I found this on the ABBA Blog (listed) - I thought it was great!!!
http://www.adoption-by-grace.com/decision.html The website was wonderful!!!!
How do I make the decision about adopting a child?
Decision Support
Choosing to adopt can be an uncomfortable mix of fact-based prudence and faith-based risk taking. It can feel murky and uncertain. We experience moments of confidence followed by days of insecurity.
The good news is that through all this discomfort, God can meet us and make our faith grow. The process of coming to a decision is an important part of the journey. Here are some questions you may be asking.
“Adoption is risky. Should I take this risk?”
Be wise
Every prudent man acts out of knowledge, but a fool exposes his folly…A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.(Proverbs 13:16, 14:15). God tells us to carefully consider the cost of our decisions. Do not rush into an adoption during a moment of compassion for a needy child. Adoption is a life-long commitment that demands much sacrifice. It is wise to research, think and pray before deciding to adopt.
Exercise faith
Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:39) God tells us to be prudent, but he also tells us to live sacrificially for others, and to move beyond the realm of cold, hard facts and live by faith in the unseen. If thinking about God’s love for orphans has led to your feeling a nudge to adopt a child, this could be the leading of God. It may be time for you to step out in faith, in spite of risks.
Trust God’s guidance
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me…If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him (John 10:27, James 1:5). God is pleased when we ask for his guidance. You can be confident that he will lead you as you go to him with your adoption decision.
Trust God's sovereignty
God is working out everything in conformity to the purpose of His will. Even the decisions that we freely make are according to His plan. This actually frees us to decide to adopt or not to adopt. If we choose not to adopt, we can be confident that God has other good work for us which He prepared in advance for us to do. Read more.
“I feel differently about adoption than my spouse.”
Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Submission in this situation includes respectfully and sincerely listening to each other. It also includes being open to the possibility of God leading you through the convictions of your husband or wife.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4) Keep focused on God and his lavish love as you together wait for his guidance.
Read and pray together. Family Life’s Hope for Orphans ministry has written “Considering Adoption: A Biblical Perspective”, a five-week small group study designed to help couples explore God’s perspective on making an adoption decision. These studies include the common dynamic of husband and wife being at different places in their thinking about adoption.
Look for blessing in the process. Remember that God has put you with your spouse, and that he can bring good to both of you through this decision – even through your different perspectives and desires.
“Should I adopt an older child? What about special needs children?"
Acknowledge the difficulty of the decision. Many older children long to belong to a family. Many children with particular medical, educational or emotional needs would have many more possibilities if they were in a loving family. It is hard to look into the faces of these children and turn away. But it is also hard to predict how we would handle their care over a lifetime.
Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the LORD delivers him in times of trouble. (Psalm 41:1). God delights to honor broken people. He chooses the foolish, weak, lowly and despised things of this world to show his glory (1 Corinthians 1:27-29). When you follow him into the lives of the vulnerable, he will give you special blessing.
Use available resources. Every year, more literature and educational opportunities to help us understand child development and other issues that affect parents of special needs children. These can help you make an informed decision about adopting a child, and they can help you raise your children to their full potential once they are home with you.
“It is too expensive.”
Adoption from the foster care system is virtually free and can also include financial aid for counseling and medical expenses.
For private and international adoptions, the 2009 federal tax credit was $12,150 for families who adopt a child.
More and more foundations have been set up to help families with the financial costs of adoption. Click here for more information.
Be prudent and wise about your situation, but also remember that God’s resources are inexhaustible. To the LORD your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it. (Deuteronomy 10:14)
“I really wanted biological children. I don’t know if I will be able to love an adopted child as much.”
Feeling loss from infertility is normal. God understands our grief. For thoughts on adoption after infertility, read “Second Choice, not Second Best.”
"How can I choose an adoption agency?"
Here are some thoughts about choosing an adoption agency.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
My Devotional and Our Logical Thinking
I felt my devotional today was pretty significant to the ministry I do. I hear so many families weigh their decisions on "PROS and CONS" and tell me why or why they can not consider adoption.
I feel God already tells us in the Bible what to do for orphans and those in need (many, many times)- I feel it is a more about a decision not necessarily a calling (I wholeheartedly agree with Dr. David's previous post). With that said - I do however feel that not every one can adopt but many more could if they were able to step away from their excuses as to why they shouldn't (finances, time, travel, ...). My personal feeling and experience is that it will only serve to enhance your relationship with God, stretch your faith, enhance your ministry and sets the example of true religion (according to God not me!).
My husband believes that I can be a bit hard lined about how I feel - I am sure at times he is right - however, God tells us in Isaiah 58:1 - "Shout it aloud, do not hold back. Raise your voice like a trumpet. Declare to my people their rebellion and to the house of Jacob their sins."
Reading below confirms what I already believe - doing what the world thinks as crazy and being in obedience to God - trusting that God has a plan and can take care of the details. I hope that this will speak to someone that is being told that what they are considering doesn't make sense. I pray that God will give you peace and that you will know it isn't about logic but obedience.
Block Logic
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman 05-30-2009
"For this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Houses, fields and vineyards will again be bought in this land" (Jer. 32:15).
In the scriptures we discover a difference in the way the Hebrew mind viewed things compared to the way many Westerners relate to God. Hebrews used something called Block Logic. That is, concepts were expressed in self-contained units or blocks of thought. These blocks did not necessarily fit together in any obvious rational or harmonious pattern.
Greek logic, which has influenced the Western world, was different. The Greeks often used tightly contained step logic which reason a premise to a conclusion, each step linked tightly to the next in coherent, rational, logical fashion.
This is why some Bible stories don't make sense to the western mind. It is particularly difficult for Westerners - those whose thought-patterns have been influenced more by the Greeks and Romans than by the Hebrews - to piece together the block logic of Scripture.
Consider Jeremiah and God's instruction to purchase land in a seemingly inopportune time. If I asked you to purchase some land when you knew that the country you were living in was about to be invaded and you were sure to be placed under arrest, how wise do you believe such an investment would be? Do you believe God would lead you to make such an investment? That is exactly what God told Jeremiah to do. However, God had a good reason for having Jeremiah make such a purchase. It was to be a testimony and a promise that God was going to restore the Jews to their land.
Hebrews made decisions based on obedience. Greeks (and Westerners) often made decisions on logic and reason. If the early church made decisions based on a pro and con method of decision-making, there would be no miracles in the Bible. i.e., such as getting the coin from the fish's mouth, walking around the walls of Jericho to take the city, Peter walking on water, etc.
We are not to question God's instructions. We are simply to obey.
I feel God already tells us in the Bible what to do for orphans and those in need (many, many times)- I feel it is a more about a decision not necessarily a calling (I wholeheartedly agree with Dr. David's previous post). With that said - I do however feel that not every one can adopt but many more could if they were able to step away from their excuses as to why they shouldn't (finances, time, travel, ...). My personal feeling and experience is that it will only serve to enhance your relationship with God, stretch your faith, enhance your ministry and sets the example of true religion (according to God not me!).
My husband believes that I can be a bit hard lined about how I feel - I am sure at times he is right - however, God tells us in Isaiah 58:1 - "Shout it aloud, do not hold back. Raise your voice like a trumpet. Declare to my people their rebellion and to the house of Jacob their sins."
Reading below confirms what I already believe - doing what the world thinks as crazy and being in obedience to God - trusting that God has a plan and can take care of the details. I hope that this will speak to someone that is being told that what they are considering doesn't make sense. I pray that God will give you peace and that you will know it isn't about logic but obedience.
Block Logic
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman 05-30-2009
"For this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Houses, fields and vineyards will again be bought in this land" (Jer. 32:15).
In the scriptures we discover a difference in the way the Hebrew mind viewed things compared to the way many Westerners relate to God. Hebrews used something called Block Logic. That is, concepts were expressed in self-contained units or blocks of thought. These blocks did not necessarily fit together in any obvious rational or harmonious pattern.
Greek logic, which has influenced the Western world, was different. The Greeks often used tightly contained step logic which reason a premise to a conclusion, each step linked tightly to the next in coherent, rational, logical fashion.
This is why some Bible stories don't make sense to the western mind. It is particularly difficult for Westerners - those whose thought-patterns have been influenced more by the Greeks and Romans than by the Hebrews - to piece together the block logic of Scripture.
Consider Jeremiah and God's instruction to purchase land in a seemingly inopportune time. If I asked you to purchase some land when you knew that the country you were living in was about to be invaded and you were sure to be placed under arrest, how wise do you believe such an investment would be? Do you believe God would lead you to make such an investment? That is exactly what God told Jeremiah to do. However, God had a good reason for having Jeremiah make such a purchase. It was to be a testimony and a promise that God was going to restore the Jews to their land.
Hebrews made decisions based on obedience. Greeks (and Westerners) often made decisions on logic and reason. If the early church made decisions based on a pro and con method of decision-making, there would be no miracles in the Bible. i.e., such as getting the coin from the fish's mouth, walking around the walls of Jericho to take the city, Peter walking on water, etc.
We are not to question God's instructions. We are simply to obey.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Love Found Me by Susan Krauter (link and lyrics)
This is a beautiful song - I hope you enjoy it!
http://songsofpraise.com/mp3/lovefoundme.mp3
Miles away across the sea
someone dreams of me
Is this true? How can it be?
That a family holds me in their heart?
(Chorus)
I found love when no one seemed to careI found love!
I thought no one was listening
Oh love found me! And I'm down on my knees
Take me to my family.
A man came from across the sea
With a package wrapped just for me
A gift of love to help me know
The love for me that my family holds!
(Chorus)
I found love when no one seemed to care
I found love! I thought no one was listening
Oh love found me!
And I'm down on my knees
Take me to my family.
(Bridge)
At night I lay in my bed and dream most splendid things
And the day will come soon when I'll be with you forever!!!
(Chorus)
I found love when no one seemed to careI found love!
I thought no one was listening
Oh love found me! And I'm down on my knees
Take me to my family.
Tears of joy run down my faceI am waiting for the day
Take me to my family.
Copyright © 2003 Susan Krauter
http://songsofpraise.com/mp3/lovefoundme.mp3
Miles away across the sea
someone dreams of me
Is this true? How can it be?
That a family holds me in their heart?
(Chorus)
I found love when no one seemed to careI found love!
I thought no one was listening
Oh love found me! And I'm down on my knees
Take me to my family.
A man came from across the sea
With a package wrapped just for me
A gift of love to help me know
The love for me that my family holds!
(Chorus)
I found love when no one seemed to care
I found love! I thought no one was listening
Oh love found me!
And I'm down on my knees
Take me to my family.
(Bridge)
At night I lay in my bed and dream most splendid things
And the day will come soon when I'll be with you forever!!!
(Chorus)
I found love when no one seemed to careI found love!
I thought no one was listening
Oh love found me! And I'm down on my knees
Take me to my family.
Tears of joy run down my faceI am waiting for the day
Take me to my family.
Copyright © 2003 Susan Krauter
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Quote On Hosting A Ukrainian Orphan - author unknown
Hello, Dan here. Well, as you can probably imagine the Hosting is filled with giggles, games, tears and tantrums, but overall it is a wonderful experience for the kids (and the adults). Angie and I took the girls to Build-a-Bear this past week.
One of the “stations” was putting a heart in the bear (or rabbit, or dog). The girls were told to squeeze the heart, kiss it, make a wish and place it in the bear. While we were driving home Karina asked me if wishes really do come true (I said only at Disney World, just kiddin’). I said, “Well, you have to ask God.” Karina said, “OK. Do you know what I wished? Can I tell you?”. “Sure.”, I said. “I wished I would always be happy.”, she said. Smack! That hit me. I thought for sure it would be a pony or a Barbie!
This years camp has given me a glimpse into what a child can be when they desperately want a family, and how they can blossom once they are in family. It is amazing what happens to a child who is filled with hope, surrounded with love (not just hugz and kissez, but with take-a-shower!, do-your-homework!, and no-cartoons!), and motivated with encouragement.
I am told that God wants to bless us more than we can imagine, well, I could have never imagined this! He continues to teach me and reveal to me His plan for my life, one that is both challenging and rewarding, one that builds character through patience and humility, perseverance and self-control. I think Karina expressed it best when I heard her say to her newly stuffed bunny rabbit, named Star from the backseat of the car , “It’s OK now. You have a family.”
One of the “stations” was putting a heart in the bear (or rabbit, or dog). The girls were told to squeeze the heart, kiss it, make a wish and place it in the bear. While we were driving home Karina asked me if wishes really do come true (I said only at Disney World, just kiddin’). I said, “Well, you have to ask God.” Karina said, “OK. Do you know what I wished? Can I tell you?”. “Sure.”, I said. “I wished I would always be happy.”, she said. Smack! That hit me. I thought for sure it would be a pony or a Barbie!
This years camp has given me a glimpse into what a child can be when they desperately want a family, and how they can blossom once they are in family. It is amazing what happens to a child who is filled with hope, surrounded with love (not just hugz and kissez, but with take-a-shower!, do-your-homework!, and no-cartoons!), and motivated with encouragement.
