I just watched the trailer for the movie THE BLIND SIDE. You can watch the trailer to the movie at www.theblindsidemovie.com The trailer alone almost made me cry - I can't imagine the full effect of the movie! Finally an inspirational story on adoption!
“The Blind Side” is a true story about Michael Oher, a homeless African-American youngster from a broken home, adopted by the Touhy family, a rich white family. Oher was a 1st Round draft pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, by the Baltimore Ravens.
I loved at the end of the trailer how a woman told Mrs. Touhy (played by Sandra Bullock) that she changed Michael's life and Mrs. Touhy responded "He changed mine."
I can't wait to see it! Make sure you check out the trailer!!!!!!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Good Wait by guest blogger
The Good Wait
Scott McClellan posted this in Facts & Statistics & Myths & Realities & Resources & Stories on Monday, April 20, 2009
This is the first post in our new series, The Reality of Adoption: Confronting Common Myths. To read Michael Monroe’s overview of the series, click here.
The Myth: It takes years to adopt.
The Reality: Not necessarily.
Every adoption process is unique, from the timeline to the hidden challenges to the surprising joys. In regard to timeline, it’s true that some adoption processes take years to complete. Currently, the wait for an adoption through China is around four years. But that wasn’t the case a few years ago and it may not be the case a few years from now. And there are several countries, Ethiopia for example, for which the wait is nowhere near that long (assuming you can get your paperwork and finances together quickly).
Like international adoption, domestic adoption doesn’t operate under a single timeline. Private adoption, agency adoption, and adopting through the foster system are all different processes that move at different speeds. Even choices such as the agency you use and the desired demographics of the child you hope to adopt can affect your timeline. As a result, it’s inaccurate to characterize adoption in general as taking a certain amount of time. If you’re interested in adoption and the length of wait is an important factor for you, research all of your options. For international adoption, talk with multiple agencies about timelines for the different programs they offer. For domestic adoption, talk with agencies and other organizations about timelines for the various domestic channels. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find a timeline you’re comfortable with.
As my wife and I explored the international adoption process, we knew that certain countries were off the table for us because of timeline. To us, timeline was just as important a factor as cost, travel requirement, and the age of available children. When we finally chose Vietnam, we did so because we were comfortable with everything that would be required of us as a waiting family (or so we thought).
Once you begin your process and your wait, the key becomes “waiting well.” Assuming that you’re taking care of whatever responsibilities you have for keeping the process moving, the rest is out of your hands. Most of us like to be in control of our situation, and the adoption wait regularly clashes with that desire. It’s difficult to let go, trust that God is guiding your journey, and wait, but that’s what waiting well requires. Waiting well means using the time leading up to our placement (whether it be weeks, months, or years) to prepare ourselves as best we can physically, mentally, spiritually, experientially, relationally, and financially for the child that is coming into our home.
At first, letting go during our wait was difficult for me and my wife because we were so excited and eager to become adoptive parents. Letting go became even more difficult when diplomatic strife between the US and Vietnam threatened to end our process before we were even matched to a child. We spent several months not knowing if we’d get to adopt from Vietnam before the country closed US adoptions, and it was agony. However, during that time we got involved where appropriate by writing letters to the State Department and did our best to find peace in the midst of our uncertainty. Despite the emotional toll of the waiting game, we tried to prepare ourselves for the different possible outcomes we were facing.
Through that time, we discovered the incomparable value of waiting well by taking very practical steps toward getting ready for an adoption placement. These steps made a huge difference in the quality of our wait, and I hope they’ll make a difference for you, too:
•Read about adoption and child development.
•Connect with other adoptive families and learn from their journeys.
•Educate your friends and family about the adoption process and what they should expect after your child comes home.
•Pray for guidance and strength as you strive to make the most of your wait.
In the end, the adoption journey doesn’t end with a placement. As you and your child grow together, you’ll find that the miracle of adoption has only begun to unfold in your life and you’ll realize that your wait, however long it may have lasted, was worth it.
Scott McClellan posted this in Facts & Statistics & Myths & Realities & Resources & Stories on Monday, April 20, 2009
This is the first post in our new series, The Reality of Adoption: Confronting Common Myths. To read Michael Monroe’s overview of the series, click here.
The Myth: It takes years to adopt.
The Reality: Not necessarily.
Every adoption process is unique, from the timeline to the hidden challenges to the surprising joys. In regard to timeline, it’s true that some adoption processes take years to complete. Currently, the wait for an adoption through China is around four years. But that wasn’t the case a few years ago and it may not be the case a few years from now. And there are several countries, Ethiopia for example, for which the wait is nowhere near that long (assuming you can get your paperwork and finances together quickly).
Like international adoption, domestic adoption doesn’t operate under a single timeline. Private adoption, agency adoption, and adopting through the foster system are all different processes that move at different speeds. Even choices such as the agency you use and the desired demographics of the child you hope to adopt can affect your timeline. As a result, it’s inaccurate to characterize adoption in general as taking a certain amount of time. If you’re interested in adoption and the length of wait is an important factor for you, research all of your options. For international adoption, talk with multiple agencies about timelines for the different programs they offer. For domestic adoption, talk with agencies and other organizations about timelines for the various domestic channels. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find a timeline you’re comfortable with.
As my wife and I explored the international adoption process, we knew that certain countries were off the table for us because of timeline. To us, timeline was just as important a factor as cost, travel requirement, and the age of available children. When we finally chose Vietnam, we did so because we were comfortable with everything that would be required of us as a waiting family (or so we thought).
Once you begin your process and your wait, the key becomes “waiting well.” Assuming that you’re taking care of whatever responsibilities you have for keeping the process moving, the rest is out of your hands. Most of us like to be in control of our situation, and the adoption wait regularly clashes with that desire. It’s difficult to let go, trust that God is guiding your journey, and wait, but that’s what waiting well requires. Waiting well means using the time leading up to our placement (whether it be weeks, months, or years) to prepare ourselves as best we can physically, mentally, spiritually, experientially, relationally, and financially for the child that is coming into our home.
At first, letting go during our wait was difficult for me and my wife because we were so excited and eager to become adoptive parents. Letting go became even more difficult when diplomatic strife between the US and Vietnam threatened to end our process before we were even matched to a child. We spent several months not knowing if we’d get to adopt from Vietnam before the country closed US adoptions, and it was agony. However, during that time we got involved where appropriate by writing letters to the State Department and did our best to find peace in the midst of our uncertainty. Despite the emotional toll of the waiting game, we tried to prepare ourselves for the different possible outcomes we were facing.
Through that time, we discovered the incomparable value of waiting well by taking very practical steps toward getting ready for an adoption placement. These steps made a huge difference in the quality of our wait, and I hope they’ll make a difference for you, too:
•Read about adoption and child development.
•Connect with other adoptive families and learn from their journeys.
•Educate your friends and family about the adoption process and what they should expect after your child comes home.
•Pray for guidance and strength as you strive to make the most of your wait.
In the end, the adoption journey doesn’t end with a placement. As you and your child grow together, you’ll find that the miracle of adoption has only begun to unfold in your life and you’ll realize that your wait, however long it may have lasted, was worth it.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Amazing Love....
Yesterday we arrived at the beach in Panama City - it was absolutely amazing! The size and the awe of it is breathtaking. I took alot of time to reflect and to pray as I stared out at the ocean.
One thing that came to mind last night as I sat on the roof top deck, gazing at the stars, hearing the waves beat against the shore, and feeling the breeze on my face is how relaxing it was. I thought back to a time when I used to say my theme song was the Alabama song "I'm in a hurry to get things done, I rush and rush until life's no fun...." and I thought about what song I would chose today...as I thought about it the song "Amazing Love" came to mind.
Today I am so mindful of God's amazing love and as I sat on the beach and watched 6 former orphans laugh, run, play and dance in the water - I was overwhelmed by it. I wish that everyone could visibly see the evidence of God's amazing love. I knew without a doubt in my mind that God was smiling as He watched the girl's play in the ocean He created. I know He delighted in watching them laugh and dance in the water. Knowing that brought me great joy and thankfully my sunglasses hid the tears of happiness that streamed down my face.
I am so thankful for God's amazing love.
Enjoy these lyrics and reflect on how much God loves you.
Amazing Love by Hillsong United
I'm forgiven, because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well, you're spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
I'm forgiven, because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well, you're spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
Amazing love, how can it be
That you my king would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
It's my joy to honor you
Amazing love, how can it be
That you My king would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
It's my joy to honor you
In all I do I honor you
I'm forgiven, because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well, you're spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
One thing that came to mind last night as I sat on the roof top deck, gazing at the stars, hearing the waves beat against the shore, and feeling the breeze on my face is how relaxing it was. I thought back to a time when I used to say my theme song was the Alabama song "I'm in a hurry to get things done, I rush and rush until life's no fun...." and I thought about what song I would chose today...as I thought about it the song "Amazing Love" came to mind.
Today I am so mindful of God's amazing love and as I sat on the beach and watched 6 former orphans laugh, run, play and dance in the water - I was overwhelmed by it. I wish that everyone could visibly see the evidence of God's amazing love. I knew without a doubt in my mind that God was smiling as He watched the girl's play in the ocean He created. I know He delighted in watching them laugh and dance in the water. Knowing that brought me great joy and thankfully my sunglasses hid the tears of happiness that streamed down my face.
I am so thankful for God's amazing love.
Enjoy these lyrics and reflect on how much God loves you.
Amazing Love by Hillsong United
I'm forgiven, because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well, you're spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
I'm forgiven, because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well, you're spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
Amazing love, how can it be
That you my king would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
It's my joy to honor you
Amazing love, how can it be
That you My king would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
It's my joy to honor you
In all I do I honor you
I'm forgiven, because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well, you're spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Crazy Love (Overwhelmed By A Relentless GOD) by Francis Chan
This is a wonderful book!!!! It had me squirming in my seat and inspiring me to do more all at the same time! I want to read it with my family this next week while on vacation and I pray that it inspires us all to be more crazy for God!!!!!!
For a short time there is a FREE download of the audio book at http://christianaudio.com/free_download.php
I really hope you take the time to download it and I pray that it inspires you and blesses you! Be sure to pass it on - there is only a few days left!
