold back. Raise your voice like a trumpet. Declare to my people their rebellion and to the house of Jacob their sins."

Reading below confirms what I already believe - doing what the world thinks as crazy and being in obedience to God - trusting that God has a plan and can take care of the details. I hope that this will speak to someone that is being told that what they are considering doesn't make sense. I pray that God will give you peace and that you will know it isn't about logic but obedience.

Block Logic
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman 05-30-2009

"For this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Houses, fields and vineyards will again be bought in this land" (Jer. 32:15).

In the scriptures we discover a difference in the way the Hebrew mind viewed things compared to the way many Westerners relate to God. Hebrews used something called Block Logic. That is, concepts were expressed in self-contained units or blocks of thought. These blocks did not necessarily fit together in any obvious rational or harmonious pattern.

Greek logic, which has influenced the Western world, was different. The Greeks often used tightly contained step logic which reason a premise to a conclusion, each step linked tightly to the next in coherent, rational, logical fashion.

This is why some Bible stories don't make sense to the western mind. It is particularly difficult for Westerners - those whose thought-patterns have been influenced more by the Greeks and Romans than by the Hebrews - to piece together the block logic of Scripture.

Consider Jeremiah and God's instruction to purchase land in a seemingly inopportune time. If I asked you to purchase some land when you knew that the country you were living in was about to be invaded and you were sure to be placed under arrest, how wise do you believe such an investment would be? Do you believe God would lead you to make such an investment? That is exactly what God told Jeremiah to do. However, God had a good reason for having Jeremiah make such a purchase. It was to be a testimony and a promise that God was going to restore the Jews to their land.

Hebrews made decisions based on obedience. Greeks (and Westerners) often made decisions on logic and reason. If the early church made decisions based on a pro and con method of decision-making, there would be no miracles in the Bible. i.e., such as getting the coin from the fish's mouth, walking around the walls of Jericho to take the city, Peter walking on water, etc.
We are not to question God's instructions. We are simply to obey.

Love Found Me by Susan Krauter (link and lyrics)

2009-05-29T08:15:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful song - I hope you enjoy it!

http://songsofpraise.com/mp3/lovefoundme.mp3

Miles away across the sea
someone dreams of me
Is this true? How can it be?
That a family holds me in their heart?

(Chorus)
I found love when no one seemed to careI found love!
I thought no one was listening
Oh love found me! And I'm down on my knees
Take me to my family.

A man came from across the sea
With a package wrapped just for me
A gift of love to help me know
The love for me that my family holds!

(Chorus)
I found love when no one seemed to care
I found love! I thought no one was listening
Oh love found me!
And I'm down on my knees
Take me to my family.

(Bridge)
At night I lay in my bed and dream most splendid things
And the day will come soon when I'll be with you forever!!!

(Chorus)
I found love when no one seemed to careI found love!
I thought no one was listening
Oh love found me! And I'm down on my knees
Take me to my family.
Tears of joy run down my faceI am waiting for the day
Take me to my family.

Copyright © 2003 Susan Krauter

Quote On Hosting A Ukrainian Orphan - author unknown

2009-05-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

Hello, Dan here. Well, as you can probably imagine the Hosting is filled with giggles, games, tears and tantrums, but overall it is a wonderful experience for the kids (and the adults). Angie and I took the girls to Build-a-Bear this past week.

One of the “stations” was putting a heart in the bear (or rabbit, or dog). The girls were told to squeeze the heart, kiss it, make a wish and place it in the bear. While we were driving home Karina asked me if wishes really do come true (I said only at Disney World, just kiddin’). I said, “Well, you have to ask God.” Karina said, “OK. Do you know what I wished? Can I tell you?”. “Sure.”, I said. “I wished I would always be happy.”, she said. Smack! That hit me. I thought for sure it would be a pony or a Barbie!

This years camp has given me a glimpse into what a child can be when they desperately want a family, and how they can blossom once they are in family. It is amazing what happens to a child who is filled with hope, surrounded with love (not just hugz and kissez, but with take-a-shower!, do-your-homework!, and no-cartoons!), and motivated with encouragement.

I am told that God wants to bless us more than we can imagine, well, I could have never imagined this! He continues to teach me and reveal to me His plan for my life, one that is both challenging and rewarding, one that builds character through patience and humility, perseverance and self-control. I think Karina expressed it best when I heard her say to her newly stuffed bunny rabbit, named Star from the backseat of the car , “It’s OK now. You have a family.”

