3 GREAT BOOKS I WOULD ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ!

I the past few months I have come across 3 amazing books that I would highly encourage you to read! They will stir your heart to action and give you a bigger picture of what it really looks like to serve God.

First book I read was by Tom Davis, RED LETTERS, Living a faith that bleeds. It focused on the words that Jesus spoke in the new testament. Tom Davis uses personal stories to bring the need to life and encourage you to respond as Jesus would have.

The second book I read, I have mentioned on here before - CRAZY LOVE by Francis Chan. Hopefully many of you found the free download. It will make you take an inventory of your life as a Christian and encourage you to want to change from lukewarm safe christianity to someone who is on fire for God.

The last book I am still reading but it is equally as good - it will break your heart for those who are in need - THE HOLE IN OUR GOSPEL by Richard Stearns. In America today so many of us are blissfully unaware or passively ambivilent to the huge needs in the world outside of our own comfortable life. This book will challenge you to think globally about how much you are needed to minister to someone else's need.

I hope anyone who reads this will consider taking the time to change their perspective on life and pick up one or all of these books!!!!!

Another Great Post by Guest Blogger

Okay - I know it probably seems lately like I should name this blog - Heidi's blog but she has posted some really good messages that I really love. Her comittment to adoption and her passion sound as strong as my own! I too get the questions about what did adopting do to "My Kids"? I love her response! I feel the same - that it has so richly blessed our whole family. I hope if you are struggling with this question - the answers below will encourage you!

A Greater Capacity by Heidi Weimer
Every day I receive emails from potential adoptive parents and post-adoptive families asking for advice, support, feedback, direction, and information regarding adoption. It thrills us to be able to point people in the right direction, advise families in the process, and pray for those who are preparing to live out James 1:27. This is the ministry God has given to us, and we are stoked. Our vision is to serve as full-time adoption advocates, and we are making real steps in that direction. Soon we will be operating through our We Have Room web site, which will act as a resource for those stepping into the adoption world, those who are just getting their feet wet, and those who are swimming in the post-adoption sea, sometimes raging and sometimes of glee. We feel honored to be able to be used even in just a small way and to let others know, "Hey, we've been there."

One email that I receive a few times every week sounds a little something like this: "Heidi and Kirk, Your story has been very encouraging to us, as we also feel led to adopt older kids or a sibling group, but I am just very scared of what it might do to our family, how it will affect our current kids, and what kind of short- and long-term implications it might have. Can you tell me how your biological kids adjusted to being knocked out of their birth order? How did your oldest feel about no longer being the oldest? I'm afraid I'm going to be taking away from them something that is legitimately theirs and I'm scared of what that will do to their emotions/personality/self-worth/security/what-have-you. I'm afraid they will feel ripped off."

To each and every person reading this post who knows the concrete conviction of being called to care for the older orphans yet also bears the weight of the accompanying thoughts of fear, I want you to know this...Please hear me loud and clear, as we have now SIX times over displaced our "original" kids' birth order:

You are NOT taking anything AWAY from your birth children. Instead, what you are doing is imparting to them something eternal: You are expanding their capacity to love. Think about that for a minute before you read anything else. How do you plan to teach your child to love others unconditionally and in total compassion without giving them the opportunity to do so? I'm telling you now, You CAN'T.

My biological children have a greater capacity of love in their hearts than I could ever impart to them by just giving them a safe Christianity, by maintaining their status quo, by simply modeling "godliness" as parents (as if that's the end-all be-all for a Christian family). My kids...all of them...have lived out self-sacrifice and understand (because they live it!) that laying down one's life does not steal anything from us. That is the lie of the devil, who would have us believe that sacrifice is not worth it; that there is nothing for us in return; that God doesn't really mean what He says when He said to His followers that "anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. [Because] Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:38-39).