For a short time there is a FREE download of the audio book at http://christianaudio.com/free_download.php
I really hope you take the time to download it and I pray that it inspires you and blesses you! Be sure to pass it on - there is only a few days left!
Friday, July 17, 2009
Beautiful Children's book that made me cry...
I was reading "SHAOEY AND DOT" by Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman one day (during the time I was waiting to adopt my two Ukrainian daughters) and the words in the book shook me to my core. I was so devastated I had to stop reading the book and get myself together before finishing it. Those are the words that drive me to want every child to have a mother (and father).
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the book - it is a story created about the Chapman's first adopted daughter from China (Shaohannah or Shaoey for short) and is told by a ladybug (Dot). Below are the words that brought my tears:
On their way to the place where the family was waiting Dot thought she should try to explain. "Well this is the day," she said to her friend. "Everything's getting ready to change.
"See, I've waited till now to tell you this story. It's about all the reasons you cry. Sometimes it's because you feel sick, tired, or hungry, And sometimes you just want your pants dry."
"But, then, there's a cry that's the saddest of all. In fact, it's unlike any other. It comes from a deep, empty place in your heart that can only be filled by a mother."
These words reached deep inside me - I love my children so much, I can't begin to imagine how it must feel to a child to not have a mother's (or father's) love. It is that love I have for my children that drives me so much to want that for other children.
When I came to understand that God loved me as a father - that was so impacting to me. I was a parent and could relate to how much I loved my children and realized - WOW - God loves me like that and more....
I want children all over the world to have that love, and security from an earthly family - but even more to have that same love and security for eternity. I pray that God continues to raise up Christian's to care for the orphan - to get the message out for the sake of the children. Not only do these children have a deep empty place in their heart that can only be filled by a mother - but they have a bigger empty place in their heart that only a (Heavenly) FATHER can fill....
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the book - it is a story created about the Chapman's first adopted daughter from China (Shaohannah or Shaoey for short) and is told by a ladybug (Dot). Below are the words that brought my tears:
On their way to the place where the family was waiting Dot thought she should try to explain. "Well this is the day," she said to her friend. "Everything's getting ready to change.
"See, I've waited till now to tell you this story. It's about all the reasons you cry. Sometimes it's because you feel sick, tired, or hungry, And sometimes you just want your pants dry."
"But, then, there's a cry that's the saddest of all. In fact, it's unlike any other. It comes from a deep, empty place in your heart that can only be filled by a mother."
These words reached deep inside me - I love my children so much, I can't begin to imagine how it must feel to a child to not have a mother's (or father's) love. It is that love I have for my children that drives me so much to want that for other children.
When I came to understand that God loved me as a father - that was so impacting to me. I was a parent and could relate to how much I loved my children and realized - WOW - God loves me like that and more....
I want children all over the world to have that love, and security from an earthly family - but even more to have that same love and security for eternity. I pray that God continues to raise up Christian's to care for the orphan - to get the message out for the sake of the children. Not only do these children have a deep empty place in their heart that can only be filled by a mother - but they have a bigger empty place in their heart that only a (Heavenly) FATHER can fill....
Thursday, July 16, 2009
What Every Child Deserves - Unfailing Love by Guest Blogger
Steppin' Heavenward
But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me. Psalm 13:5~6
Friday, March 28, 2008
Psalm 68:6~
God sets the lonely in families Psalm 68:6
The following is written by Erin Henderson HIV Adoption Coordinator for AAI and mother to 11 children. She and her husband have children from Vietnam, Korea, the U.S. and Ethiopia and have adopted two HIV+ children from AHOPE through AAI.
She has expressed so well why we too believe in adoption. At each orphanage I visited in Ethiopia I had children ask me to be their mother..or to find them a family. If you have ever had this experience it is not something you ever forget. Those eyes asking for you to "Please, choose me." will be brought into the remembrance of your heart and mind time and again.
There are those who oppose International Adoption and proclaim the loss of the culture a tragedy, I say the greater tragedy is a child growing up without a family to love ..and be loved by.
I have been thinking a lot about kids lately... kids who don't have moms (and dads)... kids waiting for moms, and what life is like for kids who do not have parents. I have been thinking about the transformation that occurs when a child realizes he has a mom, a dad, a family...security, love and somewhere to belong.
With some of our kids, that "realization" that they have a Mom and a family, that they have someone to belong to, someone to watch over them, someone to care for them and someone to love them, has been gradual. With some of our kids, there has been this "a ha!" moment, where you could just see that they "got it".
There was baby Maggie... almost four months old... laying on the bed in our hotel in Vietnam on our first full day together (I had been visiting her for days at the hospital before this point). Before her hospitalization she had lived in a government orphanage where the babies had their names written on their legs in black magic marker so they could be told apart, and got very very little personal attention. She didn't cry when she was hungry or when she wanted something. She was quiet and tiny, but I could tell she loved being held and loved the attention I was giving her.
I walked away from the bed where she was laying to get a bottle for her, and she made this teeny tiny pitiful (feeble attempt at a) cry, and I rushed over and picked her up and offered her the bottle. She got this look of amazement on her face with a little smile that seemed to say, "Holy cow! You mean that crying thing WORKS with you??" and after that she did not want anyone but me and always wanted me close. She got it. I was there for her. I was her mom.
With Mercy, she was nine years old. She had had a mom before, who did not value or respect her role as a mom. Mercy knew neglect and abuse and loss. Despite that, she came to us with an open heart and a surprising amount of trust. At one point during our first week, Des needed her hair washed (and Mercy had been the one to care for Des up until that point, even though she was only three years older). Mercy told Des to go into the bathroom so she could wash her hair, and I gently told Mercy that I could wash Des's hair, and reminded her that that was the kind of thing a Mom should do. The social worker had warned us that "letting go" of being the caregiver of Des might be hard for Mercy and we might have some power struggles over it... but Mercy looked at me and looked at Des and looked back at me and said, "You wash all the other little kids... You would wash Des's hair too?" and I said, "Yes". And she said, "And then what would I do?" and I said, "Well, you could go play." And she looked at Des again and then back at me, and then she got this huge smile on her face, and you could almost SEE her letting go of the responsibility of caring for her little sister. She ran over and gave me a hug, and then took off to play. She got it. I was there for her and for her sister. I was their mom.
With Solomon, that moment came when we left AHOPE for the second time together. We had spent two days together, and then we had gone back to AHOPE to visit. As we walked through the gate and the kids called out his name and came running to say hi to him, he sat in my arms with huge, silent tears running down his cheeks. He would not make eye contact with anyone (including me, the kids and the nannies) and just stared ahead with this heartbreaking acceptance of the fact that he thought he was being left. Again. It hurt me so much that he had come to accept this from life... that nice people came and went, but he did not truly belong to any of them. I couldn't imagine how his little heart felt and how he had endured all that he had already. I comforted him and held him close and told him over and over again in his ear that I would never, never, never leave him.
He started to relax a little the longer we were there and I stayed with him, but he was not his usual self. And then it happened. I put him in the sling, we waved good-bye, went back out through the gate and headed back up the road towards the hotel for some lunch. He got this HUGE grin on his face, and was bouncing up and down in the sling laughing, and then grabbing my face and kissing it over and over as we walked. He was so happy and joyful. He got it. He was not going to be left again. I was HIS. He was mine. I was his Mom.
Since then I have watched him blossom with love. I have watched him learn how to expect and look forward to being held often, comforted when he cries, rocked to sleep, having his needs met, getting individual attention and being smothered in hugs and kisses often. As I crawled into bed last night, a few hours after I had put him down to sleep, his little body turned towards me, and without waking up, he put his arm on me, snuggled in close and let out a content sigh.
All kids deserve that knowledge, that peace and that comfort. All kids deserve to know that they are loved and that they belong to someone.
I believe with all my heart that our Heavenly Father did not send us down here to go at life alone, to worry about ourselves and to focus our lives on material and trivial things. I believe with all my heart that we are meant to live in families... mothers, fathers and children together, focusing our lives on loving, enjoying and serving each other.
We have several reasons to believe that Solomon most likely spent very little (if any) time with his first mother. And yet even after multiple changes in caregivers and "homes", multiple losses and lots of suffering without a mom to comfort him, he KNEW what a Mom was for from our very first days together. His heart and soul reached out to mine and grabbed on firmly. He knew that he wanted a mom. He knew that hugs, kisses and rock-a-byes were something he wanted, deserved and needed. The other kids we met in Ethiopia knew it too. They knew that they belonged with parents. They knew that something big was missing from their lives.
My heart rejoices for my kids and others that have had their lives changed so drastically...who were once alone, and now live with love, security and family. Watching Solomon over the past few weeks has reminded me of what an incredible miracle adoption is.
And at the same time, my heart aches for the so very many kids who are living life alone right now. . Even the very best orphanage is no comparison to a home and family. It is wrong that these kids must wait and yearn for a family. They deserve, as all children do, the peace and security that comes with the knowledge of knowing that they belong to someone, that they are being cared for and that they are loved.
This is why I support adoption...because I have seen the sadness in the eyes of the children who wait for moms, I have seen the amazing transformation in children once they have been "claimed" and loved, and because I believe, with all my heart, that that love and belonging is what our lives on this Earth are supposed to be about.
But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me. Psalm 13:5~6
Friday, March 28, 2008
Psalm 68:6~
God sets the lonely in families Psalm 68:6
The following is written by Erin Henderson HIV Adoption Coordinator for AAI and mother to 11 children. She and her husband have children from Vietnam, Korea, the U.S. and Ethiopia and have adopted two HIV+ children from AHOPE through AAI.
She has expressed so well why we too believe in adoption. At each orphanage I visited in Ethiopia I had children ask me to be their mother..or to find them a family. If you have ever had this experience it is not something you ever forget. Those eyes asking for you to "Please, choose me." will be brought into the remembrance of your heart and mind time and again.
There are those who oppose International Adoption and proclaim the loss of the culture a tragedy, I say the greater tragedy is a child growing up without a family to love ..and be loved by.