Quote from a Ukrainian Orphan

2009-05-27T07:16:00.001-07:00

"If I could convince just one person who has considered adoption to . . . go ahead and find your forever child. Or if, by sharing my story, it will help someone financially support an orphanage or one orphan overseas, then today I have accomplished my journey here."

Sophia Ramirez, Ukrainian orphan adopted at age 11, speaking in Washington at event for adoption.

While Waiting

2009-05-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

This is from a Shaohannah's Hope (aka Show Hope) newsletter:

During your adoption journey you are likely to become child-focused instead of God focused. You might even think more about the creation instead the Creator. Let me challenge you that if you are longing more for the child instead of the Savior, you may want to pause and take inventory of your relationship with God. ..... I'd like to share a few truths we learned as we journeyed with God:

- You aren't waiting on man, you are waiting on God.

- God isn't going to send you where He is absent.

- God is not bound by geography, timelines, politics or finances.

- God hasn't asked you to walk this path alone. Not only will He remain with you each step of the way, He has prepared many warriors to go with you into battle. You'll be amazed at who He uses to meet your needs.

- Don't put serving the King on hold. Waiting doesn't equate to idleness. Invest in the wait, don't waste it.

- God's gifts to us are never late; they are always on time and far beyond what we could ever imagine.

Adoption is about stewardship. Your child and everything you possess belongs to God. During the wait, surrender it all to God, for His glory.

I hope this speaks to you as it did to me. I felt both convicted and encouraged.
Praying that as we wait, we will continue to draw closer to God.
Love,
Lydia

We Pray For The Children - author unknown

2009-05-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

Looking at Children Through the Eyes of FaithMay this little prayer poem (author unknown) challenge you to pray for children and to consider how else you might become involved with a forgotten child, a child who needs parents.

We pray for children
Who put chocolate fingers everywhere,
Who like to be tickled,
Who stomp in puddles and ruin their new pants,
Who sneak Popsicles before supper,
Who erase holes in math workbooks,
Who can never find their shoes.
And we pray for those
Who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
Who can’t bound down the street in new sneakers,
Who never “counted potatoes,”
Who are born in places we wouldn’t’ be caught dead in,
Who never go to the circus,
Who live in an X-rated world.
We pray for children
Who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
Who sleep with the cat and bury goldfish,
Who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money,
Who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink,
Who slurp their soup.
And we pray for those
Who never get dessert,
Who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
Who can’t find any bread to steal,
Who don’t have any rooms to clean up,
Whose pictures aren’t on anybody’s dresser,
Whose monsters are real.
We pray for children
Who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
Who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
Who like ghost stories,
Who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
Who get visits from the tooth fairy,
Who don’t like to be kissed in front of the car pool,
Who squirm in church and scream on the phone,
Whose tears we sometimes laugh at and whose smiles can make us cry.
And we pray for those
Whose nightmares come in the daytime,
Who will eat anything,
Who have never seen a dentist,
Who are never spoiled by anyone,
Who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
Who live and move, but have no being.
We pray for children
Who want to be carried
And for those who must,
For those we never give up on
And for those who never get a second chance,
For those we smother…
And for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.
We pray for children. Amen.

THOSE LEFT BEHIND by guest blogger

2009-05-27T06:51:00.000-07:00

I can't remember where I found this (I am not taking credit for writing it) but I saved it because it really touched my heart. It is how I feel too, when we have children travel that do not meet forever families - or the children I meet at the orphanage that I see every time I go there. It makes me so sad. But I keep doing what I am doing and have to put it in God's hands to do the rest. God doesn't call me to be successful but faithful. I hope you will join me in praying for all the children around the world that wait...

Looking into these children's eyes you see the potential their lives hold and realize how international adoption may be their only hope for a future. I thank GOD that I was led on the path to adoption for my own children 5 years ago, and also that I have been given the blessing of a job that I don't consider work. You see, God placed in my heart a very heavy burden almost 5 years ago~ it is these children overseas living in orphanages.

There are times I feel as if some of them will never be adopted, and I feel like I have let them down because for some of them, we are their only hope for a family, and they continue to wait. I feel like maybe we don't do enough to promote the adoption of the older children, perhaps we aren't letting our families fall in love with these children through us and feel our compassion for them. I wonder what it will take for each one of these children to be adopted... and have the things we take for granted, such as a family, a home, dreams of the possible and impossible, and the delight in the sheer ability to be a child. I look at them and feel like they are drowning in an ocean without a lifeboat. I go to bed at night and wonder what could we have done differently to help at least one more, that surely there must have been something we could have done that would have been more. I hope and pray we can make people see these children for what is in their heart and soul, and not look at them for the shape of their eyes or the color of their skin or hair.