Do you really believe that? That whoever LOSES his life for Jesus's sake, for Jesus the Orphan's sake, will actually FIND it? Ask yourself honestly. Because you might answer YES prematurely. I have no doubt that you might believe it for yourself, but do you really believe it for your children, too? That if they "lose" their "place" in the family that Jesus will instead impart to them LIFE? REAL life???

What is birth order anyway but just a sequence of how your child came to you? Let's not make an idol of that sequence. Because that's what it becomes...an IDOL. Something standing in the way of you taking up the Cross to follow Him, to BE JESUS in this world. Let's not place a value on birth order that God did not intend to be there.

Consider the older orphan. Consider the sibling groups. Consider the ones who are not often considered.

And whatever you do on your adoption journey, PLEASE I beg you, do NOT steal from your children the opportunity for their love capacity to be expanded. Do not deny them the true gift of learning early in life that "My life is not my own."

When your feisty and spunky 7-year-old biological daughter, who is now the middle child of 9 after being knocked down to #5 from #2, pleads "Please, Mommy, Please!!! I want another sister my age!!! Can we PLEASE adopt again?!!," your heart will beat out of your chest, not just because you can envision another child saved, but because you know that your daughter will NEVER EVER live a limited, safe Christianity. She won't even know what that means. In fact, she won't even have the capacity do so.

And all because you didn't limit her, either. You didn't limit God.

Give your children the gift of the greater capacity to love. Let it ripple out into the future. Let it change the world.

Did you hear the loud scream?

It was about 5:55pm today and it was a loud scream of joy! I got mine and Julie's dossier shipped off complete except for USCIS!

It was an all day chase to get homestudy and docs from our homestudy agency.

From there had to go to USCIS and got lost had to call Tom Uhrig (thanks Tom!) to get me there to drop off our I600-A.

Then on to State Police to pick up limited criminal history reports that I caught before they mailed them and then over to Secretary of State to get it all apostilled. Met some nice families adopting from Africa!

After that went to pick up Julie's marriage certs from Plainfield then home to seperate it and check it (glad I did as there were a couple of documents the Secretary of State had stuck together!) Prayed over it with my family and then to UPS - whew!!!!!

Tiring but it should be winging it to Ukraine by tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There on Thursday - hopefully not stuck in customs!

Pray for safe travel and then for USCIS to quickly process our I600-A's!!!!!!! Now all I can do is wait - and pray! I am ready to bring our boy home!!!! And I know alot of other families anxious to bring home their children too! Tonight I pray for all the children who are waiting and all the families preparing to go!

How Can We Not? (adapted from a post by Heidi Weimer)

I am thrilled to announce that my husband and I have just begun the process to adopt the 11yo boy I wrote about earlier in my blog, "V". If things go as hoped, we hope to have him home by Christmas! It is amazing to think that we will have 5 children ages 8-11 and a grand total of 7 children!!! In light of this - we are sure to get the questions....

WHY? Why would we adopt one more child, considering we now have 6 children? Why would we do this? Haven't we done enough (considering we have adopted 3 already)? Why devote our lives to this "cause" (if you can truly even call it that).

Here's why:

Because we believe that this life is not our own.

Because we believe that in the end, it won't matter what career ladders we climbed or financial investments we made or what gadgets we could afford. It will matter that 4 children's lives were saved.

Because we have seen hopelessness firsthand in Ukraine and elsewhere, but believe in all hope that each child is a child of God.

Because we believe that the orphaned child is no less valuable to the Creator than the polished child in a suburban neighborhood here in America.

Because we see nothing more worthy of our focus, time, resources, and lives.

Because injustice is a wrong worth righting.

Because the orphaned child is still a child.

Because we know that, while adoption is not the solution in and of itself to the orphan crisis 143 million times over, we have seen with our own lives how it rescues the lives of those who can be adopted.

Because we believe that Jesus died for redemption, not just for eternity, but for our lives on this planet and we believe we can be vessels of that redemption for children's lives here.