I have been thinking a lot about kids lately... kids who don't have moms (and dads)... kids waiting for moms, and what life is like for kids who do not have parents. I have been thinking about the transformation that occurs when a child realizes he has a mom, a dad, a family...security, love and somewhere to belong.
With some of our kids, that "realization" that they have a Mom and a family, that they have someone to belong to, someone to watch over them, someone to care for them and someone to love them, has been gradual. With some of our kids, there has been this "a ha!" moment, where you could just see that they "got it".
There was baby Maggie... almost four months old... laying on the bed in our hotel in Vietnam on our first full day together (I had been visiting her for days at the hospital before this point). Before her hospitalization she had lived in a government orphanage where the babies had their names written on their legs in black magic marker so they could be told apart, and got very very little personal attention. She didn't cry when she was hungry or when she wanted something. She was quiet and tiny, but I could tell she loved being held and loved the attention I was giving her.
I walked away from the bed where she was laying to get a bottle for her, and she made this teeny tiny pitiful (feeble attempt at a) cry, and I rushed over and picked her up and offered her the bottle. She got this look of amazement on her face with a little smile that seemed to say, "Holy cow! You mean that crying thing WORKS with you??" and after that she did not want anyone but me and always wanted me close. She got it. I was there for her. I was her mom.
With Mercy, she was nine years old. She had had a mom before, who did not value or respect her role as a mom. Mercy knew neglect and abuse and loss. Despite that, she came to us with an open heart and a surprising amount of trust. At one point during our first week, Des needed her hair washed (and Mercy had been the one to care for Des up until that point, even though she was only three years older). Mercy told Des to go into the bathroom so she could wash her hair, and I gently told Mercy that I could wash Des's hair, and reminded her that that was the kind of thing a Mom should do. The social worker had warned us that "letting go" of being the caregiver of Des might be hard for Mercy and we might have some power struggles over it... but Mercy looked at me and looked at Des and looked back at me and said, "You wash all the other little kids... You would wash Des's hair too?" and I said, "Yes". And she said, "And then what would I do?" and I said, "Well, you could go play." And she looked at Des again and then back at me, and then she got this huge smile on her face, and you could almost SEE her letting go of the responsibility of caring for her little sister. She ran over and gave me a hug, and then took off to play. She got it. I was there for her and for her sister. I was their mom.
With Solomon, that moment came when we left AHOPE for the second time together. We had spent two days together, and then we had gone back to AHOPE to visit. As we walked through the gate and the kids called out his name and came running to say hi to him, he sat in my arms with huge, silent tears running down his cheeks. He would not make eye contact with anyone (including me, the kids and the nannies) and just stared ahead with this heartbreaking acceptance of the fact that he thought he was being left. Again. It hurt me so much that he had come to accept this from life... that nice people came and went, but he did not truly belong to any of them. I couldn't imagine how his little heart felt and how he had endured all that he had already. I comforted him and held him close and told him over and over again in his ear that I would never, never, never leave him.
He started to relax a little the longer we were there and I stayed with him, but he was not his usual self. And then it happened. I put him in the sling, we waved good-bye, went back out through the gate and headed back up the road towards the hotel for some lunch. He got this HUGE grin on his face, and was bouncing up and down in the sling laughing, and then grabbing my face and kissing it over and over as we walked. He was so happy and joyful. He got it. He was not going to be left again. I was HIS. He was mine. I was his Mom.
Since then I have watched him blossom with love. I have watched him learn how to expect and look forward to being held often, comforted when he cries, rocked to sleep, having his needs met, getting individual attention and being smothered in hugs and kisses often. As I crawled into bed last night, a few hours after I had put him down to sleep, his little body turned towards me, and without waking up, he put his arm on me, snuggled in close and let out a content sigh.
All kids deserve that knowledge, that peace and that comfort. All kids deserve to know that they are loved and that they belong to someone.
I believe with all my heart that our Heavenly Father did not send us down here to go at life alone, to worry about ourselves and to focus our lives on material and trivial things. I believe with all my heart that we are meant to live in families... mothers, fathers and children together, focusing our lives on loving, enjoying and serving each other.
We have several reasons to believe that Solomon most likely spent very little (if any) time with his first mother. And yet even after multiple changes in caregivers and "homes", multiple losses and lots of suffering without a mom to comfort him, he KNEW what a Mom was for from our very first days together. His heart and soul reached out to mine and grabbed on firmly. He knew that he wanted a mom. He knew that hugs, kisses and rock-a-byes were something he wanted, deserved and needed. The other kids we met in Ethiopia knew it too. They knew that they belonged with parents. They knew that something big was missing from their lives.
My heart rejoices for my kids and others that have had their lives changed so drastically...who were once alone, and now live with love, security and family. Watching Solomon over the past few weeks has reminded me of what an incredible miracle adoption is.
And at the same time, my heart aches for the so very many kids who are living life alone right now. . Even the very best orphanage is no comparison to a home and family. It is wrong that these kids must wait and yearn for a family. They deserve, as all children do, the peace and security that comes with the knowledge of knowing that they belong to someone, that they are being cared for and that they are loved.
This is why I support adoption...because I have seen the sadness in the eyes of the children who wait for moms, I have seen the amazing transformation in children once they have been "claimed" and loved, and because I believe, with all my heart, that that love and belonging is what our lives on this Earth are supposed to be about.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
From Dreams to Reality
Today is a hard day. I will watch as 13 children prepare to go back to their orphanage, I will see them fight for composure, some will have stone faces as my Katelyn did, and some will cry and cling to their family. Families will struggle with the emotions,trying to hold it together until the children are out of sight. That in itself is hard enough - but today I will put a child that is close to my heart on that airplane and back to a life in the orphanage, not knowing what his future holds and that is the hard part.
Our little guy, V, said that being here was like a dream that he could have never imagined. My heart breaks as I have to send him back to reality. The reality of feeling like no one special, of being picked on by the older kids and made fun of. I hope while he was here, he felt the love of Jesus. I tried to love him as my own, and I did with all of my heart. I want him to know that there is someone in this world that loves him and cares for him.
Last night we were not able to maintain our emotions. I was packing V's suitcase and put in his blanket we gave him. I began to think about him being cold and having no one to snuggle with - which he loves. About being sick like he was yesterday and having no one to hold him. And I went to my bathroom and sobbed, crying out to God. Then my 4 girls came in and tried to comfort me and they too began to cry. Their hearts are broken for this precious boy. They have been so good to him - and all of them love him and want him to stay. I can't imagine what today will be like.
When V saw us crying - he was hugging all of us and trying to comfort us, telling us - "It's okay, It's okay." Quite honestly it isn't. I don't know that my heart will ever get over having to send him back and not knowing if he will have a family. At church Sunday, I was praying for him and couldn't stop crying. The one's that were comforting me were the kids that I had helped find families. The irony that I was being comforted by ones that I helped and that I was crying over one that I had not helped only made me cry more.
I am washing the last of his clothes and as I put them in the laundry I wondered if he would get to keep any of the clothes that the girls and I so lovingly picked out. Or keep any of the gifts that we gave him and he delighted in - or would they all be stripped away by older boys? For a moment I clung to the fact that he would have the love we gave him and he would be able to hold on to that - but then it hit me, HOW LONG UNTIL THAT IS STRIPPED AWAY? How long will he feel our love before the reality strips it all away? At what point will he stop feeling our love? At what point does the pain erase it all?
For now - all I can do is to love him and continue to offer him up to God. I know that God loves him even more than I do. I pray that God keeps him safe and protects him from all the hardness of this world. I hope he always has a song to sing. a hug to give and a smile on his face, as we know him. With a heart that is broken, I will pray..........trusting God for his life and praying that he will find the dream again.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Response to the opportunity to adopt children from the USA.
Today I received an email with the message below about the opportunity to adopt children here in Indiana. As families begin to share that they are adopting from Ukraine (or other countries), they will inevitably hear the well meaning information about children available in Indiana or in the USA. Funny thing is, it almost always comes from someone that has never adopted or considered adopting from anywhere. My response is below.
Our friend Karen is a child advocate/ attorney thru the State. She shares some info about adoption many of us may not know. I am sure she would be happy to point any interested in the right direction. Thanks Karen! ( this is a reply from the earlier one about the kids from the Ukraine who are being hosted)
Please remember that there are many children in Indiana who are wards of the State and need adopting. There is no cost, and there is training, and often there is adoption assistance for the legal expenses and per diem.
Karen B of FMCC
My thoughts are that God leads us to where our children are - just as He takes missionaries all over the world and there are obviously needy and unsaved people here. As for the money - it is all God's and if He chooses we pay a ransom for the lives of these children - then He will provide. All children, all over the world are equally deserving of a family - as Christians we trust God to lead us to them.
Our friend Karen is a child advocate/ attorney thru the State. She shares some info about adoption many of us may not know. I am sure she would be happy to point any interested in the right direction. Thanks Karen! ( this is a reply from the earlier one about the kids from the Ukraine who are being hosted)
Please remember that there are many children in Indiana who are wards of the State and need adopting. There is no cost, and there is training, and often there is adoption assistance for the legal expenses and per diem.
Karen B of FMCC
My thoughts are that God leads us to where our children are - just as He takes missionaries all over the world and there are obviously needy and unsaved people here. As for the money - it is all God's and if He chooses we pay a ransom for the lives of these children - then He will provide. All children, all over the world are equally deserving of a family - as Christians we trust God to lead us to them.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
AFFORDING ADOPTION - guest blogger
Affording Adoption in a Tough Economy
By Johnston Moore
It is no secret that the United States and most of the rest of the world are experiencing difficult times economically. Unemployment is rising, layoffs are increasing, people are taking salary cuts, spending freezes are in effect, people are cutting back wherever they can, and even doing without when necessary.
Of course, the Christian community has also been hit by economic woes, and many of our brothers and sisters are putting things on hold until times are more stable. What will this mean for those whom God is calling to adopt? Given the cost of private domestic and international adoptions, how can people afford to adopt through these channels in such tough economic times?
We asked our friends at three outstanding organizations that provide financial help for adoptive families to weigh in on the issue. With their help we’ve come up with three important steps people can take in affording adoption in these times: trust, ask, and be creative.