One night, I came across my favorite little boy on our website whose 6th birthday was coming up. This little boy touched my heart the very first time I saw his picture, and that night I looked into his eyes in the picture, and at that moment, I felt as if we have failed him and left him behind. How could such a beautiful child not have found his family yet? He would not celebrate his birthday with balloons, a fancy cake, presents, friends, or fond memories. There will be no pictures of his party to look at later in life, there will be no excitement~ there would just be another empty day for him. And the sad reality is, he will not know any better that he is missing anything. I sat there crying and feeling totally helpless. My heart breaks for him and all the other children his age both older and younger. As each day, week, month, and year goes by for our waiting children, their future is bleaker and their fate becomes more sealed with the truth that they may never find parents. After the children turn one year old, their chances for adoption are greatly reduced. Many of them will live their lives in the orphanage system, and while they are well taken care of and loved, they are not nurtured and loved as parents as a family would love them. They don't even know what they are missing. These children when they reach the age of 16 will be turned out on the streets with no family or direction, and many are unable to lead productive lives and contribute to society in a positive way.

I am reminded of a story that one of our families told me about while they were overseas visiting their children. He said he was there one day when it was a day to "move" some children out and he saw a bus and heard screams and cries of the children, and he didn't know what it was. He asked the overseas adoption facilitator and was told those children were being transferred to the orphanage because they were now 3 and too old for the Baby House and were moved from the only home they had ever known. He said it was heart wrenching to hear them. These children were forced to break the bond with those they loved and trusted most... and you see, this is now part of who they are today. These children are old enough to understand rejection, old enough to understand where they are, old enough to understand that others may get adopted, but not them, old enough to understand something is just not right. They see parents come and choose other children, and they understand "it isn't going to me this time either." They are internalizing this information and it is changing who they are and who they CAN BE! They will learn to cope and continue to live life as they know it, and never even realize what they are missing, and this reality of their lives to me is what is the most tragic!

My faith is so strong, that I know that God has a plan for these children...however it does not lessen the pain of their waiting for me and that is what continues to motivate me. I am sitting here contemplating what makes some children be chosen and others not? I have no answers at all. I have to believe that we have just not found their parents yet. I ask you to join me in praying for the waiting children. Pray for the ones who are cold and hungry, the ones who will be moved to another setting because of their age, the ones who know something is missing, the ones who cry at night, the ones who are sick, the ones who aren't perfect, the ones who get scrapes and cuts but never get Scooby Doo Band-Aids, the ones who have dreams they may never get to realize, the ones who have nightmares, the ones that will never play little league baseball, the ones who will never hear encouraging words pushing them to achieve higher goals, the ones who are about to be released from the orphanage into their real life on the streets, and the ones who are now babies who have begun their wait, and who will one day still be waiting and hoping endlessly for parents.

I write this article in the hopes that you will tell someone about the plight of children waiting for adoption in overseas orphanages. God places these things on our hearts to move us outside of our comfort level so we can help HIM make a difference. We know about the children associated with our agency, but this is only a fraction of the children who are waiting for adoption in overseas orphanages. I hope you realize that if you spread the word, that you could be the hand and messenger that God is looking for to help Him find parents for these children.

Hearing God's Voice - 5 Questions

2009-05-25T13:44:00.000-07:00

By: Lysa TerKeurst - P31 Woman magazine

I am always amazed that the God of the Universe pauses in the midst of His creation to touch and speak to our hearts. I believe each day God speaks to us. Sometimes He invites us to draw close and listen as He reveals Himself, His character and His direction. Other times He calls us to actively participate in His purposes. As I've shared my journey of radical obedience, people ask me how I know God is speaking to me.

The truth is there's no secret formula for discerning God's voice. But we can learn to recognize it the way we recognize the voices of those close to us - by knowing God personally and intimately. Then, we can tell if what we're feeling led to do is from Him or not.

Though I've never heard God's voice audibly, I hear from Him all the time. It is a certain impression on my heart that I've come to recognize. I've also learned to ask five key questions to determine if what I'm hearing is from God. Let me describe each of them so you can decide if the promptings of your heart are from the Father.