Because we know that, if it were our own flesh and blood, we would want someone to love them and call them family, too.

Because we believe that adopting a child is the closest thing to resembling what God did for us by adopting us in to His family.

Because, really, these kids are no different from your own. Not at all.

Because it's just not okay with us to say no to a child who needs a home when we have one.

Because it's just not okay with us to say no to a child who needs a family when we have one.

Because it's just not okay with us to say no to a child who needs love to thrive when we have that love to give.

Because it's just not okay with us to do nothing.

Because it won't be okay with them if we do nothing.

Because it's just not going to be okay to do nothing.

"Rescue the perishing; don't hesitate to step in and help. If you say, "Hey, that's none of my business," [i.e. "that's not for me"] will that get you off the hook? Someone is watching you closely, you know— Someone not impressed with weak excuses." -Proverbs 24:12 (The Message)

"Once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12

Quote on adopted children

"Many of our children come with “junk” that is
a byproduct of a past which can never fully be
known or understood . . . In the face of this it is
important to remember, and to remind our children
often, that there is a purpose for their lives, even as
we consistently offer them the love, grace, protection
and discipline they need to help them grow
and thrive."
by Michael Monroe
Michael and his wife Amy, lead Tapestry, the adoption and foster care ministry
at Irving Bible Church in Irving, TX.

Powerful Message by guest blogger Heidi Weimer

As I read the message below - it resonated deep within me. Heidi is speaking about the very foundation of which I have based my ministry on the past 8 years and why I work in the field that I do - ADOPTION. It is not to profit off of the needy but a driving passion that I was seemingly not able to accomplish in any other way but something so big in me that I could not rest or keep silent and what motivates me daily (also why I could talk about it endlessly and do! :) - I hope as you read this it will both convict you and encourage you. I pray that God speaks to your heart as you read this:

I wish I could tell you... by Heidi Weimer

I wish I could tell you that the sacrificial life of following after Jesus and being His actual hands and feet on this Planet Earth would bring rewards on this planet. But I can't. Because it probably won't.

I wish I could tell you that if you take in an orphan and love that child as your own flesh and blood, that you will be blessed in this life in more ways than just spiritual. But I can't. Because you might not be.

I wish I could tell you that it's easy to adopt. That it's effortless and glamorous and always beautiful. But I can't. Because it isn't.

I wish I could tell you that it's easy after you adopt. But I can't. Because it's tougher than tough some days.

I wish I could tell you that this life of sacrifice is painless and prosperous. But I can't. Because it's often painful and rarely prosperous in the earthly.

I wish I could tell you all of those warm and comforting platitudes, but I can't. Because they're not true.

What I CAN tell you, though, is that this life is not your own. So none of the above matter anyway.

When I stepped off of the cliff in full recognition of that reality, I have had no control over my life since. Yes, I have choices. I realize that I chose this road. I said yes to this calling. I agreed to take in 6 kids that I did not have to call my own. But once I said yes the first time, I could never say no after. Once I took Jesus seriously, Jesus took me seriously. I was wrecked for Him and for this life and could never tell Him no. Never again. If I say no to a child who needs me, I'm saying no to the Child Jesus. If I say no to an abandoned baby who needs me, I'm saying no to Baby Jesus. If I say no to a sibling group who needs a family, I'm saying no to Jesus and his brothers and sisters. Think I'm exaggerating?

Matthew 25:44-46 (The Message)
44"Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'

45"He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.'

46"Then those 'goats' will be herded to their eternal doom, but the 'sheep' to their eternal reward."


I mean, it doesn't get more blatant than that. But alas there it is for us so-called Jesus followers.


And, here's a little warning: Once you utter that initial walking-off-the-cliff YES to Him, it doesn't get any easier. In fact, it gets more painful and far more difficult. Saying YES the first time was the easy part for us, even though that certainly was not easy. Because--the fact is--every single day I see the reality of my choice to say YES to Jesus in need. I see the white picket fences, the new cars, the private schools, the suburban "dream," the picture perfect families. I see that. I know what I'm saying no to. I am fully aware that I had a choice to embrace "that" life, but that I chose to embrace His instead.