Trust
It is so important to never lose sight of the fact that God is in charge and that we can trust Him, regardless of what our bank statements and paychecks say.
“First and foremost – God is still Jehovah-Jireh (the Lord Provides),” says Andy Lehman of Lifesong for Orphans (LifesongForOrphans.org), which helps couples adopt through matching funds, interest free loans, and by helping churches start adoption funds. “If God calls you to adopt, be confident He will provide the financial means to adopt while still following Biblical guidelines for handling money.”
Many Christians are indeed putting their faith in God and moving forward with adoption plans in spite of the economy, though they seem to be looking for more outside help in financing their adoptions. “We are seeing a significant increase in the number of adoption assistance applications each month since the fall of 2008,” says Scott Hasenbalg of Show Hope (ShowHope.org), which helps Christians adopt through grants and by helping churches start adoption funds. “From my perspective, the good news is that people are putting their faith in God, not in the economy.…I am thrilled to see believers not letting finances stand in the way of their adoptions.”
Ask
Though times are difficult, funds are still available through grants and interest-free loans. Adoptive couples should continue to apply for these funds through some of the wonderful ministries that have them, regardless of the tightening economy.
Wendy Cosby of Show Hope says that it is important to encourage believers to help fund adoptions. “What better thing can you continue to give to during the hard times than helping an orphan to be placed in a loving, Christian home….something that has eternal implications.”
Andy is confident the body of Christ will rise to the occasion and help those called to adopt, even in lean times. “Many are giving generously and sacrificially to help fund adoption grants, matching grants, interest-free loans, and provide seed money for Church Adoption Funds.”
In addition to applying for funds from existing organizations, do not be shy to ask others for help. It is not unusual to receive letters requesting financial support for missionaries. Adopting a child is a missional act, and we should not hesitate to ask others to share the cost with us.
Be Creative
Scott says that the difficult economic times have led people to think a little more outside the box in figuring out how to fund their adoptions. “We are seeing more creativity from individuals who are reaching out to their community of friends and family, from traditional yard and bake sales to sending baby bottles to friends and asking them to fill them with coins or dollar bills.”
Other creative ways to help fund your adoption might include:
· A fund-raising dinner in your church
· A benefit concert
· A raffle
The truth is that if God is calling you to adopt, as Andy said, He will provide the means for you to afford it. The key is to trust, ask, and be creative, and you will be amazed to see what God does.
Jason Kovacs, of the ABBA Fund (AbbaFund.org), which helps adoptive parents through interest-free loans and by assisting churches in starting adoption funds, sees a great opportunity to witness to the world of God’s provision and priorities. “I think we are living in an economic time when the world will say it is unwise to attempt to adopt because it costs so much. From God's perspective, this is the perfect time for Him to show that He is mighty and able to provide for His people. Many folks get this and are stepping out in faith. And many of their friends and family and churches are not listening to the world and are coming alongside and helping with donations and support. We can praise God for that.”
By Johnston Moore
It is no secret that the United States and most of the rest of the world are experiencing difficult times economically. Unemployment is rising, layoffs are increasing, people are taking salary cuts, spending freezes are in effect, people are cutting back wherever they can, and even doing without when necessary.
Of course, the Christian community has also been hit by economic woes, and many of our brothers and sisters are putting things on hold until times are more stable. What will this mean for those whom God is calling to adopt? Given the cost of private domestic and international adoptions, how can people afford to adopt through these channels in such tough economic times?
We asked our friends at three outstanding organizations that provide financial help for adoptive families to weigh in on the issue. With their help we’ve come up with three important steps people can take in affording adoption in these times: trust, ask, and be creative.
Trust
It is so important to never lose sight of the fact that God is in charge and that we can trust Him, regardless of what our bank statements and paychecks say.
“First and foremost – God is still Jehovah-Jireh (the Lord Provides),” says Andy Lehman of Lifesong for Orphans (LifesongForOrphans.org), which helps couples adopt through matching funds, interest free loans, and by helping churches start adoption funds. “If God calls you to adopt, be confident He will provide the financial means to adopt while still following Biblical guidelines for handling money.”
Many Christians are indeed putting their faith in God and moving forward with adoption plans in spite of the economy, though they seem to be looking for more outside help in financing their adoptions. “We are seeing a significant increase in the number of adoption assistance applications each month since the fall of 2008,” says Scott Hasenbalg of Show Hope (ShowHope.org), which helps Christians adopt through grants and by helping churches start adoption funds. “From my perspective, the good news is that people are putting their faith in God, not in the economy.…I am thrilled to see believers not letting finances stand in the way of their adoptions.”
Ask
Though times are difficult, funds are still available through grants and interest-free loans. Adoptive couples should continue to apply for these funds through some of the wonderful ministries that have them, regardless of the tightening economy.
Wendy Cosby of Show Hope says that it is important to encourage believers to help fund adoptions. “What better thing can you continue to give to during the hard times than helping an orphan to be placed in a loving, Christian home….something that has eternal implications.”
Andy is confident the body of Christ will rise to the occasion and help those called to adopt, even in lean times. “Many are giving generously and sacrificially to help fund adoption grants, matching grants, interest-free loans, and provide seed money for Church Adoption Funds.”
In addition to applying for funds from existing organizations, do not be shy to ask others for help. It is not unusual to receive letters requesting financial support for missionaries. Adopting a child is a missional act, and we should not hesitate to ask others to share the cost with us.
Be Creative
Scott says that the difficult economic times have led people to think a little more outside the box in figuring out how to fund their adoptions. “We are seeing more creativity from individuals who are reaching out to their community of friends and family, from traditional yard and bake sales to sending baby bottles to friends and asking them to fill them with coins or dollar bills.”
Other creative ways to help fund your adoption might include:
· A fund-raising dinner in your church
· A benefit concert
· A raffle
The truth is that if God is calling you to adopt, as Andy said, He will provide the means for you to afford it. The key is to trust, ask, and be creative, and you will be amazed to see what God does.
Jason Kovacs, of the ABBA Fund (AbbaFund.org), which helps adoptive parents through interest-free loans and by assisting churches in starting adoption funds, sees a great opportunity to witness to the world of God’s provision and priorities. “I think we are living in an economic time when the world will say it is unwise to attempt to adopt because it costs so much. From God's perspective, this is the perfect time for Him to show that He is mighty and able to provide for His people. Many folks get this and are stepping out in faith. And many of their friends and family and churches are not listening to the world and are coming alongside and helping with donations and support. We can praise God for that.”
An Amazing Accomplishment!!!
Today the Southern Baptist Convention (the largest protestant denomination) passed the resolution below (presented by Dr. Russell Moore) on adoption and orphan care! This has huge potential for the sake of the fatherless! Pray that an adoption culture will take root and spread in the churches represented by the SBC. I can’t wait to see what God has in store!
“On Adoption and Orphan Care”
WHEREAS, in the gospel we have received the “Spirit of adoption” whereby we are no longer spiritual orphans but are now beloved children of God and joint heirs with Christ
(John 14:18; Rom. 8:12-25; Gal. 3:27-4:9; Eph. 1:5); and
WHEREAS, the God we now know as our Father reveals himself as a “father of the fatherless” (Ps. 68:5) who grants mercy to orphans (Deut. 10:18; Hos. 14:3); and
WHEREAS, our Lord Jesus welcomes the little ones (Luke 18:15-17), pleads for the lives of the innocent (Ps. 72:12-14), and shows us that we will be held accountable for our response to “the least of these my brethren” (Matt. 25:40); and
WHEREAS, the Scripture defines “pure and undefiled religion” as “to visit orphans and widows in their trouble” (Jas. 1:27); and
WHEREAS, the satanic powers have warred against infants and children from Pharaoh to Moloch to Herod and, now, through the horrors of a divorce culture, an abortion industry, and the global plagues of disease, starvation, and warfare; and
WHEREAS, Southern Baptists have articulated an unequivocal commitment to the sanctity of all human life, born and unborn; and
WHEREAS, a denomination of churches defined by the Great Commission must be concerned for the evangelism of children—including those who have no parents; and
WHEREAS, upward of 150 million orphans now languish without families in orphanages, group homes, and placement systems in North America and around the world; and
WHEREAS, our Father loves all of these children, and a great multitude of them will never otherwise hear the gospel of Jesus Christ; therefore, be it
RESOLVED, that the messengers to the Southern Baptist Convention meeting in Louisville, Kentucky, June 23-24, 2009, express our commitment as a denomination of churches to join our Father in seeking mercy for orphans; and be it further
RESOLVED, that we call on each Southern Baptist family to pray for guidance as to whether God is calling them to adopt or foster a child or children; and be it further
RESOLVED, that we encourage our pastors and church leaders to preach and teach on God’s concern for orphans; and be it further
RESOLVED, that we commend churches and ministries that are equipping families to provide financial and other resources to those called to adopt, through grants, matching funds, or loans; and be it further
RESOLVED, that we ask our International Mission Board and North American Mission Board to prioritize the evangelism of and ministry to orphans around the world, and to seek out ways to energize Southern Baptists behind this mission; and be it further
RESOLVED, that we encourage Southern Baptist churches to join with other evangelical Christians in recognizing November 8, 2009, as “Orphan Sunday,” focusing that day on our adoption in Christ and our common burden for the orphans of the world; and be it further
RESOLVED, that we hope what God is doing in creating an adoption culture in so many churches and families can point us to a gospel oneness that is defined not by “the flesh” racial, economic, or cultural sameness but by the Spirit unity and peace in Christ Jesus; and be it finally
RESOLVED, that we pray for an outpouring of God’s Spirit on Southern Baptist congregations so that our churches increasingly will announce and picture, in word and in deed, that “Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world.”
SBC messengers enthusiastically support Moore’s resolution on adoption
by Jeff Robinson on June 25th, 2009
in News
Messengers at the 2009 annual meeting of The Southern Baptist Convention in Louisville on Wednesday overwhelmingly passed a resolution proposed by Russell D. Moore promoting adoption and orphan care.
The resolution encouraged every Southern Baptist family to pray about whether God wants them to adopt or provide foster care for a child or children. It also called on Southern Baptist and other evangelical churches to devote a Sunday each year to emphasize “our adoption in Christ and our common burden for the orphans of the world.”