I am told that God wants to bless us more than we can imagine, well, I could have never imagined this! He continues to teach me and reveal to me His plan for my life, one that is both challenging and rewarding, one that builds character through patience and humility, perseverance and self-control. I think Karina expressed it best when I heard her say to her newly stuffed bunny rabbit, named Star from the backseat of the car , “It’s OK now. You have a family.”
Quote from a Ukrainian Orphan
"If I could convince just one person who has considered adoption to . . . go ahead and find your forever child. Or if, by sharing my story, it will help someone financially support an orphanage or one orphan overseas, then today I have accomplished my journey here."
Sophia Ramirez, Ukrainian orphan adopted at age 11, speaking in Washington at event for adoption.
Sophia Ramirez, Ukrainian orphan adopted at age 11, speaking in Washington at event for adoption.
While Waiting
This is from a Shaohannah's Hope (aka Show Hope) newsletter:
During your adoption journey you are likely to become child-focused instead of God focused. You might even think more about the creation instead the Creator. Let me challenge you that if you are longing more for the child instead of the Savior, you may want to pause and take inventory of your relationship with God. ..... I'd like to share a few truths we learned as we journeyed with God:
- You aren't waiting on man, you are waiting on God.
- God isn't going to send you where He is absent.
- God is not bound by geography, timelines, politics or finances.
- God hasn't asked you to walk this path alone. Not only will He remain with you each step of the way, He has prepared many warriors to go with you into battle. You'll be amazed at who He uses to meet your needs.
- Don't put serving the King on hold. Waiting doesn't equate to idleness. Invest in the wait, don't waste it.
- God's gifts to us are never late; they are always on time and far beyond what we could ever imagine.
Adoption is about stewardship. Your child and everything you possess belongs to God. During the wait, surrender it all to God, for His glory.
I hope this speaks to you as it did to me. I felt both convicted and encouraged.
Praying that as we wait, we will continue to draw closer to God.
Love,
Lydia
During your adoption journey you are likely to become child-focused instead of God focused. You might even think more about the creation instead the Creator. Let me challenge you that if you are longing more for the child instead of the Savior, you may want to pause and take inventory of your relationship with God. ..... I'd like to share a few truths we learned as we journeyed with God:
- You aren't waiting on man, you are waiting on God.
- God isn't going to send you where He is absent.
- God is not bound by geography, timelines, politics or finances.
- God hasn't asked you to walk this path alone. Not only will He remain with you each step of the way, He has prepared many warriors to go with you into battle. You'll be amazed at who He uses to meet your needs.
- Don't put serving the King on hold. Waiting doesn't equate to idleness. Invest in the wait, don't waste it.
- God's gifts to us are never late; they are always on time and far beyond what we could ever imagine.
Adoption is about stewardship. Your child and everything you possess belongs to God. During the wait, surrender it all to God, for His glory.
I hope this speaks to you as it did to me. I felt both convicted and encouraged.
Praying that as we wait, we will continue to draw closer to God.
Love,
Lydia
We Pray For The Children - author unknown
Looking at Children Through the Eyes of FaithMay this little prayer poem (author unknown) challenge you to pray for children and to consider how else you might become involved with a forgotten child, a child who needs parents.
We pray for children
Who put chocolate fingers everywhere,
Who like to be tickled,
Who stomp in puddles and ruin their new pants,
Who sneak Popsicles before supper,
Who erase holes in math workbooks,
Who can never find their shoes.
And we pray for those
Who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
Who can’t bound down the street in new sneakers,
Who never “counted potatoes,”
Who are born in places we wouldn’t’ be caught dead in,
Who never go to the circus,
Who live in an X-rated world.
We pray for children
Who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
Who sleep with the cat and bury goldfish,
Who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money,
Who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink,
Who slurp their soup.
And we pray for those
Who never get dessert,
Who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
Who can’t find any bread to steal,
Who don’t have any rooms to clean up,
Whose pictures aren’t on anybody’s dresser,
Whose monsters are real.
We pray for children
Who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
Who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
Who like ghost stories,
Who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
Who get visits from the tooth fairy,
Who don’t like to be kissed in front of the car pool,
Who squirm in church and scream on the phone,
Whose tears we sometimes laugh at and whose smiles can make us cry.
And we pray for those
Whose nightmares come in the daytime,
Who will eat anything,
Who have never seen a dentist,
Who are never spoiled by anyone,
Who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
Who live and move, but have no being.
We pray for children
Who want to be carried
And for those who must,
For those we never give up on
And for those who never get a second chance,
For those we smother…
And for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.
We pray for children. Amen.
We pray for children
Who put chocolate fingers everywhere,
Who like to be tickled,
Who stomp in puddles and ruin their new pants,
Who sneak Popsicles before supper,
Who erase holes in math workbooks,
Who can never find their shoes.
And we pray for those
Who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,
Who can’t bound down the street in new sneakers,
Who never “counted potatoes,”
Who are born in places we wouldn’t’ be caught dead in,
Who never go to the circus,
Who live in an X-rated world.
We pray for children
Who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,
Who sleep with the cat and bury goldfish,
Who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money,
Who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink,
Who slurp their soup.
And we pray for those
Who never get dessert,
Who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
Who can’t find any bread to steal,
Who don’t have any rooms to clean up,
Whose pictures aren’t on anybody’s dresser,
Whose monsters are real.
We pray for children
Who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
Who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
Who like ghost stories,
Who shove dirty clothes under the bed,
Who get visits from the tooth fairy,
Who don’t like to be kissed in front of the car pool,
Who squirm in church and scream on the phone,
Whose tears we sometimes laugh at and whose smiles can make us cry.
And we pray for those
Whose nightmares come in the daytime,
Who will eat anything,
Who have never seen a dentist,
Who are never spoiled by anyone,
Who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
Who live and move, but have no being.
We pray for children
Who want to be carried
And for those who must,
For those we never give up on
And for those who never get a second chance,
For those we smother…
And for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.
We pray for children. Amen.
THOSE LEFT BEHIND by guest blogger
I can't remember where I found this (I am not taking credit for writing it) but I saved it because it really touched my heart. It is how I feel too, when we have children travel that do not meet forever families - or the children I meet at the orphanage that I see every time I go there. It makes me so sad. But I keep doing what I am doing and have to put it in God's hands to do the rest. God doesn't call me to be successful but faithful. I hope you will join me in praying for all the children around the world that wait...
Looking into these children's eyes you see the potential their lives hold and realize how international adoption may be their only hope for a future. I thank GOD that I was led on the path to adoption for my own children 5 years ago, and also that I have been given the blessing of a job that I don't consider work. You see, God placed in my heart a very heavy burden almost 5 years ago~ it is these children overseas living in orphanages.
There are times I feel as if some of them will never be adopted, and I feel like I have let them down because for some of them, we are their only hope for a family, and they continue to wait. I feel like maybe we don't do enough to promote the adoption of the older children, perhaps we aren't letting our families fall in love with these children through us and feel our compassion for them. I wonder what it will take for each one of these children to be adopted... and have the things we take for granted, such as a family, a home, dreams of the possible and impossible, and the delight in the sheer ability to be a child. I look at them and feel like they are drowning in an ocean without a lifeboat. I go to bed at night and wonder what could we have done differently to help at least one more, that surely there must have been something we could have done that would have been more. I hope and pray we can make people see these children for what is in their heart and soul, and not look at them for the shape of their eyes or the color of their skin or hair.
One night, I came across my favorite little boy on our website whose 6th birthday was coming up. This little boy touched my heart the very first time I saw his picture, and that night I looked into his eyes in the picture, and at that moment, I felt as if we have failed him and left him behind. How could such a beautiful child not have found his family yet? He would not celebrate his birthday with balloons, a fancy cake, presents, friends, or fond memories. There will be no pictures of his party to look at later in life, there will be no excitement~ there would just be another empty day for him. And the sad reality is, he will not know any better that he is missing anything. I sat there crying and feeling totally helpless. My heart breaks for him and all the other children his age both older and younger. As each day, week, month, and year goes by for our waiting children, their future is bleaker and their fate becomes more sealed with the truth that they may never find parents. After the children turn one year old, their chances for adoption are greatly reduced. Many of them will live their lives in the orphanage system, and while they are well taken care of and loved, they are not nurtured and loved as parents as a family would love them. They don't even know what they are missing. These children when they reach the age of 16 will be turned out on the streets with no family or direction, and many are unable to lead productive lives and contribute to society in a positive way.
I am reminded of a story that one of our families told me about while they were overseas visiting their children. He said he was there one day when it was a day to "move" some children out and he saw a bus and heard screams and cries of the children, and he didn't know what it was. He asked the overseas adoption facilitator and was told those children were being transferred to the orphanage because they were now 3 and too old for the Baby House and were moved from the only home they had ever known. He said it was heart wrenching to hear them. These children were forced to break the bond with those they loved and trusted most... and you see, this is now part of who they are today. These children are old enough to understand rejection, old enough to understand where they are, old enough to understand that others may get adopted, but not them, old enough to understand something is just not right. They see parents come and choose other children, and they understand "it isn't going to me this time either." They are internalizing this information and it is changing who they are and who they CAN BE! They will learn to cope and continue to live life as they know it, and never even realize what they are missing, and this reality of their lives to me is what is the most tragic!
My faith is so strong, that I know that God has a plan for these children...however it does not lessen the pain of their waiting for me and that is what continues to motivate me. I am sitting here contemplating what makes some children be chosen and others not? I have no answers at all. I have to believe that we have just not found their parents yet. I ask you to join me in praying for the waiting children. Pray for the ones who are cold and hungry, the ones who will be moved to another setting because of their age, the ones who know something is missing, the ones who cry at night, the ones who are sick, the ones who aren't perfect, the ones who get scrapes and cuts but never get Scooby Doo Band-Aids, the ones who have dreams they may never get to realize, the ones who have nightmares, the ones that will never play little league baseball, the ones who will never hear encouraging words pushing them to achieve higher goals, the ones who are about to be released from the orphanage into their real life on the streets, and the ones who are now babies who have begun their wait, and who will one day still be waiting and hoping endlessly for parents.
I write this article in the hopes that you will tell someone about the plight of children waiting for adoption in overseas orphanages. God places these things on our hearts to move us outside of our comfort level so we can help HIM make a difference. We know about the children associated with our agency, but this is only a fraction of the children who are waiting for adoption in overseas orphanages. I hope you realize that if you spread the word, that you could be the hand and messenger that God is looking for to help Him find parents for these children.
Looking into these children's eyes you see the potential their lives hold and realize how international adoption may be their only hope for a future. I thank GOD that I was led on the path to adoption for my own children 5 years ago, and also that I have been given the blessing of a job that I don't consider work. You see, God placed in my heart a very heavy burden almost 5 years ago~ it is these children overseas living in orphanages.
There are times I feel as if some of them will never be adopted, and I feel like I have let them down because for some of them, we are their only hope for a family, and they continue to wait. I feel like maybe we don't do enough to promote the adoption of the older children, perhaps we aren't letting our families fall in love with these children through us and feel our compassion for them. I wonder what it will take for each one of these children to be adopted... and have the things we take for granted, such as a family, a home, dreams of the possible and impossible, and the delight in the sheer ability to be a child. I look at them and feel like they are drowning in an ocean without a lifeboat. I go to bed at night and wonder what could we have done differently to help at least one more, that surely there must have been something we could have done that would have been more. I hope and pray we can make people see these children for what is in their heart and soul, and not look at them for the shape of their eyes or the color of their skin or hair.
One night, I came across my favorite little boy on our website whose 6th birthday was coming up. This little boy touched my heart the very first time I saw his picture, and that night I looked into his eyes in the picture, and at that moment, I felt as if we have failed him and left him behind. How could such a beautiful child not have found his family yet? He would not celebrate his birthday with balloons, a fancy cake, presents, friends, or fond memories. There will be no pictures of his party to look at later in life, there will be no excitement~ there would just be another empty day for him. And the sad reality is, he will not know any better that he is missing anything. I sat there crying and feeling totally helpless. My heart breaks for him and all the other children his age both older and younger. As each day, week, month, and year goes by for our waiting children, their future is bleaker and their fate becomes more sealed with the truth that they may never find parents. After the children turn one year old, their chances for adoption are greatly reduced. Many of them will live their lives in the orphanage system, and while they are well taken care of and loved, they are not nurtured and loved as parents as a family would love them. They don't even know what they are missing. These children when they reach the age of 16 will be turned out on the streets with no family or direction, and many are unable to lead productive lives and contribute to society in a positive way.
I am reminded of a story that one of our families told me about while they were overseas visiting their children. He said he was there one day when it was a day to "move" some children out and he saw a bus and heard screams and cries of the children, and he didn't know what it was. He asked the overseas adoption facilitator and was told those children were being transferred to the orphanage because they were now 3 and too old for the Baby House and were moved from the only home they had ever known. He said it was heart wrenching to hear them. These children were forced to break the bond with those they loved and trusted most... and you see, this is now part of who they are today. These children are old enough to understand rejection, old enough to understand where they are, old enough to understand that others may get adopted, but not them, old enough to understand something is just not right. They see parents come and choose other children, and they understand "it isn't going to me this time either." They are internalizing this information and it is changing who they are and who they CAN BE! They will learn to cope and continue to live life as they know it, and never even realize what they are missing, and this reality of their lives to me is what is the most tragic!