It's often painful. Usually not easy. Typically lonely. Generally overwhelming. But I know that this life is not my own. The reward for me is most likely not on this planet. In fact, it most certainly isn't. Most probably I will never live in a fat house (by American standards) and drive a fancy car and have any spare cash to sit on. I realize that. I know that. And I also know that I could have sought those things for myself and could have had them. I absolutely know that that life is within my reach. Every time I encounter someone who has embraced fulfillment in the temporary, I am reminded like a big banner (or a slap in the face) that I chose this road instead. And every time I am reminded, I hear God asking me (practically audibly sometimes), "So, you still want to follow the narrow road?" [YES, Lord. Here am I. Send me.]


Loving the fatherless. Loving the abandoned. Loving the seemingly hopeless. The narrow road requires sacrifice.The narrow road. It's lonely. It's long. It's difficult. It's full of suffering and struggle and sacrifice. But isn't that what following our Jesus is all about? If you're following a Jesus that doesn't demand sacrifice of all earthly endeavors, than I don't know what Jesus you're following. Didn't Jesus, after all, sacrifice all earthly endeavors for us? What did He sacrifice so that He could love YOU? How much more, then, should we sacrifice in order to love Him? And if loving HIM means loving the unlovely and the unloved, then what does it mean if we live in comfort while the unloved go on unloved? While the orphaned stay orphaned? While the street kids still roam the streets?


I don't know how we can really claim to love Jesus if we don't love Jesus the Street Child. If we don't love Jesus the Orphan. Jesus the Prostitute. Jesus the Abandoned.

But what does it mean to LOVE Jesus the Orphan? What does it mean to love Jesus the Abandoned? It means that you do for Jesus the Orphan what you would want done to your own child.


Matthew 7:12 (New International Version)
12So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

In a world that seems so complicated and chaotic, it really is as simple as that. It's what led me to see my own children in the faces of Ethiopia's orphans in the first place. It's what led me to say yes to children who simply needed a family. Who needed me. Who needed someone to see Jesus the Orphan in them.

Matthew 16:23-25 (The Message)
23But Jesus didn't swerve. "Peter, get out of my way. Satan, get lost. You have no idea how God works."

24-26Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?


Matthew 16:23-25 (New International Version)

23Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."

24Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

Where is your cross? What is your suffering? Go seek out Jesus the Orphan. You'll find your cross and suffering there. And there you will finally find Jesus. The One you did not see before and the One you did not know to love.


And then and only then, Great Will Be Your Reward. I can't count on much, but I can count on that.

Luke 6:34-36 (New International Version)
34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons and daughters of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Luke 6:34-36 (The Message)
31-34"Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that's charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.

35-36"I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You'll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we're at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

I know my family is not the so-called American Dream. I know that having 9 kids is certainly not the goal for most sane and ordinary people. I know that having a multi-racial family can really mar some people's plans for a supposedly picture-perfect family. But so what? This life is not your own. Don't live a lie believing that it is. Whose plans are those, anyway, for the picture-perfect home? the picture-perfect family? the American dream? I don't remember Jesus standing on the mountainside preaching in favor of any of those, so whatever you do, make sure your plans aren't just that...YOUR plans.

My life is not my own. And if you claim to follow Jesus, your life is not yours, either.

Galatians 2:20 (New International Version)
20I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Go. Leave behind the life you planned. SEEK OUT the orphan. Don't ask God one more time if He wants you to adopt. Because...HE'S been asking YOU, who WILL?



1 John 3:17 (The Message)
16-17This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.

THE BLIND SIDE - the movie, an inspirational story of adoption

I just watched the trailer for the movie THE BLIND SIDE. You can watch the trailer to the movie at www.theblindsidemovie.com The trailer alone almost made me cry - I can't imagine the full effect of the movie! Finally an inspirational story on adoption!