Moore, who serves as senior vice president for academic administration and dean of the School of Theology at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, knows well of which he proposed; Moore and his wife Maria adopted two sons from a Russian orphanage a few years ago.
Moore hopes the resolution will provoke deep thinking that leads to action among Southern Baptists regarding the Gospel significance of adoption and orphan care; all who are saved by God’s grace were once orphans who were adopted into the Kingdom of Christ.
The number of adoptions among evangelicals has steadily increased in recent years, yet the need is profound: in the United States alone, more than 500,000 children were in foster care system in 2005, the last year for which federal statistics were available. About 115,000 were waiting for adoption.
“Something is afoot among Christian families and churches of virtually every kind,” Moore said. “God is calling the people of Christ to see the face of Jesus in the faces of orphans in North America and around the world. Southern Baptists have affirmed our belief in the authority of Scripture, and the Bible tells us pure religion is defined by care for the fatherless.
“We’ve been defined by our commitment to evangelism, and there is no greater field as `white unto harvest’ right now as children in orphanages, group homes, and the foster care system, children who don’t know a parent’s love and who don’t know the name of Jesus. When Satan wars against children, we should be the ones who have compassion on them, even as Jesus did and does.
Moore authored a deeply personal and compellingly theological book on adoption that was published in May by Crossway books, “Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches.” In it, Moore argues that the church should view the adoption of orphans as a crucial part of its mission precisely because God has adopted helpless sinners to be His sons.
“The resolution by itself isn’t going to spark an orphan care movement among Southern Baptists,” he said. “Neither is my book, and neither are a thousand manifestoes. Only the Holy Spirit can do that as local churches start to embrace a vision for orphan care.
“The resolution though was meant to prompt some questions. If one messenger in the Convention hall is moved to simply pray, ‘Lord, how would you have me minister to orphans?’ then the resolution is a success, in my view. If one pastor is prompted to ponder how he could preach on adoption, or lead a foster care ministry among his folks, then the work is starting.
During the introduction of the resolution, Moore appeared on stage with Timothy and Benjamin, the sons he and his wife adopted seven years ago. More than 8,000 messengers met the resolution and its unanimous passage with lengthy, enthusiastic applause.
“I was overwhelmed with emotion on the platform to see my sons, two little ex-orphans, looking out on a sea of yellow ballots as thousands of Southern Baptists affirmed that we want to be the people who love fatherless children,” he said.
“I realized that, in an alternative story, my boys would still be in an orphanage, not knowing even the name of Christ Jesus. But here they are, at the Southern Baptist Convention, calling by their very presence the world’s largest Protestant denomination to recognize there are hundreds of thousands of children as helpless and alone as they once were.
“My prayer is that twenty years from now there are thousands of Southern Baptist pastors, missionaries, and church leaders who started their lives as orphans, now preaching the gospel of God their Father.”
“On Adoption and Orphan Care”
WHEREAS, in the gospel we have received the “Spirit of adoption” whereby we are no longer spiritual orphans but are now beloved children of God and joint heirs with Christ
(John 14:18; Rom. 8:12-25; Gal. 3:27-4:9; Eph. 1:5); and
WHEREAS, the God we now know as our Father reveals himself as a “father of the fatherless” (Ps. 68:5) who grants mercy to orphans (Deut. 10:18; Hos. 14:3); and
WHEREAS, our Lord Jesus welcomes the little ones (Luke 18:15-17), pleads for the lives of the innocent (Ps. 72:12-14), and shows us that we will be held accountable for our response to “the least of these my brethren” (Matt. 25:40); and
WHEREAS, the Scripture defines “pure and undefiled religion” as “to visit orphans and widows in their trouble” (Jas. 1:27); and
WHEREAS, the satanic powers have warred against infants and children from Pharaoh to Moloch to Herod and, now, through the horrors of a divorce culture, an abortion industry, and the global plagues of disease, starvation, and warfare; and
WHEREAS, Southern Baptists have articulated an unequivocal commitment to the sanctity of all human life, born and unborn; and
WHEREAS, a denomination of churches defined by the Great Commission must be concerned for the evangelism of children—including those who have no parents; and
WHEREAS, upward of 150 million orphans now languish without families in orphanages, group homes, and placement systems in North America and around the world; and
WHEREAS, our Father loves all of these children, and a great multitude of them will never otherwise hear the gospel of Jesus Christ; therefore, be it
RESOLVED, that the messengers to the Southern Baptist Convention meeting in Louisville, Kentucky, June 23-24, 2009, express our commitment as a denomination of churches to join our Father in seeking mercy for orphans; and be it further
RESOLVED, that we call on each Southern Baptist family to pray for guidance as to whether God is calling them to adopt or foster a child or children; and be it further
RESOLVED, that we encourage our pastors and church leaders to preach and teach on God’s concern for orphans; and be it further
RESOLVED, that we commend churches and ministries that are equipping families to provide financial and other resources to those called to adopt, through grants, matching funds, or loans; and be it further
RESOLVED, that we ask our International Mission Board and North American Mission Board to prioritize the evangelism of and ministry to orphans around the world, and to seek out ways to energize Southern Baptists behind this mission; and be it further
RESOLVED, that we encourage Southern Baptist churches to join with other evangelical Christians in recognizing November 8, 2009, as “Orphan Sunday,” focusing that day on our adoption in Christ and our common burden for the orphans of the world; and be it further
RESOLVED, that we hope what God is doing in creating an adoption culture in so many churches and families can point us to a gospel oneness that is defined not by “the flesh” racial, economic, or cultural sameness but by the Spirit unity and peace in Christ Jesus; and be it finally
RESOLVED, that we pray for an outpouring of God’s Spirit on Southern Baptist congregations so that our churches increasingly will announce and picture, in word and in deed, that “Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world.”
SBC messengers enthusiastically support Moore’s resolution on adoption
by Jeff Robinson on June 25th, 2009
in News
Messengers at the 2009 annual meeting of The Southern Baptist Convention in Louisville on Wednesday overwhelmingly passed a resolution proposed by Russell D. Moore promoting adoption and orphan care.
The resolution encouraged every Southern Baptist family to pray about whether God wants them to adopt or provide foster care for a child or children. It also called on Southern Baptist and other evangelical churches to devote a Sunday each year to emphasize “our adoption in Christ and our common burden for the orphans of the world.”
Moore, who serves as senior vice president for academic administration and dean of the School of Theology at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, knows well of which he proposed; Moore and his wife Maria adopted two sons from a Russian orphanage a few years ago.
Moore hopes the resolution will provoke deep thinking that leads to action among Southern Baptists regarding the Gospel significance of adoption and orphan care; all who are saved by God’s grace were once orphans who were adopted into the Kingdom of Christ.
The number of adoptions among evangelicals has steadily increased in recent years, yet the need is profound: in the United States alone, more than 500,000 children were in foster care system in 2005, the last year for which federal statistics were available. About 115,000 were waiting for adoption.
“Something is afoot among Christian families and churches of virtually every kind,” Moore said. “God is calling the people of Christ to see the face of Jesus in the faces of orphans in North America and around the world. Southern Baptists have affirmed our belief in the authority of Scripture, and the Bible tells us pure religion is defined by care for the fatherless.
“We’ve been defined by our commitment to evangelism, and there is no greater field as `white unto harvest’ right now as children in orphanages, group homes, and the foster care system, children who don’t know a parent’s love and who don’t know the name of Jesus. When Satan wars against children, we should be the ones who have compassion on them, even as Jesus did and does.
Moore authored a deeply personal and compellingly theological book on adoption that was published in May by Crossway books, “Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches.” In it, Moore argues that the church should view the adoption of orphans as a crucial part of its mission precisely because God has adopted helpless sinners to be His sons.
“The resolution by itself isn’t going to spark an orphan care movement among Southern Baptists,” he said. “Neither is my book, and neither are a thousand manifestoes. Only the Holy Spirit can do that as local churches start to embrace a vision for orphan care.
“The resolution though was meant to prompt some questions. If one messenger in the Convention hall is moved to simply pray, ‘Lord, how would you have me minister to orphans?’ then the resolution is a success, in my view. If one pastor is prompted to ponder how he could preach on adoption, or lead a foster care ministry among his folks, then the work is starting.
During the introduction of the resolution, Moore appeared on stage with Timothy and Benjamin, the sons he and his wife adopted seven years ago. More than 8,000 messengers met the resolution and its unanimous passage with lengthy, enthusiastic applause.
“I was overwhelmed with emotion on the platform to see my sons, two little ex-orphans, looking out on a sea of yellow ballots as thousands of Southern Baptists affirmed that we want to be the people who love fatherless children,” he said.
“I realized that, in an alternative story, my boys would still be in an orphanage, not knowing even the name of Christ Jesus. But here they are, at the Southern Baptist Convention, calling by their very presence the world’s largest Protestant denomination to recognize there are hundreds of thousands of children as helpless and alone as they once were.
“My prayer is that twenty years from now there are thousands of Southern Baptist pastors, missionaries, and church leaders who started their lives as orphans, now preaching the gospel of God their Father.”
I CAME TO YOU AS AN ORPHAN
I came to you in a time of great need.
You had no place for me.
I came to spend time with you, so that you might know me better
and you were too busy for me.
I came to you as an orphan child in need of love
and you could not be bothered.
What I saw was the real condition of your heart.
I saw that you were unwilling to sacrifice anything of true cost.
You value your comfort above all
and your faith consists of what you can see.
How I long for you to truly trust me.
Time and time again I cry out to you in the guise of someone in need.
Over and over you pray me that you want to know me better.
I present you with the opportunity and you do not recognize me.
Oh, how I long for you to truly understand who I really am.
I am the orphan,
I am the widow,
I am the person you walk by and refuse to look at.
I am the hungry, the oppressed, the sick and the homeless.
It isn't that I can't live without you - it is you that can't live without me.
They exist so that you will know me.
Your response to the need is a reflection of your heart.
Loving God is first, but loving others as you love yourself is next.
Are you willing to love the orphan as you love your own child?
Are you willing to care for others as you would yourself?
