Response to Lady in TN returning adopted Russian boy to Russia

I wish I had more time to put in to this - but I want to quickly address the issue that has hit the headlines about the woman in Tennessee who had adopted a Russian boy, and then sent him back to Russia alone on an airplane with just a note. 

It first angers me - that this woman did not understand that adoption should be viewed as permanent, just like giving birth to a child.  However, as an adoptive mother I do understand the frustration that one can experience in the adjustment of an adopted child.  There have been times I have questioned what I have done by adopting my 4 children - it isn't easy and requires alot of sacrifice.  Some days are good and some aren't, but you have to learn to get through it and if you can't do it by yourself then it is the responsibility of the parent to seek professional help and other resources.

Next, it saddens me that Ms. Hansen was unaware of the resources she had available....  If only she had known that she could have contacted an adoption agency (she should have been able to contact the agency she used to adopt the boy) and let them know of the urgent situation and sought help, an international incident could have been avoided.  A professional adoption agency, like MLJ Adoptions, Inc. which is state licensed and Hague Approved, would have tried to arrange respite care for the boy to give the mother a needed break, discussed the help that was available, and tried to offer workable solutions.  If there were no resolutions that were agreeable, a disruption of adoption could have been done, and a family could have been found to adopt the boy - a win-win situation.  I feel sorry for Ms. Hansen who probably entered the adoption process with stars in her eyes and a "happily ever after" in mind.

Lastly, my heart aches for a little boy that once again has been abandoned, and found not worthy.  Too young to understand that it is not his fault, he will once again try to figure out his place in this life and how to handle the rejection.  My prayer for him is that someone will find him worthy of investing their time and love.  Unfortunately the past can not be undone and there are hundreds of thousands of orphans in Russia and families that are waiting that will likely pay the price.  In the heat of the moment, Ms. Hansen's judgement may have sentenced all of them to a life without the love of a family. 

My advice to pre-adoptive families is to seek education.  As a Hague approved agency, MLJ Adoptions requires for our clients to have at least 10 hours of adoption education.  Seemingly an inconvenience to many, but if you are investing the kind of money that an adoption requires - common sense would dictate that a family should at least be made aware of what they are getting in to and want to be prepared.  Also, follow up with a newly adoptive family is important, helping them to get off on the right start, making sure they are finding ways to relieve stress and cope and connecting them to others that are going through or have gone through the same situation all give families a better chance of a successful adoption.  Families need to do their homework before hand to ensure success on the other side of the adoption journey and agencies need to be there to support them.