My faith is so strong, that I know that God has a plan for these children...however it does not lessen the pain of their waiting for me and that is what continues to motivate me. I am sitting here contemplating what makes some children be chosen and others not? I have no answers at all. I have to believe that we have just not found their parents yet. I ask you to join me in praying for the waiting children. Pray for the ones who are cold and hungry, the ones who will be moved to another setting because of their age, the ones who know something is missing, the ones who cry at night, the ones who are sick, the ones who aren't perfect, the ones who get scrapes and cuts but never get Scooby Doo Band-Aids, the ones who have dreams they may never get to realize, the ones who have nightmares, the ones that will never play little league baseball, the ones who will never hear encouraging words pushing them to achieve higher goals, the ones who are about to be released from the orphanage into their real life on the streets, and the ones who are now babies who have begun their wait, and who will one day still be waiting and hoping endlessly for parents.
I write this article in the hopes that you will tell someone about the plight of children waiting for adoption in overseas orphanages. God places these things on our hearts to move us outside of our comfort level so we can help HIM make a difference. We know about the children associated with our agency, but this is only a fraction of the children who are waiting for adoption in overseas orphanages. I hope you realize that if you spread the word, that you could be the hand and messenger that God is looking for to help Him find parents for these children.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Hearing God's Voice - 5 Questions
By: Lysa TerKeurst - P31 Woman magazine
I am always amazed that the God of the Universe pauses in the midst of His creation to touch and speak to our hearts. I believe each day God speaks to us. Sometimes He invites us to draw close and listen as He reveals Himself, His character and His direction. Other times He calls us to actively participate in His purposes. As I've shared my journey of radical obedience, people ask me how I know God is speaking to me.
The truth is there's no secret formula for discerning God's voice. But we can learn to recognize it the way we recognize the voices of those close to us - by knowing God personally and intimately. Then, we can tell if what we're feeling led to do is from Him or not.
Though I've never heard God's voice audibly, I hear from Him all the time. It is a certain impression on my heart that I've come to recognize. I've also learned to ask five key questions to determine if what I'm hearing is from God. Let me describe each of them so you can decide if the promptings of your heart are from the Father.
Does what I'm hearing line up with Scripture? God will not speak to us or tell us to do something that is contrary to His Word. But if we do not know Scripture, we will not be able to discern whether what we are hearing is consistent with it. Thankfully you don't need a seminary degree to read your Bible. If you are new to this, invest in a translation that is easy to understand with a built-in commentary, as well as a journal to record the verses you study. Compare it with your personal experiences and what you are learning as you read God's Word. It is the language of the Holy Spirit that helps us understand what God is saying to our hearts. It can transform the mind and prepare it for whatever God wants to tell us.
Is what I'm hearing consistent with God's character? As you read God's Word and come across verses revealing aspects of His nature, make note of them. He will not say things that are inconsistent with who He is. Galatians 5:22-23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control." The Spirit in us develops these character traits, just as they are found in the nature of Christ. When you feel God speaking to you, ask yourself, "Is what I'm hearing consistent with God's love, joy, peace, etc.?"
Is what I'm hearing being confirmed with other messages? When God is speaking to me about a particular issue, I cannot escape it. Around every corner is a sermon, a speaker's topic, or a conversation with a friend that is consistent with what I've been hearing in my time alone with Him. When we invest in spending time alone with God, He will speak to us, and what we hear from Him in these quiet times will be echoed in other places.
Is what I'm hearing beyond me? When God calls us to do something, most of the time we can't do it in our own strength - either it is beyond our ability or beyond our natural human desire. It is not something we can strategize and manipulate into being, in and of ourselves. It can only happen by God's divine intervention. Think about it - Abraham was old, Moses stuttered, Joseph was abused, and Rahab was a prostitute - and the beauty of each of their stories is that God alone worked miracles through them, and for that we give Him all the glory.
Would what I'm hearing please God? It's easy to talk ourselves out of thinking we've heard from God. We'll use pretty much any excuse to convince ourselves it's not His voice so we don't need to act. But there's one very important question to ask that takes away all our excuses: "Would this please God?" You see, if what you are doing pleases God, then even if what you thought you heard from Him wasn't His voice, you still please Him. If you are going to err, err on the side of making God happy.
The more you practice listening for God's voice, the more it becomes a natural part of your daily life. God wants you to hear Him and He wants your faith to grow. Live in expectation of hearing from God, and you will. Then respond with radical obedience.
I am always amazed that the God of the Universe pauses in the midst of His creation to touch and speak to our hearts. I believe each day God speaks to us. Sometimes He invites us to draw close and listen as He reveals Himself, His character and His direction. Other times He calls us to actively participate in His purposes. As I've shared my journey of radical obedience, people ask me how I know God is speaking to me.
The truth is there's no secret formula for discerning God's voice. But we can learn to recognize it the way we recognize the voices of those close to us - by knowing God personally and intimately. Then, we can tell if what we're feeling led to do is from Him or not.
Though I've never heard God's voice audibly, I hear from Him all the time. It is a certain impression on my heart that I've come to recognize. I've also learned to ask five key questions to determine if what I'm hearing is from God. Let me describe each of them so you can decide if the promptings of your heart are from the Father.
Does what I'm hearing line up with Scripture? God will not speak to us or tell us to do something that is contrary to His Word. But if we do not know Scripture, we will not be able to discern whether what we are hearing is consistent with it. Thankfully you don't need a seminary degree to read your Bible. If you are new to this, invest in a translation that is easy to understand with a built-in commentary, as well as a journal to record the verses you study. Compare it with your personal experiences and what you are learning as you read God's Word. It is the language of the Holy Spirit that helps us understand what God is saying to our hearts. It can transform the mind and prepare it for whatever God wants to tell us.
Is what I'm hearing consistent with God's character? As you read God's Word and come across verses revealing aspects of His nature, make note of them. He will not say things that are inconsistent with who He is. Galatians 5:22-23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control." The Spirit in us develops these character traits, just as they are found in the nature of Christ. When you feel God speaking to you, ask yourself, "Is what I'm hearing consistent with God's love, joy, peace, etc.?"
Is what I'm hearing being confirmed with other messages? When God is speaking to me about a particular issue, I cannot escape it. Around every corner is a sermon, a speaker's topic, or a conversation with a friend that is consistent with what I've been hearing in my time alone with Him. When we invest in spending time alone with God, He will speak to us, and what we hear from Him in these quiet times will be echoed in other places.
Is what I'm hearing beyond me? When God calls us to do something, most of the time we can't do it in our own strength - either it is beyond our ability or beyond our natural human desire. It is not something we can strategize and manipulate into being, in and of ourselves. It can only happen by God's divine intervention. Think about it - Abraham was old, Moses stuttered, Joseph was abused, and Rahab was a prostitute - and the beauty of each of their stories is that God alone worked miracles through them, and for that we give Him all the glory.
Would what I'm hearing please God? It's easy to talk ourselves out of thinking we've heard from God. We'll use pretty much any excuse to convince ourselves it's not His voice so we don't need to act. But there's one very important question to ask that takes away all our excuses: "Would this please God?" You see, if what you are doing pleases God, then even if what you thought you heard from Him wasn't His voice, you still please Him. If you are going to err, err on the side of making God happy.
The more you practice listening for God's voice, the more it becomes a natural part of your daily life. God wants you to hear Him and He wants your faith to grow. Live in expectation of hearing from God, and you will. Then respond with radical obedience.
The True Cost of Adoption by Lydia Tarr
What is the true cost of adoption? I don't mean merely the dollar figure - although that is a big part of the adoption journey. What I am talking about is the hidden costs in adoption – our time, our emotions, our comfort, our expectations…
Many never realize the complexity of adoption. It is something I have tried to explain to many families, only to later realize they don’t truly understand until the end of the process, some not even then. I have told all of my families that adoption is hard. It is even imprinted on the back of my business card – “Adoption is not for the faint of heart”… but it still doesn’t sink in until after the fact and families seem surprised.
No single adoption is ever identical to the next. For some, not unlike childbirth, will have easy adoptions with little pain or effort, while others may struggle and labor hard for the same outcome. Is it fair? A common phrase at our home is, “Life isn’t fair.” God never promised us a life of fairness in this world. God determines each step of the journey and if we trust Him, we know that in Romans 8:28, he promises “all things work together for the good of those called according to His purpose.”
First, let’s begin with the investment of our emotions. For most of us, when we start the adoption process our emotions begin to build as we imagine and fall in love with the fairytale of adoption. I used to tell my 3 year old daughter a story before we adopted our first daughter Lauren from Ukraine, “Once upon a time in a land far, far, away lived a beautiful little princess who was waiting for her mommy and daddy to find her…..and as many of you know it ends with, “and they lived happily ever after.”
We dream of the child we want to rescue. Our emotions dictate our story – one day it is happy endings and the next day it is the horror story often portrayed by the media. If we have happy thoughts, then our adoption is going well. However, if bad thoughts rule the day, then we are going to ruin our family.
For those of you who have been through the process of adoption, you understand the cost of those emotions. With adoption, you will experience many highs and lows. One of my familes shared that their biggest highs and biggest lows often fell on the same day.
Next, there is the sacrifice of our time. Time is required to do the necessary paper chasing – which I know that everyone loves (I say this in jest!). Gathering seemingly countless documents, scheduling fingerprints, doctors appointments, redoing papers…it goes on. And that is only a fraction of the time it takes to travel, complete the process and bring our children home. Months and sometimes even years of our time is invested in our adoption.
The time required in country is often what determines if a family moves forward. Many families I have talked to that did not choose to go forward with adoption, used time as their defense. I want you to consider something. If I told you that in order for you to save the life of one of your loved ones, you would have to dedicate 4-6 weeks with them, isolated from all that is comfortable to you and would be away from your family and friends – what would you do? Most of us would not hesitate to do what it took to save the life of the ones we love.
This brings us to our next cost, our comfort. It is highly uncomfortable for most of us to write the initial check to begin our adoption, much less to hand over thousands of dollars later. Then there is the uncomfortable feeling of divulging all of our personal information to many along the adoption journey. Some other items to add to this tally that takes us out of our comfort zone are rooted in fear – fear of flying, travelling, being away from family and our home, not speaking the language, not understanding the culture…. For many this is a price too dear, another stumbling block of adoption.
There are also many expectations in the adoption journey- what we expect, what our family and friends expect, what your newly adopted child expects. Many times, our disappointments or unhappiness stem from the fact that our expectations were not met. Our happiness depends on those same expectations being fulfilled. Most families enter in to the process with high expectations and don’t expect reality to intervene. Unfortunately, life is full of reality.
The reality of life is that not every adoption is successful, not every child wants to be adopted, not every child will be available, not every family will finish their adoption in record time (although I know that is what we all secretly wish for – I have been there and have done the same). The reality is that our children will not instantly behave the way we want, or want what we want for them. The reality is that our adoption may not go as smooth as we hoped, and there are too many other “realities” to list them all.
So let’s add up the costs - Our time + our emotions + our comfort + our expectations, (and let’s not forget to add the obvious cost) + our money = our adoption. Now I want to put it in to what I think is the biblical perspective of adoption. My belief is that adoption is a pure reflection of what God did for us by making a way for us to be part of His family. In Ephesians 1:4-6, it states, “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”
I have also shared with many that I believe that God has predestined our children. It says in Psalms 139: 16, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. ”. I encourage all of my families to pray as I did, that God will lead them to the child He has already predestined for their family. Sometimes that child is not the one we think it will be and for those who persevere, they usually understand that at the end. There are also times when I feel at the end of my rope with one of my children and worry about trying to figure out how to parent them and at that point I have to remember that God brought us together and He will give me what it takes to do so. It is a sometimes painful process but one that stretches me and helps me grow, especially when I think of how the relationship compares to the one God has with us.
So what does God think about the cost of adoption? Let’s first consider the finances, as that is usually one of the largest costs. I understand that for many, the cost of adoption is overwhelming. It is more than a lot of families think that they can afford, but time and time again I have seen God provide in amazing ways.
I know it is God’s heart even more than ours, for orphans to have a family that can meet the needs that every child has – physical, spiritual and emotional. God designed the family unit and only a family can fulfill the need for love, security and support. So, with that said, if we believe as the Bible tells us that God owns it all, can’t we then agree that we can trust His provision – financial or otherwise?
I am asked often how much my kids “cost”. When I share with people they are often in awe and reply that they could never spend that much money. Many people have no problem spending that on a car. Let me ask you, which will leave a lasting impact?
For some, God does provide. For others, God requires us to sacrifice. This is an area of struggle and sadly few will pay what it takes. I consider the adoption fees a ransom for the lives of the children. As I asked earlier in a question, if $30,000 would save the live of someone we loved, wouldn’t most of us figure out a way to do it. But if we truly believe and trust that God owns it all, the money it takes really isn’t ours. I understand applying wisdom here. I am not speaking about foolishly entering in to adoption without any type of financial plan and expecting a check to drop in to our hands because we believe that God loves these children. But I am talking about money we have stored for tomorrow – I heard a pastor speak once on how the Bible tells us in the Lord’s prayer, to pray for our daily bread, but Americans want to have their daily bread for about 20 years in advance.