Until you understand this, you will always long to know me in a deeper way.
You will never understand joy, until you understand the need.
You had no place for me.
I came to spend time with you, so that you might know me better
and you were too busy for me.
I came to you as an orphan child in need of love
and you could not be bothered.
What I saw was the real condition of your heart.
I saw that you were unwilling to sacrifice anything of true cost.
You value your comfort above all
and your faith consists of what you can see.
How I long for you to truly trust me.
Time and time again I cry out to you in the guise of someone in need.
Over and over you pray me that you want to know me better.
I present you with the opportunity and you do not recognize me.
Oh, how I long for you to truly understand who I really am.
I am the orphan,
I am the widow,
I am the person you walk by and refuse to look at.
I am the hungry, the oppressed, the sick and the homeless.
It isn't that I can't live without you - it is you that can't live without me.
They exist so that you will know me.
Your response to the need is a reflection of your heart.
Loving God is first, but loving others as you love yourself is next.
Are you willing to love the orphan as you love your own child?
Are you willing to care for others as you would yourself?
Until you understand this, you will always long to know me in a deeper way.
You will never understand joy, until you understand the need.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Bittersweet day
Today I was watching our little Ukrainian visitor, V, play with my 7yo daughter, Lauren. They were playing in the sprinkler and the blow up pool in our back yard. Both of the children were having a blast - laughing so hard.
As I watched them I began to chuckle and then laugh, and then my laughter turned to tears as I thought about V's future. One child, was an orphan and one child is still an orphan. I tell my kids all the time that life isn't fair - but it me today how much it really isn't.
I know deep down that God loves V as much as he loves Lauren. He wants no less for him than what He wants for her....Tonight V asked to stay up for 5 more minutes to read the Russian Bible that was a gift to my girls. He smiled, kissed the book and began to read. I am not sure what he read but I picked the story that had pictures of children around Jesus. I said that I love Jesus and he smiled and said he did too.
I want so much for this little boy to find a family that will help him to grow up to be the Godly man that God wants him to be. But what can I do? There are so many people that are unwilling to step out in faith to help the children that God loves. The cost - too high, the trip - too long, too....... the list goes on. I love the quote that Tom Davis uses in his book RED LETTERS: Living A Faith That Bleeds. "Sometimes I get discouraged when I think of the magnitude of need in our world and then see how many Christ-followers remain stuck to their chairs. I am heartbroken when I hear the ROARING SILENCE of a church unwilling to speak up for the voiceless masses."
It is a great book and I would highly recommend it. A sad statement about the church. Another observation I have made in the past few years is that it is the people that have the least that are willing to spend the most to help others. Most of my families that I have helped to adopt have an income in the range of $40-75,000. There have been some with higher incomes, but without a doubt the majority have little to spare but are willing. What does that say about us?
So - my point was that today was bittersweet. I had the opportunity to bring joy and laughter to one of the children that God claims as his, watching a former Ukrainian orphan play with present-day Ukrainian orphan. They both laughed and had a great time. Next month, the former orphan will still be tucked in bed by me - but who will listen to the present-day orphan read his bible? Tuck him in to bed, teach him about Jesus?
Please God - let someone....
As I watched them I began to chuckle and then laugh, and then my laughter turned to tears as I thought about V's future. One child, was an orphan and one child is still an orphan. I tell my kids all the time that life isn't fair - but it me today how much it really isn't.
I know deep down that God loves V as much as he loves Lauren. He wants no less for him than what He wants for her....Tonight V asked to stay up for 5 more minutes to read the Russian Bible that was a gift to my girls. He smiled, kissed the book and began to read. I am not sure what he read but I picked the story that had pictures of children around Jesus. I said that I love Jesus and he smiled and said he did too.
I want so much for this little boy to find a family that will help him to grow up to be the Godly man that God wants him to be. But what can I do? There are so many people that are unwilling to step out in faith to help the children that God loves. The cost - too high, the trip - too long, too....... the list goes on. I love the quote that Tom Davis uses in his book RED LETTERS: Living A Faith That Bleeds. "Sometimes I get discouraged when I think of the magnitude of need in our world and then see how many Christ-followers remain stuck to their chairs. I am heartbroken when I hear the ROARING SILENCE of a church unwilling to speak up for the voiceless masses."
It is a great book and I would highly recommend it. A sad statement about the church. Another observation I have made in the past few years is that it is the people that have the least that are willing to spend the most to help others. Most of my families that I have helped to adopt have an income in the range of $40-75,000. There have been some with higher incomes, but without a doubt the majority have little to spare but are willing. What does that say about us?
So - my point was that today was bittersweet. I had the opportunity to bring joy and laughter to one of the children that God claims as his, watching a former Ukrainian orphan play with present-day Ukrainian orphan. They both laughed and had a great time. Next month, the former orphan will still be tucked in bed by me - but who will listen to the present-day orphan read his bible? Tuck him in to bed, teach him about Jesus?
Please God - let someone....
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Very Beautiful Story: Saved - Nikolas's Story
http://www.irvingbible.org/fileadmin/ibc/ministries/community_care/tapestry/resources/Save_By_Adoption.pdf
Please take the time to read this beautiful story about adoption and "saving" a child.
Please take the time to read this beautiful story about adoption and "saving" a child.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Quote from Fields of the Fatherless
"God gave us the responsibility to care for the defenseless to those claiming to be followers of Christ. It is through our hands the Father's love comes, it is through our voices His voice is heard, it is through our efforts and those of the church that His care is revealed to the ones the rest of the world has forgotten."
C Thomas Davis, Fields of the Fatherless
C Thomas Davis, Fields of the Fatherless
A few things the Bible says about Orphans...
Psalm 68:5-6a “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…” (NIV)
Psalm 10:14, 17-18 “But you do see the trouble and grief they cause. You take note of it and punish them. The helpless put their trust in you. You are the defender of orphans LORD, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will listen to their cries and comfort them. You will bring justice to the orphans and the oppressed, so people can no longer terrify them.”
Proverbs 23:10-11 “Don't steal the land of defenseless orphans by moving the ancient boundary markers, for their Redeemer is strong. He himself will bring their charges against you.”
Deuteronomy 10:17-19 “For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing. He shows love to the foreigners living among you and gives them food and clothing. And you are to love those who are aliens for you yourselves were aliens in Egypt." (NIV)
Isaiah 1:16-17 “Wash yourselves and be clean! Let me no longer see your evil deeds. Give up your wicked ways. Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the orphan. Fight for the rights of widows.”
James 1:27 “Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us.”
Job 29:12-16 "Whoever heard me spoke well of me, and those who saw me commended me,
because I rescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him.
The man who was dying blessed me; I made the widow's heart sing. I put on righteousness as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban. I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. I was a father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger."
Adopted Children of the Bible
Moses (Ex 2:10), Samuel (1 Samuel 2:1), Esther (Esther 2:7), Jesus (Matt 1)
Psalm 10:14, 17-18 “But you do see the trouble and grief they cause. You take note of it and punish them. The helpless put their trust in you. You are the defender of orphans LORD, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will listen to their cries and comfort them. You will bring justice to the orphans and the oppressed, so people can no longer terrify them.”
Proverbs 23:10-11 “Don't steal the land of defenseless orphans by moving the ancient boundary markers, for their Redeemer is strong. He himself will bring their charges against you.”
Deuteronomy 10:17-19 “For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing. He shows love to the foreigners living among you and gives them food and clothing. And you are to love those who are aliens for you yourselves were aliens in Egypt." (NIV)
Isaiah 1:16-17 “Wash yourselves and be clean! Let me no longer see your evil deeds. Give up your wicked ways. Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the orphan. Fight for the rights of widows.”
James 1:27 “Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us.”
Job 29:12-16 "Whoever heard me spoke well of me, and those who saw me commended me,
because I rescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him.
The man who was dying blessed me; I made the widow's heart sing. I put on righteousness as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban. I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame. I was a father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger."
Adopted Children of the Bible
Moses (Ex 2:10), Samuel (1 Samuel 2:1), Esther (Esther 2:7), Jesus (Matt 1)
Quote by Dennis Rainey on Adoption and the Great Commission
“We have been blessed with so much, yet too often we squander these blessings on our personal pursuits without a thought that God gives us these things to use for his Kingdom. Yet I believe the adoption of orphans is one of the greatest opportunities today for fulfilling the Great Commission. When children are received into families where they are introduced to the Savior, and grow up in a secure and loving environment, they are positioned to meet and experience the living God in a tangible way.” — Dennis Rainey, president and cofounder of FamilyLife
“Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from My sight. Cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.” — Isaiah 1:16-17
“Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from My sight. Cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.” — Isaiah 1:16-17
Excerpt from Christian Parenting Today interview with Steven Curtis Chapman
CPT: How can families discern if adoption is right for them?
Steven: If you've had the thought, there's only one person who would put that in your mind—the Father to the fatherless. Just having the idea indicates God's inviting you to something. Perhaps it's an invitation to support adoptive families waiting for grant money to adopt; perhaps it's more.
Every time I've brought this to God, I've said, "This doesn't make sense. I don't want to make a mistake. I don't want to do this for selfish reasons." It was as though I heard God chuckle and say, Do you really think this idea is from Satan - to adopt an orphan and bring her into a Christian home? When you look at it that way, even when adoption doesn't make common sense, it makes spiritual sense.
This is what God's called us to. He doesn't necessarily call everyone to international adoption, but I believe everyone's invited to care for orphans and widows. I know from our experience that when we accept that invitation, God blesses it.
After we adopted Shaoey, if anyone had asked me if we'd adopt again, I would have said, "No, this is it." But one Sunday at church, God knocked me on my rear. Our good friends have four biological children and four adopted, and have gone through some hard times with these kids. That particular Sunday morning, they were having their three youngest children dedicated, including a child they'd just adopted from China. I knew all the tough times they'd already been through, and here they'd gone and adopted another child! As this family stood before the congregation and the pastor talked about how faithful they had been, God clearly showed me this was a picture of his family. He told me, If you want to be part of what I do, this is it.