Does what I'm hearing line up with Scripture? God will not speak to us or tell us to do something that is contrary to His Word. But if we do not know Scripture, we will not be able to discern whether what we are hearing is consistent with it. Thankfully you don't need a seminary degree to read your Bible. If you are new to this, invest in a translation that is easy to understand with a built-in commentary, as well as a journal to record the verses you study. Compare it with your personal experiences and what you are learning as you read God's Word. It is the language of the Holy Spirit that helps us understand what God is saying to our hearts. It can transform the mind and prepare it for whatever God wants to tell us.

Is what I'm hearing consistent with God's character? As you read God's Word and come across verses revealing aspects of His nature, make note of them. He will not say things that are inconsistent with who He is. Galatians 5:22-23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control." The Spirit in us develops these character traits, just as they are found in the nature of Christ. When you feel God speaking to you, ask yourself, "Is what I'm hearing consistent with God's love, joy, peace, etc.?"

Is what I'm hearing being confirmed with other messages? When God is speaking to me about a particular issue, I cannot escape it. Around every corner is a sermon, a speaker's topic, or a conversation with a friend that is consistent with what I've been hearing in my time alone with Him. When we invest in spending time alone with God, He will speak to us, and what we hear from Him in these quiet times will be echoed in other places.

Is what I'm hearing beyond me? When God calls us to do something, most of the time we can't do it in our own strength - either it is beyond our ability or beyond our natural human desire. It is not something we can strategize and manipulate into being, in and of ourselves. It can only happen by God's divine intervention. Think about it - Abraham was old, Moses stuttered, Joseph was abused, and Rahab was a prostitute - and the beauty of each of their stories is that God alone worked miracles through them, and for that we give Him all the glory.

Would what I'm hearing please God? It's easy to talk ourselves out of thinking we've heard from God. We'll use pretty much any excuse to convince ourselves it's not His voice so we don't need to act. But there's one very important question to ask that takes away all our excuses: "Would this please God?" You see, if what you are doing pleases God, then even if what you thought you heard from Him wasn't His voice, you still please Him. If you are going to err, err on the side of making God happy.

The more you practice listening for God's voice, the more it becomes a natural part of your daily life. God wants you to hear Him and He wants your faith to grow. Live in expectation of hearing from God, and you will. Then respond with radical obedience.

The True Cost of Adoption by Lydia Tarr

2009-05-25T13:03:00.000-07:00

What is the true cost of adoption? I don't mean merely the dollar figure - although that is a big part of the adoption journey. What I am talking about is the hidden costs in adoption – our time, our emotions, our comfort, our expectations…

Many never realize the complexity of adoption. It is something I have tried to explain to many families, only to later realize they don’t truly understand until the end of the process, some not even then. I have told all of my families that adoption is hard. It is even imprinted on the back of my business card – “Adoption is not for the faint of heart”… but it still doesn’t sink in until after the fact and families seem surprised.

No single adoption is ever identical to the next. For some, not unlike childbirth, will have easy adoptions with little pain or effort, while others may struggle and labor hard for the same outcome. Is it fair? A common phrase at our home is, “Life isn’t fair.” God never promised us a life of fairness in this world. God determines each step of the journey and if we trust Him, we know that in Romans 8:28, he promises “all things work together for the good of those called according to His purpose.”

First, let’s begin with the investment of our emotions. For most of us, when we start the adoption process our emotions begin to build as we imagine and fall in love with the fairytale of adoption. I used to tell my 3 year old daughter a story before we adopted our first daughter Lauren from Ukraine, “Once upon a time in a land far, far, away lived a beautiful little princess who was waiting for her mommy and daddy to find her…..and as many of you know it ends with, “and they lived happily ever after.”

We dream of the child we want to rescue. Our emotions dictate our story – one day it is happy endings and the next day it is the horror story often portrayed by the media. If we have happy thoughts, then our adoption is going well. However, if bad thoughts rule the day, then we are going to ruin our family.

For those of you who have been through the process of adoption, you understand the cost of those emotions. With adoption, you will experience many highs and lows. One of my familes shared that their biggest highs and biggest lows often fell on the same day.

Next, there is the sacrifice of our time. Time is required to do the necessary paper chasing – which I know that everyone loves (I say this in jest!). Gathering seemingly countless documents, scheduling fingerprints, doctors appointments, redoing papers…it goes on. And that is only a fraction of the time it takes to travel, complete the process and bring our children home. Months and sometimes even years of our time is invested in our adoption.