I believe that God will honor that sacrifice of our finances and bless it. I personally have seen that in my own life and with other families. I have had some families literally “balk” when I mention 401(k)’s as an option, or cashing in stock. I am reminded of the parable in Luke 12:16-21 , "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." ' "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' "This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God."
I think if we really stop and compare what Jesus did for us and what we have the opportunity to do for the waiting children – our cost is much less than His. Galations 5:6 may express it best, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”
Summing up the cost of our time, expectations, comfort and emotions, do you think that Jesus stopped to count these as He prepared to do what it took to allow us to be adopted children of God? Was it comfortable on the cross? Was it too hard for Him to handle? Was His time less valuable? Was the cost too great?
Many never realize the complexity of adoption. It is something I have tried to explain to many families, only to later realize they don’t truly understand until the end of the process, some not even then. I have told all of my families that adoption is hard. It is even imprinted on the back of my business card – “Adoption is not for the faint of heart”… but it still doesn’t sink in until after the fact and families seem surprised.
No single adoption is ever identical to the next. For some, not unlike childbirth, will have easy adoptions with little pain or effort, while others may struggle and labor hard for the same outcome. Is it fair? A common phrase at our home is, “Life isn’t fair.” God never promised us a life of fairness in this world. God determines each step of the journey and if we trust Him, we know that in Romans 8:28, he promises “all things work together for the good of those called according to His purpose.”
First, let’s begin with the investment of our emotions. For most of us, when we start the adoption process our emotions begin to build as we imagine and fall in love with the fairytale of adoption. I used to tell my 3 year old daughter a story before we adopted our first daughter Lauren from Ukraine, “Once upon a time in a land far, far, away lived a beautiful little princess who was waiting for her mommy and daddy to find her…..and as many of you know it ends with, “and they lived happily ever after.”
We dream of the child we want to rescue. Our emotions dictate our story – one day it is happy endings and the next day it is the horror story often portrayed by the media. If we have happy thoughts, then our adoption is going well. However, if bad thoughts rule the day, then we are going to ruin our family.
For those of you who have been through the process of adoption, you understand the cost of those emotions. With adoption, you will experience many highs and lows. One of my familes shared that their biggest highs and biggest lows often fell on the same day.
Next, there is the sacrifice of our time. Time is required to do the necessary paper chasing – which I know that everyone loves (I say this in jest!). Gathering seemingly countless documents, scheduling fingerprints, doctors appointments, redoing papers…it goes on. And that is only a fraction of the time it takes to travel, complete the process and bring our children home. Months and sometimes even years of our time is invested in our adoption.
The time required in country is often what determines if a family moves forward. Many families I have talked to that did not choose to go forward with adoption, used time as their defense. I want you to consider something. If I told you that in order for you to save the life of one of your loved ones, you would have to dedicate 4-6 weeks with them, isolated from all that is comfortable to you and would be away from your family and friends – what would you do? Most of us would not hesitate to do what it took to save the life of the ones we love.
This brings us to our next cost, our comfort. It is highly uncomfortable for most of us to write the initial check to begin our adoption, much less to hand over thousands of dollars later. Then there is the uncomfortable feeling of divulging all of our personal information to many along the adoption journey. Some other items to add to this tally that takes us out of our comfort zone are rooted in fear – fear of flying, travelling, being away from family and our home, not speaking the language, not understanding the culture…. For many this is a price too dear, another stumbling block of adoption.
There are also many expectations in the adoption journey- what we expect, what our family and friends expect, what your newly adopted child expects. Many times, our disappointments or unhappiness stem from the fact that our expectations were not met. Our happiness depends on those same expectations being fulfilled. Most families enter in to the process with high expectations and don’t expect reality to intervene. Unfortunately, life is full of reality.
The reality of life is that not every adoption is successful, not every child wants to be adopted, not every child will be available, not every family will finish their adoption in record time (although I know that is what we all secretly wish for – I have been there and have done the same). The reality is that our children will not instantly behave the way we want, or want what we want for them. The reality is that our adoption may not go as smooth as we hoped, and there are too many other “realities” to list them all.
So let’s add up the costs - Our time + our emotions + our comfort + our expectations, (and let’s not forget to add the obvious cost) + our money = our adoption. Now I want to put it in to what I think is the biblical perspective of adoption. My belief is that adoption is a pure reflection of what God did for us by making a way for us to be part of His family. In Ephesians 1:4-6, it states, “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”
I have also shared with many that I believe that God has predestined our children. It says in Psalms 139: 16, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. ”. I encourage all of my families to pray as I did, that God will lead them to the child He has already predestined for their family. Sometimes that child is not the one we think it will be and for those who persevere, they usually understand that at the end. There are also times when I feel at the end of my rope with one of my children and worry about trying to figure out how to parent them and at that point I have to remember that God brought us together and He will give me what it takes to do so. It is a sometimes painful process but one that stretches me and helps me grow, especially when I think of how the relationship compares to the one God has with us.
So what does God think about the cost of adoption? Let’s first consider the finances, as that is usually one of the largest costs. I understand that for many, the cost of adoption is overwhelming. It is more than a lot of families think that they can afford, but time and time again I have seen God provide in amazing ways.
I know it is God’s heart even more than ours, for orphans to have a family that can meet the needs that every child has – physical, spiritual and emotional. God designed the family unit and only a family can fulfill the need for love, security and support. So, with that said, if we believe as the Bible tells us that God owns it all, can’t we then agree that we can trust His provision – financial or otherwise?
I am asked often how much my kids “cost”. When I share with people they are often in awe and reply that they could never spend that much money. Many people have no problem spending that on a car. Let me ask you, which will leave a lasting impact?
For some, God does provide. For others, God requires us to sacrifice. This is an area of struggle and sadly few will pay what it takes. I consider the adoption fees a ransom for the lives of the children. As I asked earlier in a question, if $30,000 would save the live of someone we loved, wouldn’t most of us figure out a way to do it. But if we truly believe and trust that God owns it all, the money it takes really isn’t ours. I understand applying wisdom here. I am not speaking about foolishly entering in to adoption without any type of financial plan and expecting a check to drop in to our hands because we believe that God loves these children. But I am talking about money we have stored for tomorrow – I heard a pastor speak once on how the Bible tells us in the Lord’s prayer, to pray for our daily bread, but Americans want to have their daily bread for about 20 years in advance.
I believe that God will honor that sacrifice of our finances and bless it. I personally have seen that in my own life and with other families. I have had some families literally “balk” when I mention 401(k)’s as an option, or cashing in stock. I am reminded of the parable in Luke 12:16-21 , "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.' "Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." ' "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' "This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God."
I think if we really stop and compare what Jesus did for us and what we have the opportunity to do for the waiting children – our cost is much less than His. Galations 5:6 may express it best, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”
Summing up the cost of our time, expectations, comfort and emotions, do you think that Jesus stopped to count these as He prepared to do what it took to allow us to be adopted children of God? Was it comfortable on the cross? Was it too hard for Him to handle? Was His time less valuable? Was the cost too great?
Global Underpopulation - guest blogger
http://www.allprodad.com/pod/viewplayoftheday.php?date_pod=2009-03-12
We've heard frequently how human overpopulation will devastate Earth. But now sociologists are warning just the opposite – we had better increase our birthrate or else we're in big trouble. Societal survival birthrate is 2.1 children for every family. In Europe, it's currently 1.38. One German province had to close 220 of its schools in 2006. In Russia, the population is declining by 700,000 a year. And while many developing countries are over the 2.1 threshold, the more prosperous they become, the less populated they will be (if current trends continue). The downfall could be when the retired population overwhelms the working population, causing the economy to shrink and birthrates to fall even further.
So, for those of you who have or want a lot of children (whether biological or adopted), realize you're actually helping our society. There are many who would criticize large families in the name of overpopulation, but what the world truly needs are not fewer kids, but better kids who are being raised properly by a loving mother and father. For those of you who have a lot of children, we offer our thanks. To those of you trying to decide whether to have more kids biologically or through adoption, we say go for it. You'll be glad you did and our world will be better for it.
Here's one dad's story (great video clip) about how adopting a child made a difference in his life... Huddle up and ask your wife tonight: What are your thoughts on having more children either naturally or through adoption?
We've heard frequently how human overpopulation will devastate Earth. But now sociologists are warning just the opposite – we had better increase our birthrate or else we're in big trouble. Societal survival birthrate is 2.1 children for every family. In Europe, it's currently 1.38. One German province had to close 220 of its schools in 2006. In Russia, the population is declining by 700,000 a year. And while many developing countries are over the 2.1 threshold, the more prosperous they become, the less populated they will be (if current trends continue). The downfall could be when the retired population overwhelms the working population, causing the economy to shrink and birthrates to fall even further.
So, for those of you who have or want a lot of children (whether biological or adopted), realize you're actually helping our society. There are many who would criticize large families in the name of overpopulation, but what the world truly needs are not fewer kids, but better kids who are being raised properly by a loving mother and father. For those of you who have a lot of children, we offer our thanks. To those of you trying to decide whether to have more kids biologically or through adoption, we say go for it. You'll be glad you did and our world will be better for it.
Here's one dad's story (great video clip) about how adopting a child made a difference in his life... Huddle up and ask your wife tonight: What are your thoughts on having more children either naturally or through adoption?
ADOPTED FOR LIFE - Wonderful book that I highly recommend!
http://www.crossway.org/product/9781581349115 Link to buy Russell Moore's book.
Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches (Foreword by C. J. Mahaney)Russell D. Moore, C. J. Mahaney (Foreword)
A manifesto calling Christians to adopt children and to equip Christian families going through the process. Offers biblical foundations for adoption and identifies adoption as a Great Commission priority.
Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches (Foreword by C. J. Mahaney)Russell D. Moore, C. J. Mahaney (Foreword)
A manifesto calling Christians to adopt children and to equip Christian families going through the process. Offers biblical foundations for adoption and identifies adoption as a Great Commission priority.
THE MYTH: IT COSTS TOO MUCH TO ADOPT - guest blogger
You Can Afford to Adopt
Jason Kovacs posted this in Facts & Statistics & Featured Stories & Myths & Realities & Resources & Stories on Wednesday, April 29, 2009
This is the second post in our new series, The Reality of Adoption: Confronting Common Myths. To read Michael Monroe’s overview of the series, click here.
The Myth: It costs too much to adopt.
The Reality: With help many people making a modest income can afford to adopt.
For many families the dream of adoption ends when they see how much it costs. What was once a great desire is squashed by the reality of $20,000 - $40,000 in fees. For many, this seems impossible at first. What do you do if you find yourself in this position? Please don’t give up hope! Though the costs seem high, there is great encouragment from God’s Word about God’s ability to provide. There are also a growing number of resources available to help families with the cost of adoption.
First, remember that God personally knows the high cost of adoption. It cost Him the blood of His only son to adopt His children. The price we pay in adopting pales in comparison. Also, remember that God loves to provide for His children. Jesus said, “If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him” (Matthew 7:11). There a lot of good gifts that God gives to His children and adoption is definitely one of them! Not only does God love to provide but He is able to provide.
Paul reminds the Corinthians that “God will generously provide all they need” (2 Cor 9:8). This reminds me of the fridge magnet in my grandparents home that said something very true: “Where God guides, God provides.” If you are sensing God’s call to adopt then God will not leave you without the means. That is not to say that it will be easy. On the contrary it seems that God often likes to bring us through difficult experiences so that we will have to trust Him all the more. Though challenging, it is those times that we grow most in our relationship with the Lord and it is in these circumstances that we often see God provide in the most wonderful of ways.
My wife and I felt the call to adopt when I was just starting out in ministry. I was in a small church plant, going to seminary, and my salary was very low. We had no resources of our own and had to trust that God would provide for the whole cost of the adoption. There were many times when I struggled with believing God could or would do this but He did. Every dollar for the adoption came through gifts of family and friends, an interest-free loan, a matching grant, personal fundraising, and a grant. We experienced the whole gamete of help available! I was left humbled and awed at God’s goodness and the kindness of others!
Now four years later, I have the joy of working full-time for the ministry that provided us with an interest-free loan for our adoption. Everyday I have the privilege of hearing from families stepping out in faith and putting the call of God and the love of these children before their desire for financial security. To top it off I hear story after story of God’s faithful provision through various means. More than ever I believe “where God guides, He provides.”
This leads to the second thing to remember as you consider the cost of adoption; there are many financial resources available to those adopting. These include the Government’s Federal Adoption Tax Credit, interest-free loans, grants, and personal fundraising (click here for a list of these resources). Further, an increasing number of churches are helping families by establishing local church adoption funds. This enables the church body to tangibly care for people and join in the adoption journey. Don’t be afraid to share your need with others and invite them to pray and to help financially if they are able. For many, it is a joy they don’t want to miss out on!
When you look at the cost of adoption it can be daunting! Do not let it stop you in your tracks. Pray about it. Trust in God’s ability and love to provide. Then do all you can to tap into the resources available. The cost may be high but it is definitely worth it. In fact, it is priceless. It is your child that God has planned for your family!