“The Blind Side” is a true story about Michael Oher, a homeless African-American youngster from a broken home, adopted by the Touhy family, a rich white family. Oher was a 1st Round draft pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, by the Baltimore Ravens.

I loved at the end of the trailer how a woman told Mrs. Touhy (played by Sandra Bullock) that she changed Michael's life and Mrs. Touhy responded "He changed mine."

I can't wait to see it! Make sure you check out the trailer!!!!!!

The Good Wait by guest blogger

The Good Wait
Scott McClellan posted this in Facts & Statistics & Myths & Realities & Resources & Stories on Monday, April 20, 2009

This is the first post in our new series, The Reality of Adoption: Confronting Common Myths. To read Michael Monroe’s overview of the series, click here.

The Myth: It takes years to adopt.

The Reality: Not necessarily.

Every adoption process is unique, from the timeline to the hidden challenges to the surprising joys. In regard to timeline, it’s true that some adoption processes take years to complete. Currently, the wait for an adoption through China is around four years. But that wasn’t the case a few years ago and it may not be the case a few years from now. And there are several countries, Ethiopia for example, for which the wait is nowhere near that long (assuming you can get your paperwork and finances together quickly).

Like international adoption, domestic adoption doesn’t operate under a single timeline. Private adoption, agency adoption, and adopting through the foster system are all different processes that move at different speeds. Even choices such as the agency you use and the desired demographics of the child you hope to adopt can affect your timeline. As a result, it’s inaccurate to characterize adoption in general as taking a certain amount of time. If you’re interested in adoption and the length of wait is an important factor for you, research all of your options. For international adoption, talk with multiple agencies about timelines for the different programs they offer. For domestic adoption, talk with agencies and other organizations about timelines for the various domestic channels. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find a timeline you’re comfortable with.
As my wife and I explored the international adoption process, we knew that certain countries were off the table for us because of timeline. To us, timeline was just as important a factor as cost, travel requirement, and the age of available children. When we finally chose Vietnam, we did so because we were comfortable with everything that would be required of us as a waiting family (or so we thought).

Once you begin your process and your wait, the key becomes “waiting well.” Assuming that you’re taking care of whatever responsibilities you have for keeping the process moving, the rest is out of your hands. Most of us like to be in control of our situation, and the adoption wait regularly clashes with that desire. It’s difficult to let go, trust that God is guiding your journey, and wait, but that’s what waiting well requires. Waiting well means using the time leading up to our placement (whether it be weeks, months, or years) to prepare ourselves as best we can physically, mentally, spiritually, experientially, relationally, and financially for the child that is coming into our home.

At first, letting go during our wait was difficult for me and my wife because we were so excited and eager to become adoptive parents. Letting go became even more difficult when diplomatic strife between the US and Vietnam threatened to end our process before we were even matched to a child. We spent several months not knowing if we’d get to adopt from Vietnam before the country closed US adoptions, and it was agony. However, during that time we got involved where appropriate by writing letters to the State Department and did our best to find peace in the midst of our uncertainty. Despite the emotional toll of the waiting game, we tried to prepare ourselves for the different possible outcomes we were facing.

Through that time, we discovered the incomparable value of waiting well by taking very practical steps toward getting ready for an adoption placement. These steps made a huge difference in the quality of our wait, and I hope they’ll make a difference for you, too:

•Read about adoption and child development.
•Connect with other adoptive families and learn from their journeys.
•Educate your friends and family about the adoption process and what they should expect after your child comes home.
•Pray for guidance and strength as you strive to make the most of your wait.
In the end, the adoption journey doesn’t end with a placement. As you and your child grow together, you’ll find that the miracle of adoption has only begun to unfold in your life and you’ll realize that your wait, however long it may have lasted, was worth it.