It was as though the Father had put his arm around me and said, "I want us to do something together. It's going to be hard, and if I have to, I'll carry you, but it's going to be awesome." I left church that day knowing that our family would keep growing. And we wouldn't change that for the world.
For the full interview with Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman: http://www.christianitytoday.com/momsense/2004/winter/1.26.html?start=1
Steven: If you've had the thought, there's only one person who would put that in your mind—the Father to the fatherless. Just having the idea indicates God's inviting you to something. Perhaps it's an invitation to support adoptive families waiting for grant money to adopt; perhaps it's more.
Every time I've brought this to God, I've said, "This doesn't make sense. I don't want to make a mistake. I don't want to do this for selfish reasons." It was as though I heard God chuckle and say, Do you really think this idea is from Satan - to adopt an orphan and bring her into a Christian home? When you look at it that way, even when adoption doesn't make common sense, it makes spiritual sense.
This is what God's called us to. He doesn't necessarily call everyone to international adoption, but I believe everyone's invited to care for orphans and widows. I know from our experience that when we accept that invitation, God blesses it.
After we adopted Shaoey, if anyone had asked me if we'd adopt again, I would have said, "No, this is it." But one Sunday at church, God knocked me on my rear. Our good friends have four biological children and four adopted, and have gone through some hard times with these kids. That particular Sunday morning, they were having their three youngest children dedicated, including a child they'd just adopted from China. I knew all the tough times they'd already been through, and here they'd gone and adopted another child! As this family stood before the congregation and the pastor talked about how faithful they had been, God clearly showed me this was a picture of his family. He told me, If you want to be part of what I do, this is it.
It was as though the Father had put his arm around me and said, "I want us to do something together. It's going to be hard, and if I have to, I'll carry you, but it's going to be awesome." I left church that day knowing that our family would keep growing. And we wouldn't change that for the world.
For the full interview with Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman: http://www.christianitytoday.com/momsense/2004/winter/1.26.html?start=1
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Passionate about Orphans
Recently, I was told that my passion for the fatherless had bowled someone over. While it was not meant exactly as a compliment – I am choosing to take it as one. After mulling over those words I came home and looked up the definition of passion :
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin passion-, passio suffering, being acted upon, from Latin pati to suffer — more at patient
1often capitalized a: the sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death b: an oratorio based on a gospel narrative of the Passion 2obsolete : suffering3: the state or capacity of being acted on by external agents or forces4 a (1): emotion(2)plural : the emotions as distinguished from reason b: intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction c: an outbreak of anger5 a: ardent affection : love b: a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept c: an object of desire or deep interest
synonyms passion, fervor, ardor, enthusiasm, zeal mean intense emotion compelling action. passion applies to an emotion that is deeply stirring or ungovernable. fervor implies a warm and steady emotion . ardor suggests warm and excited feeling likely to be fitful or short-lived . enthusiasm applies to lively or eager interest in or admiration for a proposal, cause, or activity . zeal implies energetic and unflagging pursuit of an aim or devotion to a cause .
In reading this I was amazed to see that the definition of passion was linked to what Jesus went through for us (Passion of the Christ). I am in no way saying that my passion is equal or even comparable to that of Jesus – but that passion mattered to Jesus or He would not have done what he did for us.
Yes, I am passionate. I have an intense, driving feeling about orphans and adoption. I am enthusiastic about sharing the Biblical perspective on adoption, and I am zealous about sharing the orphan’s plight. I am unapologetically passionate, enthusiastic and zealous for children that have no one to love them, care for them, shape them and give them the security that every child deserves and most take for granted.
Several years ago in doing spiritual gifts tests, I have also discovered my strongest spiritual gift is compassion – which broken down is to bear (com) and one’s suffering (passion) or to have a deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.. In a Bible summary on the definition of compassion it shared that God’s character embodied compassion and defines it as the kind of compassion that is not just about talk and feelings but is full of action. I pray that is the kind of compassion that people see in me – that the children I champion see.
Is my passion always mature? No – I recognize that I am sometimes over-zealous, over-enthusiastic, and too passionate about what I do. That is something that I have to put in God’s hands daily – but it scares me as to how apathetic so many Christians are to the fatherless. Recently a family shared that when talking to their leadership team at their church about their desire to adopt – that one of the pastors cautioned them that it was a demonic interruption in God’s plan for their ministry. I don’t remember seeing God using the terminology “demonic interruption” anywhere in the Bible to describe orphans, adoption, children or caring for the needy. In fact, I remember Jesus did the opposite – he told the disciples to bring the children to him after they tried to send them away. Jesus made time to minister to the children and he blessed them.
In conclusion, I am proud to admit to being passionate about orphans and adoption. I believe that passion has helped 90+ children come in to loving Christian families, and I pray that more will follow. I personally view that passion as a God-given gift. Once in a small group of women, we wrote down questions as an ice breaker and the question I wrote is, “What you are passionate about?”. The lady that got my question commented that she was content where she was and she wasn’t really “passionate” about anything. I feel sorry for her – I think that our passion is linked to our ministry and to the very reason that God created us. My prayer is that all would find that passion within and do what God purposed it for.
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin passion-, passio suffering, being acted upon, from Latin pati to suffer — more at patient
1often capitalized a: the sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death b: an oratorio based on a gospel narrative of the Passion 2obsolete : suffering3: the state or capacity of being acted on by external agents or forces4 a (1): emotion
synonyms passion, fervor, ardor, enthusiasm, zeal mean intense emotion compelling action. passion applies to an emotion that is deeply stirring or ungovernable
In reading this I was amazed to see that the definition of passion was linked to what Jesus went through for us (Passion of the Christ). I am in no way saying that my passion is equal or even comparable to that of Jesus – but that passion mattered to Jesus or He would not have done what he did for us.
Yes, I am passionate. I have an intense, driving feeling about orphans and adoption. I am enthusiastic about sharing the Biblical perspective on adoption, and I am zealous about sharing the orphan’s plight. I am unapologetically passionate, enthusiastic and zealous for children that have no one to love them, care for them, shape them and give them the security that every child deserves and most take for granted.
Several years ago in doing spiritual gifts tests, I have also discovered my strongest spiritual gift is compassion – which broken down is to bear (com) and one’s suffering (passion) or to have a deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.. In a Bible summary on the definition of compassion it shared that God’s character embodied compassion and defines it as the kind of compassion that is not just about talk and feelings but is full of action. I pray that is the kind of compassion that people see in me – that the children I champion see.
Is my passion always mature? No – I recognize that I am sometimes over-zealous, over-enthusiastic, and too passionate about what I do. That is something that I have to put in God’s hands daily – but it scares me as to how apathetic so many Christians are to the fatherless. Recently a family shared that when talking to their leadership team at their church about their desire to adopt – that one of the pastors cautioned them that it was a demonic interruption in God’s plan for their ministry. I don’t remember seeing God using the terminology “demonic interruption” anywhere in the Bible to describe orphans, adoption, children or caring for the needy. In fact, I remember Jesus did the opposite – he told the disciples to bring the children to him after they tried to send them away. Jesus made time to minister to the children and he blessed them.
In conclusion, I am proud to admit to being passionate about orphans and adoption. I believe that passion has helped 90+ children come in to loving Christian families, and I pray that more will follow. I personally view that passion as a God-given gift. Once in a small group of women, we wrote down questions as an ice breaker and the question I wrote is, “What you are passionate about?”. The lady that got my question commented that she was content where she was and she wasn’t really “passionate” about anything. I feel sorry for her – I think that our passion is linked to our ministry and to the very reason that God created us. My prayer is that all would find that passion within and do what God purposed it for.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
ADOPTION BY GRACE - DECIDING TO ADOPT
I found this on the ABBA Blog (listed) - I thought it was great!!!
http://www.adoption-by-grace.com/decision.html The website was wonderful!!!!
How do I make the decision about adopting a child?
Decision Support
Choosing to adopt can be an uncomfortable mix of fact-based prudence and faith-based risk taking. It can feel murky and uncertain. We experience moments of confidence followed by days of insecurity.
The good news is that through all this discomfort, God can meet us and make our faith grow. The process of coming to a decision is an important part of the journey. Here are some questions you may be asking.
“Adoption is risky. Should I take this risk?”
Be wise
Every prudent man acts out of knowledge, but a fool exposes his folly…A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.(Proverbs 13:16, 14:15). God tells us to carefully consider the cost of our decisions. Do not rush into an adoption during a moment of compassion for a needy child. Adoption is a life-long commitment that demands much sacrifice. It is wise to research, think and pray before deciding to adopt.
Exercise faith
Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:39) God tells us to be prudent, but he also tells us to live sacrificially for others, and to move beyond the realm of cold, hard facts and live by faith in the unseen. If thinking about God’s love for orphans has led to your feeling a nudge to adopt a child, this could be the leading of God. It may be time for you to step out in faith, in spite of risks.
Trust God’s guidance
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me…If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him (John 10:27, James 1:5). God is pleased when we ask for his guidance. You can be confident that he will lead you as you go to him with your adoption decision.
Trust God's sovereignty
God is working out everything in conformity to the purpose of His will. Even the decisions that we freely make are according to His plan. This actually frees us to decide to adopt or not to adopt. If we choose not to adopt, we can be confident that God has other good work for us which He prepared in advance for us to do. Read more.
“I feel differently about adoption than my spouse.”
Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Submission in this situation includes respectfully and sincerely listening to each other. It also includes being open to the possibility of God leading you through the convictions of your husband or wife.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4) Keep focused on God and his lavish love as you together wait for his guidance.
Read and pray together. Family Life’s Hope for Orphans ministry has written “Considering Adoption: A Biblical Perspective”, a five-week small group study designed to help couples explore God’s perspective on making an adoption decision. These studies include the common dynamic of husband and wife being at different places in their thinking about adoption.
Look for blessing in the process. Remember that God has put you with your spouse, and that he can bring good to both of you through this decision – even through your different perspectives and desires.
“Should I adopt an older child? What about special needs children?"
Acknowledge the difficulty of the decision. Many older children long to belong to a family. Many children with particular medical, educational or emotional needs would have many more possibilities if they were in a loving family. It is hard to look into the faces of these children and turn away. But it is also hard to predict how we would handle their care over a lifetime.
Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the LORD delivers him in times of trouble. (Psalm 41:1). God delights to honor broken people. He chooses the foolish, weak, lowly and despised things of this world to show his glory (1 Corinthians 1:27-29). When you follow him into the lives of the vulnerable, he will give you special blessing.
Use available resources. Every year, more literature and educational opportunities to help us understand child development and other issues that affect parents of special needs children. These can help you make an informed decision about adopting a child, and they can help you raise your children to their full potential once they are home with you.
“It is too expensive.”
Adoption from the foster care system is virtually free and can also include financial aid for counseling and medical expenses.
For private and international adoptions, the 2009 federal tax credit was $12,150 for families who adopt a child.
More and more foundations have been set up to help families with the financial costs of adoption. Click here for more information.
Be prudent and wise about your situation, but also remember that God’s resources are inexhaustible. To the LORD your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it. (Deuteronomy 10:14)
“I really wanted biological children. I don’t know if I will be able to love an adopted child as much.”
Feeling loss from infertility is normal. God understands our grief. For thoughts on adoption after infertility, read “Second Choice, not Second Best.”
"How can I choose an adoption agency?"
Here are some thoughts about choosing an adoption agency.
http://www.adoption-by-grace.com/decision.html The website was wonderful!!!!
How do I make the decision about adopting a child?
Decision Support
Choosing to adopt can be an uncomfortable mix of fact-based prudence and faith-based risk taking. It can feel murky and uncertain. We experience moments of confidence followed by days of insecurity.
The good news is that through all this discomfort, God can meet us and make our faith grow. The process of coming to a decision is an important part of the journey. Here are some questions you may be asking.
“Adoption is risky. Should I take this risk?”
Be wise
Every prudent man acts out of knowledge, but a fool exposes his folly…A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.(Proverbs 13:16, 14:15). God tells us to carefully consider the cost of our decisions. Do not rush into an adoption during a moment of compassion for a needy child. Adoption is a life-long commitment that demands much sacrifice. It is wise to research, think and pray before deciding to adopt.
Exercise faith
Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:39) God tells us to be prudent, but he also tells us to live sacrificially for others, and to move beyond the realm of cold, hard facts and live by faith in the unseen. If thinking about God’s love for orphans has led to your feeling a nudge to adopt a child, this could be the leading of God. It may be time for you to step out in faith, in spite of risks.
Trust God’s guidance
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me…If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him (John 10:27, James 1:5). God is pleased when we ask for his guidance. You can be confident that he will lead you as you go to him with your adoption decision.
Trust God's sovereignty
God is working out everything in conformity to the purpose of His will. Even the decisions that we freely make are according to His plan. This actually frees us to decide to adopt or not to adopt. If we choose not to adopt, we can be confident that God has other good work for us which He prepared in advance for us to do. Read more.
“I feel differently about adoption than my spouse.”
Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Submission in this situation includes respectfully and sincerely listening to each other. It also includes being open to the possibility of God leading you through the convictions of your husband or wife.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4) Keep focused on God and his lavish love as you together wait for his guidance.
Read and pray together. Family Life’s Hope for Orphans ministry has written “Considering Adoption: A Biblical Perspective”, a five-week small group study designed to help couples explore God’s perspective on making an adoption decision. These studies include the common dynamic of husband and wife being at different places in their thinking about adoption.
Look for blessing in the process. Remember that God has put you with your spouse, and that he can bring good to both of you through this decision – even through your different perspectives and desires.
“Should I adopt an older child? What about special needs children?"
Acknowledge the difficulty of the decision. Many older children long to belong to a family. Many children with particular medical, educational or emotional needs would have many more possibilities if they were in a loving family. It is hard to look into the faces of these children and turn away. But it is also hard to predict how we would handle their care over a lifetime.
Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the LORD delivers him in times of trouble. (Psalm 41:1). God delights to honor broken people. He chooses the foolish, weak, lowly and despised things of this world to show his glory (1 Corinthians 1:27-29). When you follow him into the lives of the vulnerable, he will give you special blessing.
Use available resources. Every year, more literature and educational opportunities to help us understand child development and other issues that affect parents of special needs children. These can help you make an informed decision about adopting a child, and they can help you raise your children to their full potential once they are home with you.
“It is too expensive.”
Adoption from the foster care system is virtually free and can also include financial aid for counseling and medical expenses.
For private and international adoptions, the 2009 federal tax credit was $12,150 for families who adopt a child.
More and more foundations have been set up to help families with the financial costs of adoption. Click here for more information.
Be prudent and wise about your situation, but also remember that God’s resources are inexhaustible. To the LORD your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it. (Deuteronomy 10:14)
“I really wanted biological children. I don’t know if I will be able to love an adopted child as much.”
Feeling loss from infertility is normal. God understands our grief. For thoughts on adoption after infertility, read “Second Choice, not Second Best.”
"How can I choose an adoption agency?"
Here are some thoughts about choosing an adoption agency.
My Devotional and Our Logical Thinking
I felt my devotional today was pretty significant to the ministry I do. I hear so many families weigh their decisions on "PROS and CONS" and tell me why or why they can not consider adoption.
I feel God already tells us in the Bible what to do for orphans and those in need (many, many times)- I feel it is a more about a decision not necessarily a calling (I wholeheartedly agree with Dr. David's previous post). With that said - I do however feel that not every one can adopt but many more could if they were able to step away from their excuses as to why they shouldn't (finances, time, travel, ...). My personal feeling and experience is that it will only serve to enhance your relationship with God, stretch your faith, enhance your ministry and sets the example of true religion (according to God not me!).
My husband believes that I can be a bit hard lined about how I feel - I am sure at times he is right - however, God tells us in Isaiah 58:1 - "Shout it aloud, do not hold back. Raise your voice like a trumpet. Declare to my people their rebellion and to the house of Jacob their sins."
Reading below confirms what I already believe - doing what the world thinks as crazy and being in obedience to God - trusting that God has a plan and can take care of the details. I hope that this will speak to someone that is being told that what they are considering doesn't make sense. I pray that God will give you peace and that you will know it isn't about logic but obedience.
Block Logic
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman 05-30-2009
"For this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Houses, fields and vineyards will again be bought in this land" (Jer. 32:15).
In the scriptures we discover a difference in the way the Hebrew mind viewed things compared to the way many Westerners relate to God. Hebrews used something called Block Logic. That is, concepts were expressed in self-contained units or blocks of thought. These blocks did not necessarily fit together in any obvious rational or harmonious pattern.
Greek logic, which has influenced the Western world, was different. The Greeks often used tightly contained step logic which reason a premise to a conclusion, each step linked tightly to the next in coherent, rational, logical fashion.
This is why some Bible stories don't make sense to the western mind. It is particularly difficult for Westerners - those whose thought-patterns have been influenced more by the Greeks and Romans than by the Hebrews - to piece together the block logic of Scripture.
Consider Jeremiah and God's instruction to purchase land in a seemingly inopportune time. If I asked you to purchase some land when you knew that the country you were living in was about to be invaded and you were sure to be placed under arrest, how wise do you believe such an investment would be? Do you believe God would lead you to make such an investment? That is exactly what God told Jeremiah to do. However, God had a good reason for having Jeremiah make such a purchase. It was to be a testimony and a promise that God was going to restore the Jews to their land.
Hebrews made decisions based on obedience. Greeks (and Westerners) often made decisions on logic and reason. If the early church made decisions based on a pro and con method of decision-making, there would be no miracles in the Bible. i.e., such as getting the coin from the fish's mouth, walking around the walls of Jericho to take the city, Peter walking on water, etc.
We are not to question God's instructions. We are simply to obey.
I feel God already tells us in the Bible what to do for orphans and those in need (many, many times)- I feel it is a more about a decision not necessarily a calling (I wholeheartedly agree with Dr. David's previous post). With that said - I do however feel that not every one can adopt but many more could if they were able to step away from their excuses as to why they shouldn't (finances, time, travel, ...). My personal feeling and experience is that it will only serve to enhance your relationship with God, stretch your faith, enhance your ministry and sets the example of true religion (according to God not me!).
My husband believes that I can be a bit hard lined about how I feel - I am sure at times he is right - however, God tells us in Isaiah 58:1 - "Shout it aloud, do not hold back. Raise your voice like a trumpet. Declare to my people their rebellion and to the house of Jacob their sins."
Reading below confirms what I already believe - doing what the world thinks as crazy and being in obedience to God - trusting that God has a plan and can take care of the details. I hope that this will speak to someone that is being told that what they are considering doesn't make sense. I pray that God will give you peace and that you will know it isn't about logic but obedience.
Block Logic
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman 05-30-2009
"For this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Houses, fields and vineyards will again be bought in this land" (Jer. 32:15).
In the scriptures we discover a difference in the way the Hebrew mind viewed things compared to the way many Westerners relate to God. Hebrews used something called Block Logic. That is, concepts were expressed in self-contained units or blocks of thought. These blocks did not necessarily fit together in any obvious rational or harmonious pattern.
Greek logic, which has influenced the Western world, was different. The Greeks often used tightly contained step logic which reason a premise to a conclusion, each step linked tightly to the next in coherent, rational, logical fashion.
This is why some Bible stories don't make sense to the western mind. It is particularly difficult for Westerners - those whose thought-patterns have been influenced more by the Greeks and Romans than by the Hebrews - to piece together the block logic of Scripture.
Consider Jeremiah and God's instruction to purchase land in a seemingly inopportune time. If I asked you to purchase some land when you knew that the country you were living in was about to be invaded and you were sure to be placed under arrest, how wise do you believe such an investment would be? Do you believe God would lead you to make such an investment? That is exactly what God told Jeremiah to do. However, God had a good reason for having Jeremiah make such a purchase. It was to be a testimony and a promise that God was going to restore the Jews to their land.
Hebrews made decisions based on obedience. Greeks (and Westerners) often made decisions on logic and reason. If the early church made decisions based on a pro and con method of decision-making, there would be no miracles in the Bible. i.e., such as getting the coin from the fish's mouth, walking around the walls of Jericho to take the city, Peter walking on water, etc.
We are not to question God's instructions. We are simply to obey.
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