Jason Kovacs posted this in Facts & Statistics & Featured Stories & Myths & Realities & Resources & Stories on Wednesday, April 29, 2009
This is the second post in our new series, The Reality of Adoption: Confronting Common Myths. To read Michael Monroe’s overview of the series, click here.
The Myth: It costs too much to adopt.
The Reality: With help many people making a modest income can afford to adopt.
For many families the dream of adoption ends when they see how much it costs. What was once a great desire is squashed by the reality of $20,000 - $40,000 in fees. For many, this seems impossible at first. What do you do if you find yourself in this position? Please don’t give up hope! Though the costs seem high, there is great encouragment from God’s Word about God’s ability to provide. There are also a growing number of resources available to help families with the cost of adoption.
First, remember that God personally knows the high cost of adoption. It cost Him the blood of His only son to adopt His children. The price we pay in adopting pales in comparison. Also, remember that God loves to provide for His children. Jesus said, “If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him” (Matthew 7:11). There a lot of good gifts that God gives to His children and adoption is definitely one of them! Not only does God love to provide but He is able to provide.
Paul reminds the Corinthians that “God will generously provide all they need” (2 Cor 9:8). This reminds me of the fridge magnet in my grandparents home that said something very true: “Where God guides, God provides.” If you are sensing God’s call to adopt then God will not leave you without the means. That is not to say that it will be easy. On the contrary it seems that God often likes to bring us through difficult experiences so that we will have to trust Him all the more. Though challenging, it is those times that we grow most in our relationship with the Lord and it is in these circumstances that we often see God provide in the most wonderful of ways.
My wife and I felt the call to adopt when I was just starting out in ministry. I was in a small church plant, going to seminary, and my salary was very low. We had no resources of our own and had to trust that God would provide for the whole cost of the adoption. There were many times when I struggled with believing God could or would do this but He did. Every dollar for the adoption came through gifts of family and friends, an interest-free loan, a matching grant, personal fundraising, and a grant. We experienced the whole gamete of help available! I was left humbled and awed at God’s goodness and the kindness of others!
Now four years later, I have the joy of working full-time for the ministry that provided us with an interest-free loan for our adoption. Everyday I have the privilege of hearing from families stepping out in faith and putting the call of God and the love of these children before their desire for financial security. To top it off I hear story after story of God’s faithful provision through various means. More than ever I believe “where God guides, He provides.”
This leads to the second thing to remember as you consider the cost of adoption; there are many financial resources available to those adopting. These include the Government’s Federal Adoption Tax Credit, interest-free loans, grants, and personal fundraising (click here for a list of these resources). Further, an increasing number of churches are helping families by establishing local church adoption funds. This enables the church body to tangibly care for people and join in the adoption journey. Don’t be afraid to share your need with others and invite them to pray and to help financially if they are able. For many, it is a joy they don’t want to miss out on!
When you look at the cost of adoption it can be daunting! Do not let it stop you in your tracks. Pray about it. Trust in God’s ability and love to provide. Then do all you can to tap into the resources available. The cost may be high but it is definitely worth it. In fact, it is priceless. It is your child that God has planned for your family!
Ukraine Orphan Statistics
Ukraine Orphan Statistics
The Christian Broadcasting Network studios in Kiev, Ukraine recently discussed the problems of orphans in Ukraine. These recent statistics will amaze you:
1. There are over 100,000 orphans in Ukraine.
2. The older an orphan gets, the chances for his/her adoption drastically decrease.
3. Each year many orphans between 15 to 18-years-old leave the orphanages.
4. Most of these orphans have no one to turn to for help.
5. About 10% of them will commit suicide after leaving the orphanage before their eighteenth birthday.
6. 60% of the girls will end up in prostitution
7. 70% of the boys will enter a life of crime
8. Only 27% of these youth will find work
Only 10% of orphans are in orphanages because of death of a parent, 90% are social orphans – due to alcoholism, abandonment, or imprisonment of parents. There are 450 orphanages or orphan homes in Ukraine. Of these: • 50 are baby houses • 100 are regular orphanages for ages 8-17 • 100 are boarding schools for specialized needs including learning disabilities • 100 are shelters where 30,000 children live temporarily between leaving home and being assigned to an orphanage. • 100 are private institutions, housing a total of 1000 children, mostly Christian efforts.
What do orphans need? When older orphan kids (ages 17-21), were asked this question, they unanimously agreed that the first was LOVE. And the second was TIME: come and play games, or teach the children in the orphanage. They said that money and things such as clothes, candy, toys, etc. were not so important. Visits and contact are important.
CBN showed a video interviewing grad orphans, who are now out of the orphanage, as to what is important to them. Their answers were:
1. Someone to trust
2. A person who is committed to help them
3. A flat – place to live
4. "Someone to hold my hand"
5. Moral support of friends
6. God's help
7. Moral support, not just clothes
8. To learn to be independent
When orphan kids were asked what the most painful thing about being an orphan was, this was their answer: To listen to people their own age talk about their family life. These kids are too old to be adopted. But a synonym for adoption is "belonging". They need to belong to someone who loves them and someone they can trust.
Great Link for John Piper's messages on Adoption
http://www.desiringgod.org/Search/?search=adoption
There are many amazing messages here on adoption and caring for the fatherless. Enjoy!
There are many amazing messages here on adoption and caring for the fatherless. Enjoy!
Reflecting on Yesterday - with excerpt from guest blogger
Yesterday morning, another one of "my" Ukrainian children was baptized! "My" kids is what I consider all the Ukrainian kids that have come home over the past 3 years and I have had the privilege in helping. I know all of their names and their parents names! Some of them I have been blessed to see on a regular basis. I love these children so much!
When Ashley was baptized yesterday, it was so emotional for me! Not only seeing her get baptized but all the kids who have come home from Ukraine gathering around her - I cried as much for Ashley's baptism as I did when my own two Ukrainian's got baptized a few weeks ago (my girls Katelyn and Lauren after baptism in photo)!
I think that Lynn Crooks sums it up best from his post on when Annie got baptized earlier this year. It is my heart that I will have all of "my" kids in Heaven with me! I love how Lynn described it!
First Fruit of my Orphan Ministry by Lynn Crooks
Tonight is a momentous night for me. Tonight is the first real adoption of my orphan ministry. This is what orphan ministry is all about. I am totally thrilled when a couple decides to give the gift of adoption to a child. To see a child smile from the hug of love from their new parents warms me through. To see the sparkle in the eyes of a new forever mom is precious. Yes, to see the love exchanged in a new family is worth a million dollars.But to paraphrase, what does it benefit an orphan to gain the whole world but loose their soul? Or what will an orphan give in exchange for their soul?Three years ago I introduced P & S to a Ukraine orphan hosting program. Annie came and spent the summer with P & S. From that visit a new family was born. A few months later Annie returned to America to her forever family. Each time I see Annie she gives me a hug. This child, who once had nothing, has love and the blessing of a family. Annie continues to blossom. She has also grown in the knowledge and love of our Lord Jesus Christ.So tonight Annie confessed Christ and was baptised into Him. Annie was adopted into God's eternal family. This is the adoption that really counts.When I started Families for the Children I was convicted that every child deserves to be a member of 3 families:
A FOREVER FAMILY here on earth who will love them unconditionally.
A CHURCH FAMILY who will pray for and nurture them.
GOD'S FAMILY to the glory of Jesus Christ.
Tonight, Annie has all three families. God is good.
Tonight is a momentous night for me. Tonight is the first real adoption of my orphan ministry. This is what orphan ministry is all about. I am totally thrilled when a couple decides to give the gift of adoption to a child. To see a child smile from the hug of love from their new parents warms me through. To see the sparkle in the eyes of a new forever mom is precious. Yes, to see the love exchanged in a new family is worth a million dollars.But to paraphrase, what does it benefit an orphan to gain the whole world but loose their soul? Or what will an orphan give in exchange for their soul?Three years ago I introduced P & S to a Ukraine orphan hosting program. Annie came and spent the summer with P & S. From that visit a new family was born. A few months later Annie returned to America to her forever family. Each time I see Annie she gives me a hug. This child, who once had nothing, has love and the blessing of a family. Annie continues to blossom. She has also grown in the knowledge and love of our Lord Jesus Christ.So tonight Annie confessed Christ and was baptised into Him. Annie was adopted into God's eternal family. This is the adoption that really counts.When I started Families for the Children I was convicted that every child deserves to be a member of 3 families:
A FOREVER FAMILY here on earth who will love them unconditionally.
A CHURCH FAMILY who will pray for and nurture them.
GOD'S FAMILY to the glory of Jesus Christ.
Tonight, Annie has all three families. God is good.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
GUEST BLOGGER - DR. DAVID
I recall an observation I often made during my years practicing obstetrics. Occasionally woman entering the hard stage of labor, in their distress at the intensity and relentlessness of the pain, would cry out something to the effect, “I can’t do this! Make it stop!” At times, they would beg me to “Take the baby now!” because they could bear it no longer. My human heart was always compelled by their anguish, always moved by the extremity of their pleas.
When a mother in labor cries out, “I can’t do this!” I think of two things that I know are true. The first, by the end of the night, one way or another, this baby will be born. This labor will move forward, unabated, heedless of the mother’s pleas for respite. My job, of course, is to help this woman find a way to navigate through her distress, to find the healthy, positive outcome that is now eluding her. This involves the second thing I know to be true.
This woman believes that she is at the end of herself. She feels spent, yet knows that the full measure of her test still lies ahead of her. She is terrified at what comes next. What happens when you are used up, and you must endure more, what happens then? It is a frightful fearsome place to be. She knows, truly, that I cannot just “make it stop.” She knows, I cannot just “take the baby now,” but this panic that grips her, is not about something that makes sense, it is about being lost.
But I know something that she does not. I know that she is not at the end of herself, far from it. She has not scratched the surface of the power and strength that lies still within her. She has not yet reached down into herself, drawn from the well of her soul strength. I have seen people do this in my medical practice many times, valiant people, who, when the need calls for it, draw amazing things from within themselves that they never knew they had.
I have seen it enough to be convinced that nearly everyone has such untapped resources within them. When people reach down and draw such an awesome thing out, it is often recognized and described as courage, and truly, it is. But what kind of courage? Just a few hours before, the woman in labor was pleading for reprieve. Where did her courage come from? Where did she find it? If this is something we all possess within us, where does one find such a thing?
Mark Twain said, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave.” So it is with the women in labor who cries out in her anguish, “I can’t do this!” then goes on to fiercely battle the very thing she so fears, until in the end, she delivers a beautiful healthy baby. She truly is the brave coward who resists fear, who masters fear.
Was the woman in labor courageous? I would say emphatically, yes! However, in that desperate moment, when she felt that she had truly reached the end of herself, there was no courage evident. If it were possible, she would have quit then. It was the fact of her being compelled to endure the unendurable that led her to discover her true ability. Carl Sandburg said, “Valor is a gift. Those having it never know for sure whether they have it till the test comes.” Courageous she was, but courage arose from within her because of what she did. She did not do what she did because of her courage.
I have seen this happen to people caught in impossible situations many times. It is the necessity of the impossible situations that draws out more from people than they think they have in them, including the courage they think they need for the task. It is tricky semantically, but it is not a subtle distinction. It is the action that generates the courage, not the courage that generates the action.
Orphans too, I think, find themselves in an impossible situation. With both of their parents gone, orphaned children are without the essential, irreplaceable ingredient God intended for their healthy growth and development. No one is more truly alone, lost or adrift in the World than an orphaned child. Sometimes, orphans are placed in Institutions, raised without any parents, without any families, as our two new daughters were. Rather than being nurturing or warm places, these Institutions are frequently hostile, cold and indifferent places. Life for orphans too often becomes about survival rather than about love, safety and nurture.
Are these little ones brave? Yes! I say, yes! Do they have a choice but to be brave? Our orphans are much the same as the mothers in labor, in an impossible situation, to be sure. They could scream out in their pain in the same way, “Make it stop! Make it stop!” Likewise, “Make my parents not be dead, make me have my family back, make me be loved again!” But, like with the mothers in labor, none of deepest passion of their desire or want changes a thing. They are forced to deal with the fact that they are orphaned, and as a result, they have been harmed and they continue to be harmed. The courage they draw on to face their trial comes from within, from surviving. They have no other choice. Lucius Annaeus Seneca said, “Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”
I never think about courage without thinking about Stephen, a noteworthy member of the first church in Jerusalem. I am jarred by what Stephen did back then. It shakes me to my core. Do you remember the story? Stephen was arrested on false charges and was brought before the Sanhedrin for a public hearing. They asked Stephen to give an answer to the charges, to give a response if the charges brought against him were true.
These Sanhedrin guys were dangerous. Out in the open, in public like this, the whole thing was their show. These guys were arrogant and powerful. This was not the place to mess around, to take a stand or to make a point. If anything was going to go down here, it was going to go down their way. Stephen, if he had been smart, would have played along, taken his lumps and then lived to fight another day. Anyone would have done that. Anyone of us would have done that. Why didn’t Stephen? This has always vexed me. Stephen launched into a long monologue outlining the history of Israel. Then when he finished his lecture, he delivered a daring accusation of his own. He accused his accusers of betraying and murdering the “Righteous One,” Jesus Christ. Why did he do that? Were did that come from?!