The time required in country is often what determines if a family moves forward. Many families I have talked to that did not choose to go forward with adoption, used time as their defense. I want you to consider something. If I told you that in order for you to save the life of one of your loved ones, you would have to dedicate 4-6 weeks with them, isolated from all that is comfortable to you and would be away from your family and friends – what would you do? Most of us would not hesitate to do what it took to save the life of the ones we love.

This brings us to our next cost, our comfort. It is highly uncomfortable for most of us to write the initial check to begin our adoption, much less to hand over thousands of dollars later. Then there is the uncomfortable feeling of divulging all of our personal information to many along the adoption journey. Some other items to add to this tally that takes us out of our comfort zone are rooted in fear – fear of flying, travelling, being away from family and our home, not speaking the language, not understanding the culture…. For many this is a price too dear, another stumbling block of adoption.

There are also many expectations in the adoption journey- what we expect, what our family and friends expect, what your newly adopted child expects. Many times, our disappointments or unhappiness stem from the fact that our expectations were not met. Our happiness depends on those same expectations being fulfilled. Most families enter in to the process with high expectations and don’t expect reality to intervene. Unfortunately, life is full of reality.

The reality of life is that not every adoption is successful, not every child wants to be adopted, not every child will be available, not every family will finish their adoption in record time (although I know that is what we all secretly wish for – I have been there and have done the same). The reality is that our children will not instantly behave the way we want, or want what we want for them. The reality is that our adoption may not go as smooth as we hoped, and there are too many other “realities” to list them all.

So let’s add up the costs - Our time + our emotions + our comfort + our expectations, (and let’s not forget to add the obvious cost) + our money = our adoption. Now I want to put it in to what I think is the biblical perspective of adoption. My belief is that adoption is a pure reflection of what God did for us by making a way for us to be part of His family. In Ephesians 1:4-6, it states, “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”

I have also shared with many that I believe that God has predestined our children. It says in Psalms 139: 16, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. ”. I encourage all of my families to pray as I did, that God will lead them to the child He has already predestined for their family. Sometimes that child is not the one we think it will be and for those who persevere, they usually understand that at the end. There are also times when I feel at the end of my rope with one of my children and worry about trying to figure out how to parent them and at that point I have to remember that God brought us together and He will give me what it takes to do so. It is a sometimes painful process but one that stretches me and helps me grow, especially when I think of how the relationship compares to the one God has with us.

So what does God think about the cost of adoption? Let’s first consider the finances, as that is usually one of the largest costs. I understand that for many, the cost of adoption is overwhelming. It is more than a lot of families think that they can afford, but time and time again I have seen God provide in amazing ways.

I know it is God’s heart even more than ours, for orphans to have a family that can meet the needs that every child has – physical, spiritual and emotional. God designed the family unit and only a family can fulfill the need for love, security and support. So, with that said, if we believe as the Bible tells us that God owns it all, can’t we then agree that we can trust His provision – financial or otherwise?

I am asked often how much my kids “cost”. When I share with people they are often in awe and reply that they could never spend that much money. Many people have no problem spending that on a car. Let me ask you, which will leave a lasting impact?

For some, God does provide. For others, God requires us to sacrifice. This is an area of struggle and sadly few will pay what it takes. I consider the adoption fees a ransom for the lives of the children. As I asked earlier in a question, if $30,000 would save the live of someone we loved, wouldn’t most of us figure out a way to do it. But if we truly believe and trust that God owns it all, the money it takes really isn’t ours. I understand applying wisdom here. I am not speaking about foolishly entering in to adoption without any type of financial plan and expecting a check to drop in to our hands because we believe that God loves these children. But I am talking about money we have stored for tomorrow – I heard a pastor speak once on how the Bible tells us in the Lord’s prayer, to pray for our daily bread, but Americans want to have their daily bread for about 20 years in advance.

I believe that God will honor that sacrifice of our finances and bless it. I personally have seen that in my own life and with other families. I have had some families literally “balk” when I mention 401(k)’s as an option, or cashing in stock. I am reminded of the parable in Luke 12:16-21 , "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." ' "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' "This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God."

I think if we really stop and compare what Jesus did for us and what we have the opportunity to do for the waiting children – our cost is much less than His. Galations 5:6 may express it best, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”
Summing up the cost of our time, expectations, comfort and emotions, do you think that Jesus stopped to count these as He prepared to do what it took to allow us to be adopted children of God? Was it comfortable on the cross? Was it too hard for Him to handle? Was His time less valuable? Was the cost too great?