The charges they accused Stephen of were trumped up, false, not true. On the other hand, the charges Stephen leveled at the Sanhedrin guys were dead-on true. These guys really had betrayed and murdered Jesus Christ. But what did Stephen think he was doing? All he needed to do was just play it safe, go along, pay the fine so to speak, get his hands slapped and he would have been on his way. What was this deal, calling them out like this? Was he crazy? Did he have a death wish?
I don’t know, but I think what he did demonstrates one of the most remarkable examples of Christian moral courage you can find anywhere, what I would consider a reckless disregard for danger while standing absolutely firmly in the right, and I admire it tremendously. A Christian can offer that kind of action to God and then leave the results up to God, for whatever purposes He wants. In Stephens case, his execution at the hands of the angry Sanhedrin was ultimately responsible for the spread of the gospel throughout the then known world and the rest is history, as they say.
Was Stephen courageous? Sure he was. Maybe in a reckless, crazy sort of way, but certainly heroically courageous. However, consider this, did Stephen do what he did because he was a courageous man, or did his courage derive from doing what he did? In other words, did it take a courageous man to do what Stephen did, or did it just take a man in Stephens place to DO what Stephen did? Many might think Stephan was a special guy, a courageous guy. I say, maybe not, maybe he was just a regular guy, a regular guy who just DID a brave thing when he had a chance.
The difference between Stephen’s courage and the courage of the woman in labor and the courage of our orphans is that Stephan stood there in a moment of choice. The woman in labor and the orphans have no choice. Stephen chose to take the action he did. This is the single thing about Stephen that captures my imagination most. When he finished his long monolog about the history of Israel, there was a moment of decision. A brief, private moment in his mind, known between only himself and God, a moment when he made a decision, whether to play it safe, or to go on and say what he did. What happens in a Christian’s mind in that moment of decision? In that moment, when that choice is made to choose something that is safe or to choose something that recklessly disregards danger.
I believe every Christian makes these kinds of choices every day, all of the time, choices between what is safe and what is daring and reckless.
But we don’t see Christians running around doing a lot of reckless and daring things, do we? Am I suggesting that Christians should start running around and doing a lot of reckless and dangerous things? That would be irresponsible of me if I was, wouldn’t it?
Well, I’m going to step in it and suggest two things that, in my humble opinion, inhibit today’s church, inhibit the MEN in today’s church, and that inhibit ME, from receiving a full measure of the blessing I think God wants to give us and from achieving the results I think God wants to see.
First, I don’t think Christians dream big enough. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” The Christian church today, at least the ones I’ve attended in my life, and the ones I’ve heard about in my life, and especially the ordinary men in those churches, myself included, live this way, for the most part, live “lives of quiet desperation,” “in the grey twilight.” Must it be this way, I ask. Henry David Thoreau said, “It is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.”
The church has its Billy Grahams, David Wilkersons and Chuck Swindols; we can’t all be like that, right? There have to be the regular people too, right? I used to think that too, but I’m starting to not buy it anymore. Think about this, the SDA in Ukraine released data in October. They say they have 21,000 orphans in their files eligible for International adoption, 11,000 of the kids are between 12 and 17 years of age. This is just Ukraine, I wonder, what are the numbers in the United States, and for the World? This I know, there are not enough Billy Grahams and Chuck Swindols on hand to do what God has in mind for the World’s orphans. But there are plenty of ordinary Christians, more than enough to make all the difference needed for the tens of thousands of orphans in the World. What does it take from ordinary Christians to accomplish this? I say we need a lot more Christians out there recklessly disregarding danger.
What do I mean exactly by recklessly disregarding danger? G. K. Chesterton said, “Courage is almost a contradiction in terms: it means a strong desire to live taking the form of readiness to die.” If a hopelessly outnumbered band of solders finds themselves surrounded by their enemy, they have two choices. One, attack the enemy, suicidally throwing themselves directly at the encroaching enemy masses in an all out attack. In other words, at least go out in a blaze of glory. Or two, form ranks into a tight defensive arrangement designed to keep the enemy hordes at bay and wait them out. Circle the wagons, so to speak.
The second option seems the most prudent course of action. It would be the safest choice. It follows natural instinct, to protect ones life. However, one by one, each soldier in the defensive circle will be patiently picked off by the enemy, no matter how well devised the defense may be, until eventually, every single one of the embattled soldiers will be completely annihilated. The second defensive option, while being the natural choice, results invariably in certain failure, assuming no rescue is forthcoming. And in my example, there is no rescue.
Chesterton says that, “The paradox of courage is that a man must be a little careless of his life in order to keep it.” If the small band of soldiers decides to attack, against all the odds, throwing caution to the wind, with the knowledge that their lives are forfeit anyway, the irony is that such an act actually saves them. It is the fierceness of the attack, the wonton abandon, the full measure of hold-nothing-back reckless disregard for danger that is the very thing that makes a victory possible. The phalanx charging out explosively from the center has a chance of victory due the ferocity and viciousness of its attack, it can break through the enemy encircling them to escape and survive. This G. K. Chesterton would call courage.
Does this band of soldiers have the choice in their actions, in the way Stephen did, to call upon that resource from deep within them, that thing we all have deep within all of us, that we would name as courage? Was it a moment of choice, a moment like Stephen’s? Or are the band of soldiers more like our orphans or the woman in labor, who have no choice, who are trapped in their fate? Those who draw on their courage out of necessity? No, no, the soldiers are the masters of their fate, it is their choice to make, is it not? Hold fast, in an apparently safe defense, slowly to die in an ignoble, anonymous desperate “grey twilight.” Or the other choice, the reckless and seemingly careless choice, to rise up and “dare mighty things to win glorious triumphs.”
So, I do not think Christians dream big enough. The second thing I’m throwing out that I think inhibits Christians revolves around the whole concept of being “called.” Let me start out with my disclaimer. I’m all for being “called.” Paul said he was “called to be an Apostle.” That’s great, but here’s my problem, I have seen more Christians AVOID doing God’s work because they tell me they have NOT been called to this or that than I have seen people DOING things because they tell me they HAVE been called. As far as I know, “calling” is not a prerequisite for doing ANYTHING. I’m not interested into getting into doctrinal discussions and arguments if that is where this topic might lead, to my mind that would be more of the same, avoiding DOING things.
Here’s what I think is going on. Most Christian’s are just plain outright scared. To my mind, it’s really usually just about fear. That’s fine, but when did it become easy to hide behind the excuse of not being “called” to avoid appearing afraid? Was it so people did not have to lose the appearance of piety that being afraid might threaten? There is an English Proverb that says, “Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.” Maybe some have been thought pious when they were just cowards, afraid to engage.
Here is what I notice happens when someone invokes the “called” trump in a Christian conversation. The conversation ends. When someone says, “I don’t feel led,” or “I don’t feel called,” it puts an immediate stopper on the discussion. It is as if they are saying, “God is telling me,” and you can’t argue with God. There’s a double bonus in it for them too. Not only does it get you off their back, it makes them look close to God. Better yet, you can’t touch them. If you try to call them on the deception, it just turns back around on you and makes you look bad. A message from God is unassailable.
I’m telling you, this dishonesty in the Christian church is stifling God’s work and allowing fear to dominate the programs and strategic plans of most churches. The result is passive men and dying churches. Like G. K. Chesterton’s small band of soldiers, we are huddled defensively, surrounded by enemies and doomed to die.
What do we need? I think we need courage. I think we need courage of the G. K. Chesterton kind. Where do we find it? Where do we find courageous men, the men who will be a little careless of their life in order to keep it, the men who will save us? Where are the courageous when we need them? I say, we will never find them. I say, there are no courageous people. There is only you and me, regular, ordinary people. There is no one else. If we wait for courage, we will be lost. What we need, simply, is only action, and that we can do. It is not hard. Taking action is something any of us and all of us can do. Courage, if we need it, when we need it, comes out of us, from within us, when we act.
“One day, Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into the boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Why were you afraid?” he asked his disciples.” In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this?”
Yes, who indeed? That is truly the right question to ask. When Stephen asked it, his answer involved reckless disregard for danger. James A. Garfield said, “If there is one thing upon this earth that mankind love and admire better than another, it is a brave man, — it is the man who dares to look the devil in the face and tell him he is a devil.” God wants such men, God uses such men.
How then to overcome living out our lives in small dreams? How then to avoid living out our lives in a series of meaningless “callings” that allow us to avoid truly dangerous pursuits. How then can we live lives resistant to fear, lives of courage, lives of reckless disregard for danger—the fear that would impede the courage that would make us alive.
Paul explained this to Timothy. “God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.” Jesus asked the disciples in the boat, “Why were you afraid?” We must remember who it is that we have “in the boat” with us. Do we live different lives when we remember that? Do we make different choices when we remember that? Think about choices, the choices we make. The choice the small band of overwhelmed soldiers makes, the choice Stephen makes, everything is about our choices, really. Choices to take action, to do something. Will they be the safe choices or will we dare to be reckless, to abandon our fears?
Courage. We know intuitively that there is something powerful untapped deep within us. We see what people can do when they find themselves facing impossible situations. The woman in labor who thinks she is at the end of herself, the small band of soldiers completely and hopelessly surrounded. Stephen making a choice. A courageous decision made with reckless disregard for the danger it posed to himself. I admire Stephen. And why? Was he special?
People tell me in the aftermath of my adoption trip to Ukraine that, “I could never do what you have done.” Really? Am I so special? If I am, then God help all of those tens of thousands of orphans out there that need families, because I can’t adopt them all. Forgive my sarcasm, but you get my point. I certainly know that there is nothing special about me. And I don’t think there was anything special about Stephan either. I’ve thought a lot about this. Stephan had a crucial moment of decision. And I think he was just a regular guy, just like you and me. He could have chosen the sane and safe, or as he did, the reckless and daring. We all have the same options, the same choices, all of the time. God used Stephan, God can use us, he does use us. What will we DO, then, when we make our choices? Everything is about what we DO. It’s ACTION. All we have to do, is DO.
Is there anyone thinking about what they might DO when I speak about doing? Consider this, thousands upon thousands of orphans are plucking what courage they can muster to face life alone and they have no choice. Whatever courage we may require to face the things WE choose to DO, is accessible to us from that untapped place deep within us, we do not need to be courageous people first. I have been told by many, “I could never do what you have done.” I say to any and to all, “Yes, you can. All of you can do what I have done.”
Now everyone, hear what it is I am saying. Consider yourselves called. Go and adopt one or more of God’s precious orphans. And don’t take too long doing it. Every day orphans are having birthdays that age them out, forever losing them the opportunity to have a home in a Christian family.
For more of Dr. David's incredible insight, go to: http://doctordavid.wordpress.com/author/dr4david/
When a mother in labor cries out, “I can’t do this!” I think of two things that I know are true. The first, by the end of the night, one way or another, this baby will be born. This labor will move forward, unabated, heedless of the mother’s pleas for respite. My job, of course, is to help this woman find a way to navigate through her distress, to find the healthy, positive outcome that is now eluding her. This involves the second thing I know to be true.
This woman believes that she is at the end of herself. She feels spent, yet knows that the full measure of her test still lies ahead of her. She is terrified at what comes next. What happens when you are used up, and you must endure more, what happens then? It is a frightful fearsome place to be. She knows, truly, that I cannot just “make it stop.” She knows, I cannot just “take the baby now,” but this panic that grips her, is not about something that makes sense, it is about being lost.
But I know something that she does not. I know that she is not at the end of herself, far from it. She has not scratched the surface of the power and strength that lies still within her. She has not yet reached down into herself, drawn from the well of her soul strength. I have seen people do this in my medical practice many times, valiant people, who, when the need calls for it, draw amazing things from within themselves that they never knew they had.
I have seen it enough to be convinced that nearly everyone has such untapped resources within them. When people reach down and draw such an awesome thing out, it is often recognized and described as courage, and truly, it is. But what kind of courage? Just a few hours before, the woman in labor was pleading for reprieve. Where did her courage come from? Where did she find it? If this is something we all possess within us, where does one find such a thing?
Mark Twain said, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave.” So it is with the women in labor who cries out in her anguish, “I can’t do this!” then goes on to fiercely battle the very thing she so fears, until in the end, she delivers a beautiful healthy baby. She truly is the brave coward who resists fear, who masters fear.
Was the woman in labor courageous? I would say emphatically, yes! However, in that desperate moment, when she felt that she had truly reached the end of herself, there was no courage evident. If it were possible, she would have quit then. It was the fact of her being compelled to endure the unendurable that led her to discover her true ability. Carl Sandburg said, “Valor is a gift. Those having it never know for sure whether they have it till the test comes.” Courageous she was, but courage arose from within her because of what she did. She did not do what she did because of her courage.
I have seen this happen to people caught in impossible situations many times. It is the necessity of the impossible situations that draws out more from people than they think they have in them, including the courage they think they need for the task. It is tricky semantically, but it is not a subtle distinction. It is the action that generates the courage, not the courage that generates the action.
Orphans too, I think, find themselves in an impossible situation. With both of their parents gone, orphaned children are without the essential, irreplaceable ingredient God intended for their healthy growth and development. No one is more truly alone, lost or adrift in the World than an orphaned child. Sometimes, orphans are placed in Institutions, raised without any parents, without any families, as our two new daughters were. Rather than being nurturing or warm places, these Institutions are frequently hostile, cold and indifferent places. Life for orphans too often becomes about survival rather than about love, safety and nurture.
Are these little ones brave? Yes! I say, yes! Do they have a choice but to be brave? Our orphans are much the same as the mothers in labor, in an impossible situation, to be sure. They could scream out in their pain in the same way, “Make it stop! Make it stop!” Likewise, “Make my parents not be dead, make me have my family back, make me be loved again!” But, like with the mothers in labor, none of deepest passion of their desire or want changes a thing. They are forced to deal with the fact that they are orphaned, and as a result, they have been harmed and they continue to be harmed. The courage they draw on to face their trial comes from within, from surviving. They have no other choice. Lucius Annaeus Seneca said, “Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”
I never think about courage without thinking about Stephen, a noteworthy member of the first church in Jerusalem. I am jarred by what Stephen did back then. It shakes me to my core. Do you remember the story? Stephen was arrested on false charges and was brought before the Sanhedrin for a public hearing. They asked Stephen to give an answer to the charges, to give a response if the charges brought against him were true.
These Sanhedrin guys were dangerous. Out in the open, in public like this, the whole thing was their show. These guys were arrogant and powerful. This was not the place to mess around, to take a stand or to make a point. If anything was going to go down here, it was going to go down their way. Stephen, if he had been smart, would have played along, taken his lumps and then lived to fight another day. Anyone would have done that. Anyone of us would have done that. Why didn’t Stephen? This has always vexed me. Stephen launched into a long monologue outlining the history of Israel. Then when he finished his lecture, he delivered a daring accusation of his own. He accused his accusers of betraying and murdering the “Righteous One,” Jesus Christ. Why did he do that? Were did that come from?!
The charges they accused Stephen of were trumped up, false, not true. On the other hand, the charges Stephen leveled at the Sanhedrin guys were dead-on true. These guys really had betrayed and murdered Jesus Christ. But what did Stephen think he was doing? All he needed to do was just play it safe, go along, pay the fine so to speak, get his hands slapped and he would have been on his way. What was this deal, calling them out like this? Was he crazy? Did he have a death wish?
I don’t know, but I think what he did demonstrates one of the most remarkable examples of Christian moral courage you can find anywhere, what I would consider a reckless disregard for danger while standing absolutely firmly in the right, and I admire it tremendously. A Christian can offer that kind of action to God and then leave the results up to God, for whatever purposes He wants. In Stephens case, his execution at the hands of the angry Sanhedrin was ultimately responsible for the spread of the gospel throughout the then known world and the rest is history, as they say.
Was Stephen courageous? Sure he was. Maybe in a reckless, crazy sort of way, but certainly heroically courageous. However, consider this, did Stephen do what he did because he was a courageous man, or did his courage derive from doing what he did? In other words, did it take a courageous man to do what Stephen did, or did it just take a man in Stephens place to DO what Stephen did? Many might think Stephan was a special guy, a courageous guy. I say, maybe not, maybe he was just a regular guy, a regular guy who just DID a brave thing when he had a chance.
The difference between Stephen’s courage and the courage of the woman in labor and the courage of our orphans is that Stephan stood there in a moment of choice. The woman in labor and the orphans have no choice. Stephen chose to take the action he did. This is the single thing about Stephen that captures my imagination most. When he finished his long monolog about the history of Israel, there was a moment of decision. A brief, private moment in his mind, known between only himself and God, a moment when he made a decision, whether to play it safe, or to go on and say what he did. What happens in a Christian’s mind in that moment of decision? In that moment, when that choice is made to choose something that is safe or to choose something that recklessly disregards danger.
I believe every Christian makes these kinds of choices every day, all of the time, choices between what is safe and what is daring and reckless.
But we don’t see Christians running around doing a lot of reckless and daring things, do we? Am I suggesting that Christians should start running around and doing a lot of reckless and dangerous things? That would be irresponsible of me if I was, wouldn’t it?
Well, I’m going to step in it and suggest two things that, in my humble opinion, inhibit today’s church, inhibit the MEN in today’s church, and that inhibit ME, from receiving a full measure of the blessing I think God wants to give us and from achieving the results I think God wants to see.
First, I don’t think Christians dream big enough. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” The Christian church today, at least the ones I’ve attended in my life, and the ones I’ve heard about in my life, and especially the ordinary men in those churches, myself included, live this way, for the most part, live “lives of quiet desperation,” “in the grey twilight.” Must it be this way, I ask. Henry David Thoreau said, “It is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.”
The church has its Billy Grahams, David Wilkersons and Chuck Swindols; we can’t all be like that, right? There have to be the regular people too, right? I used to think that too, but I’m starting to not buy it anymore. Think about this, the SDA in Ukraine released data in October. They say they have 21,000 orphans in their files eligible for International adoption, 11,000 of the kids are between 12 and 17 years of age. This is just Ukraine, I wonder, what are the numbers in the United States, and for the World? This I know, there are not enough Billy Grahams and Chuck Swindols on hand to do what God has in mind for the World’s orphans. But there are plenty of ordinary Christians, more than enough to make all the difference needed for the tens of thousands of orphans in the World. What does it take from ordinary Christians to accomplish this? I say we need a lot more Christians out there recklessly disregarding danger.
What do I mean exactly by recklessly disregarding danger? G. K. Chesterton said, “Courage is almost a contradiction in terms: it means a strong desire to live taking the form of readiness to die.” If a hopelessly outnumbered band of solders finds themselves surrounded by their enemy, they have two choices. One, attack the enemy, suicidally throwing themselves directly at the encroaching enemy masses in an all out attack. In other words, at least go out in a blaze of glory. Or two, form ranks into a tight defensive arrangement designed to keep the enemy hordes at bay and wait them out. Circle the wagons, so to speak.
The second option seems the most prudent course of action. It would be the safest choice. It follows natural instinct, to protect ones life. However, one by one, each soldier in the defensive circle will be patiently picked off by the enemy, no matter how well devised the defense may be, until eventually, every single one of the embattled soldiers will be completely annihilated. The second defensive option, while being the natural choice, results invariably in certain failure, assuming no rescue is forthcoming. And in my example, there is no rescue.
Chesterton says that, “The paradox of courage is that a man must be a little careless of his life in order to keep it.” If the small band of soldiers decides to attack, against all the odds, throwing caution to the wind, with the knowledge that their lives are forfeit anyway, the irony is that such an act actually saves them. It is the fierceness of the attack, the wonton abandon, the full measure of hold-nothing-back reckless disregard for danger that is the very thing that makes a victory possible. The phalanx charging out explosively from the center has a chance of victory due the ferocity and viciousness of its attack, it can break through the enemy encircling them to escape and survive. This G. K. Chesterton would call courage.
Does this band of soldiers have the choice in their actions, in the way Stephen did, to call upon that resource from deep within them, that thing we all have deep within all of us, that we would name as courage? Was it a moment of choice, a moment like Stephen’s? Or are the band of soldiers more like our orphans or the woman in labor, who have no choice, who are trapped in their fate? Those who draw on their courage out of necessity? No, no, the soldiers are the masters of their fate, it is their choice to make, is it not? Hold fast, in an apparently safe defense, slowly to die in an ignoble, anonymous desperate “grey twilight.” Or the other choice, the reckless and seemingly careless choice, to rise up and “dare mighty things to win glorious triumphs.”
So, I do not think Christians dream big enough. The second thing I’m throwing out that I think inhibits Christians revolves around the whole concept of being “called.” Let me start out with my disclaimer. I’m all for being “called.” Paul said he was “called to be an Apostle.” That’s great, but here’s my problem, I have seen more Christians AVOID doing God’s work because they tell me they have NOT been called to this or that than I have seen people DOING things because they tell me they HAVE been called. As far as I know, “calling” is not a prerequisite for doing ANYTHING. I’m not interested into getting into doctrinal discussions and arguments if that is where this topic might lead, to my mind that would be more of the same, avoiding DOING things.
Here’s what I think is going on. Most Christian’s are just plain outright scared. To my mind, it’s really usually just about fear. That’s fine, but when did it become easy to hide behind the excuse of not being “called” to avoid appearing afraid? Was it so people did not have to lose the appearance of piety that being afraid might threaten? There is an English Proverb that says, “Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.” Maybe some have been thought pious when they were just cowards, afraid to engage.
Here is what I notice happens when someone invokes the “called” trump in a Christian conversation. The conversation ends. When someone says, “I don’t feel led,” or “I don’t feel called,” it puts an immediate stopper on the discussion. It is as if they are saying, “God is telling me,” and you can’t argue with God. There’s a double bonus in it for them too. Not only does it get you off their back, it makes them look close to God. Better yet, you can’t touch them. If you try to call them on the deception, it just turns back around on you and makes you look bad. A message from God is unassailable.
I’m telling you, this dishonesty in the Christian church is stifling God’s work and allowing fear to dominate the programs and strategic plans of most churches. The result is passive men and dying churches. Like G. K. Chesterton’s small band of soldiers, we are huddled defensively, surrounded by enemies and doomed to die.
What do we need? I think we need courage. I think we need courage of the G. K. Chesterton kind. Where do we find it? Where do we find courageous men, the men who will be a little careless of their life in order to keep it, the men who will save us? Where are the courageous when we need them? I say, we will never find them. I say, there are no courageous people. There is only you and me, regular, ordinary people. There is no one else. If we wait for courage, we will be lost. What we need, simply, is only action, and that we can do. It is not hard. Taking action is something any of us and all of us can do. Courage, if we need it, when we need it, comes out of us, from within us, when we act.
“One day, Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into the boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Why were you afraid?” he asked his disciples.” In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this?”
Yes, who indeed? That is truly the right question to ask. When Stephen asked it, his answer involved reckless disregard for danger. James A. Garfield said, “If there is one thing upon this earth that mankind love and admire better than another, it is a brave man, — it is the man who dares to look the devil in the face and tell him he is a devil.” God wants such men, God uses such men.
How then to overcome living out our lives in small dreams? How then to avoid living out our lives in a series of meaningless “callings” that allow us to avoid truly dangerous pursuits. How then can we live lives resistant to fear, lives of courage, lives of reckless disregard for danger—the fear that would impede the courage that would make us alive.
Paul explained this to Timothy. “God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline.” Jesus asked the disciples in the boat, “Why were you afraid?” We must remember who it is that we have “in the boat” with us. Do we live different lives when we remember that? Do we make different choices when we remember that? Think about choices, the choices we make. The choice the small band of overwhelmed soldiers makes, the choice Stephen makes, everything is about our choices, really. Choices to take action, to do something. Will they be the safe choices or will we dare to be reckless, to abandon our fears?
Courage. We know intuitively that there is something powerful untapped deep within us. We see what people can do when they find themselves facing impossible situations. The woman in labor who thinks she is at the end of herself, the small band of soldiers completely and hopelessly surrounded. Stephen making a choice. A courageous decision made with reckless disregard for the danger it posed to himself. I admire Stephen. And why? Was he special?
People tell me in the aftermath of my adoption trip to Ukraine that, “I could never do what you have done.” Really? Am I so special? If I am, then God help all of those tens of thousands of orphans out there that need families, because I can’t adopt them all. Forgive my sarcasm, but you get my point. I certainly know that there is nothing special about me. And I don’t think there was anything special about Stephan either. I’ve thought a lot about this. Stephan had a crucial moment of decision. And I think he was just a regular guy, just like you and me. He could have chosen the sane and safe, or as he did, the reckless and daring. We all have the same options, the same choices, all of the time. God used Stephan, God can use us, he does use us. What will we DO, then, when we make our choices? Everything is about what we DO. It’s ACTION. All we have to do, is DO.
Is there anyone thinking about what they might DO when I speak about doing? Consider this, thousands upon thousands of orphans are plucking what courage they can muster to face life alone and they have no choice. Whatever courage we may require to face the things WE choose to DO, is accessible to us from that untapped place deep within us, we do not need to be courageous people first. I have been told by many, “I could never do what you have done.” I say to any and to all, “Yes, you can. All of you can do what I have done.”
Now everyone, hear what it is I am saying. Consider yourselves called. Go and adopt one or more of God’s precious orphans. And don’t take too long doing it. Every day orphans are having birthdays that age them out, forever losing them the opportunity to have a home in a Christian family.
For more of Dr. David's incredible insight, go to: http://doctordavid.wordpress.com/author/dr4david/
Song I wrote for my daughters while I was waiting
While I was waiting to get my appointment date to adopt my daughters - I couldn't help but think and anguish over how they felt. I am not a song writer but the words came tumbling out about how I thought she must be feeling.
UNSPOKEN PRAYERS by Lydia Tarr
She's scared and all alone,
So afraid of the unknown.
There's a feeling of emptiness
she can't explain.
For now she tries to forget her pain.
Unspoken prayers that have no voice
Born into a life where she had no choice
A hope buried deep
Grows inside her while she sleeps
Will anyone ever hear her silent cries
Before the hope inside her dies?
Will anyone ever hear
Her cry of loneliness and fear?
When will these feelings ever fade?
Maybe someday
Things will change and start to go her way.
God hears the cry of this forgotten child
Whose future seems so bleak
He knows what she needs and doesn't have
And in His plans has the answer to the prayer she doesn't speak.
A child cries to be heard
Her silence screams without a word.
It echoes deep within my heart
A call so strong
For me to not listen would be wrong.
Unspoken prayers that have no voice
Born into a life where she had no choice
A hope buried deep
Grows inside her while she sleeps
Will anyone ever hear her silent cries
Before the hope inside her dies?
Could it actually be
The cry was really meant for me?
Can I help her forget her pain
Or do I care?
God, am I the answer to her prayer?
UNSPOKEN PRAYERS by Lydia Tarr
She's scared and all alone,
So afraid of the unknown.
There's a feeling of emptiness
she can't explain.
For now she tries to forget her pain.
Unspoken prayers that have no voice
Born into a life where she had no choice
A hope buried deep
Grows inside her while she sleeps
Will anyone ever hear her silent cries
Before the hope inside her dies?
Will anyone ever hear
Her cry of loneliness and fear?
When will these feelings ever fade?
Maybe someday
Things will change and start to go her way.
God hears the cry of this forgotten child
Whose future seems so bleak
He knows what she needs and doesn't have
And in His plans has the answer to the prayer she doesn't speak.
A child cries to be heard
Her silence screams without a word.
It echoes deep within my heart
A call so strong
For me to not listen would be wrong.
Unspoken prayers that have no voice
Born into a life where she had no choice
A hope buried deep
Grows inside her while she sleeps
Will anyone ever hear her silent cries
Before the hope inside her dies?
Could it actually be
The cry was really meant for me?
Can I help her forget her pain
Or do I care?
God, am I the answer to her prayer?
Pouring out my heart through a poem
My Heart For The Children
by Lydia Tarr
Little ones crying, no comfort is theirs
Older ones dying with no one who cares.
Alone in their misery and no joy in their soul
Their hope finally dies, life has taken its toll.
I can't save them all but I'll do my share
To show to the world how Jesus would care.
He would open His heart and and all that He gave
Would be theirs without asking - their lives He would save.
Not fame, nor fortune or riches found
Bring life real happiness or a future that's sound.
Giving to others and true love He did give
Is the example He set - in the life He did live.
He gave up His crown and throne up above
To live on this earth and show us His love.
He who welcomes a child like this in His name
Reflects the true heart of God - for He did the same.
I wish I could go back and change the way I did live
I'd make different choices and more I would give.
I've had so many chances but consumed by my greed
I've lived a life for myself and ignored their need.
I'd gladly trade the glitter of gold,
The sparkle of diamonds and treasures untold.
To be a tool in God's hand, to sacrifice for His gain
To give children a future and relieve them their pain.
Treasures in Heaven is what we're told we should store
But we live in a world that's consumed to buy more.
Let not moth nor rust come to destroy
The rewards earned in heaven, is a giver's true joy.
Is it only for some that can hear God's call
Or a command from above to relinquish our all?
Fields of the fatherless - the needs that aren't heard
The answer can be found if we would seek God's word.
A smile on their face and joy they should know
What every child needs in order to grow.
A family who's willing to show them true love
Like the measure we're given from God up above.
Oh Lord please remind me - each and every day
To get down on my knees and for them I will pray.
Remember the children, for them I speak
A home for them all I will continue to seek.
The spirit of adoption reveals a religion that's pure
God's heart for the children - a love that is sure.
Consider their future, for He did the same
By adopting us in and giving us His name.
He grafted us in to a vine not our own
So that we too could call Heaven our family home.
Showing compassion and mercy, reflecting God's glory
Opening hearts and homes - a new end to their story.
by Lydia Tarr
Little ones crying, no comfort is theirs
Older ones dying with no one who cares.
Alone in their misery and no joy in their soul
Their hope finally dies, life has taken its toll.
I can't save them all but I'll do my share
To show to the world how Jesus would care.
He would open His heart and and all that He gave
Would be theirs without asking - their lives He would save.
Not fame, nor fortune or riches found
Bring life real happiness or a future that's sound.
Giving to others and true love He did give
Is the example He set - in the life He did live.
He gave up His crown and throne up above
To live on this earth and show us His love.
He who welcomes a child like this in His name
Reflects the true heart of God - for He did the same.
I wish I could go back and change the way I did live
I'd make different choices and more I would give.
I've had so many chances but consumed by my greed
I've lived a life for myself and ignored their need.
I'd gladly trade the glitter of gold,
The sparkle of diamonds and treasures untold.
To be a tool in God's hand, to sacrifice for His gain
To give children a future and relieve them their pain.
Treasures in Heaven is what we're told we should store
But we live in a world that's consumed to buy more.
Let not moth nor rust come to destroy
The rewards earned in heaven, is a giver's true joy.
Is it only for some that can hear God's call
Or a command from above to relinquish our all?
Fields of the fatherless - the needs that aren't heard
The answer can be found if we would seek God's word.
A smile on their face and joy they should know
What every child needs in order to grow.
A family who's willing to show them true love
Like the measure we're given from God up above.
Oh Lord please remind me - each and every day
To get down on my knees and for them I will pray.
Remember the children, for them I speak
A home for them all I will continue to seek.
The spirit of adoption reveals a religion that's pure
God's heart for the children - a love that is sure.
Consider their future, for He did the same
By adopting us in and giving us His name.
He grafted us in to a vine not our own
So that we too could call Heaven our family home.
Showing compassion and mercy, reflecting God's glory
Opening hearts and homes - a new end to their story.
The first of my ramblings
I started this blog as an outlet for all my thoughts and my passion for orphans and adoption. I have dreamed about writing a book but there are others who have done that so much better than I could ever do - many of the ones that have influenced my life are in my profile under favorite books.
There is so much to share about adoption and what the Bible has to say about it - I am not sure where to begin! I pray that as you read my ramblings that God will stir your heart and that you will join me in advocating for the fatherless. When I first felt called to adoption ministry, I felt that if more Christian families knew how great the need was, and if someone was willing to hold their hand during the process - that more Christians would step out in faith and answer the cry of the orphan.
Here is an article I wrote that sums it all up:
The Unheard Cries by Lydia Tarr
“Innocent eyes filled with fear, arms aching to be holding on, hands reaching out but no one is there, how long, how long must this go on? Listen can you hear their falling tears, Can you feel their pain? Does your heart reach out to them, or do you turn away? Precious lives tossed aside, they don’t fit in our perfect lives, Innocent ones don’t understand why, their innocence just slips on by.” Rachel’s Children written by Joy McClain.
As I begin, I fervently pray that I can help people to hear the cries of the waiting children all over the world. My heart’s desire is to open the ears of the church to something that we have turned a deaf ear to - the orphan’s cry. It is a sound that will forever haunt me and will continue to call me to action. I do not stand in judgement but hope only to send a wake-up call to those who hear the master’s voice.
UNICEF estimates there to be 135 million children who call the streets of the world their home. Recently I heard that this group of children were the largest unreached people group for the Gospel, what are we doing as Christians to alleviate the problem? Are we sending our twenty to thirty dollars a month to sponsor a child? Are we donating to mission funds? Filling a shoe box? All these things are wonderful and needed efforts to reach out to those children in need, but ultimately it only meets the physical needs of those who God calls “the fatherless.” Millions of children all over the world are waiting and crying out. Some of them not even realizing what they are so desperately lacking, only knowing that something is missing.
If these 135 million children are growing up without having their most basic needs met, they become a shell of a person only surviving, but not living. With no one to nurture their souls or respond to their emotional needs, their hearts are hardened to the world. The emptiness of their life is perpetuated, and the cycle repeats. Following what they have been taught, more and more children face the bleakness and hopelessness of the generations before. What will the world be like when more and more of the hardened souls grow up - should we expect mercy and understanding from them?
We are all made up of three equal parts: physical, spiritual and emotional. What are we doing to help the millions of children worldwide who have no one to hold them and comfort them? What are we doing for those who do not have the love of Jesus lived out for them? How will these children recognize the love of our precious Savior when there has been no love demonstrated to them? My heart aches every time I picture what it would be like to see my child lonely, scared, and in need and no one to see, hear, or even worse.....care.
I am not a Bible scholar nor am I any one of fame or great importance, only a mother whose heart aches for those that have neither father nor mother. I love my children so much that I can’t stand the idea of them hurting, and when I learned that God cares for me like His child, I finally caught a glimpse of the depth, breadth and height of God’s love for me. How often have we looked upon our children at peace in their sleep and felt overwhelmed with love for them? Can you fathom that God loves us even more than that? WOW! It awes me to think that is true!
There are so many verses that address the needs of the children that is hard for me to
comprehend how the church has missed caring for the fatherless as we were commanded
to do. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And
we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (I John 3:16 - 18) This verse speaks so clearly to me - if we have the love of Jesus living in us and we have something and see someone in need and turn our heads and hearts - that is going against what Jesus taught. Denying them is the same as denying the love God gives us . It doesn’t simply mean to feel sorry for the needy and go about our own business, ignoring their need by living our life of comfort. It means SACRIFICING to meet their needs. Likewise Proverbs 3:27 says, “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is within your power to act.” The way I understand this is that if we are able to help someone - we are supposed to, right? The key word would be “able” - not if we “desire” to act.
Then according to these two verses, shouldn’t we be doing more to alleviate the hurt and to fill the void that these children face? I recently read a statistic on Families of Promise’s website that really shocked me, yet encouraged me, “If only 1% of professed Christian families would adopt one child, there would be no more children to adopt here in the United States and over 1 million children world wide would have found a home.” Founder of Family Life, Dennis Rainey says, “I believe that as adopted children in God's family, believers should be the first to reach out to orphaned and abandoned children around the world.” I agree with Mr. Rainey in that believers should be the arms that are reaching, and the light that is shining unto the earth.
Tim Stoner in his article “The Orphan’s Cry” puts it like this, “The answer to the foundational question: what is it these needy ones lack? is given in the very term the scripture uses to describe them: fatherless. This is what they stand in most need of, more than food, clothes and a bed. This term includes both the protection and defense of a father and the nurture and encouragement of a mother. God discharges both tasks on behalf of the orphan.......To all of us as a community of disciples He says: “Take care of the orphan who is ensnared in an oppressive web of injustice with no one to rise up to defend him. Imitate Me and extend the blessing of adoption to these little ones who are enslaved by poverty and despair and embrace them with a father’s blessing and say, today I have chosen you and call you my own.”
Adoption is such a beautiful picture of God’s love for us. We as believers are co-heirs with Christ, adopted by our Heavenly Father. Isn’t it time for the church to hear the cries of the fatherless and take seriously the Biblical mandate of James 1:27, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress ...". My goal is to help Christians reevaluate their families and consider adoption. I do realize that not everyone can adopt - but so many more could who have never really thought about it. I hope to help them remove the barriers such as fear or finances and open up more hearts and homes for the children. Even more people can fulfill the needs by assisting those who are willing to open their hearts, praying and advocating for those who, by no fault of their own, have no one.
Children are one of our greatest blessings from God, but sadly society has taught us children are a burden and not to be valued. Large families are subject to ridicule, not held in esteem as the Bible suggests. In ancient Roman times children were sacrificed to the gods for prosperity. Aren’t we doing much the same today? Having fewer children so we can live a more comfortable lifestyle? On a talk show by the late Larry Burkett a caller shared about wanting to expand her family but her husband was concerned over finances. Larry replied that we should NEVER limit our family size to our finances because in doing that we are not trusting God to provide. How many people live their lives limited by a God too small to meet their needs? Sadly, a quote I found by Doug Phillips sums it up so eloquently, “The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing. But in our culture, we apply for the curse and reject the blessings. Something is wrong with this picture.”
On the other side of the spectrum, Michelle Gardner of Kingdom Kids Adoption Ministries shares that today we have a generation of IDOL kids (no, I didn’t mean idle). Children rule our lives and we cater to their schedules, whims, and desires - struggling to meet their every wish even at the expense of what God has purposed us to do. Doesn’t that sound like many of the families that we all know, or could it reflect your family? Do we teach our children that God comes first, or do we teach them that soccer, dance or what ever they would want to do comes first and that God will understand?
People were shocked when we announced that we were adopting a child. We had three beautiful healthy biological children. Family, friends and people that we would meet could not reason why we would even consider adopting. We received questions like, “Why would you do that to your own kids?”, “How could you spend that kind of money?”, “How are you going to send your kids to college?”,“Where did you get an idea like that?”, and “What will you know about them, aren’t you worried?”. Unfortunately people look to their own reasoning in these matters and not to the heart of God. You can imagine what they thought when we announced that once again we were adopting two children - bringing our total up to 6 children!
God knows the name of every child who waits without a family. He sees their every tear. He is the father to the fatherless. Do you think that He is concerned about your finances, your children’s college fund or how YOU are going to be able to do something? No - the Bible tells us that we can do all things through Christ and that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Do you think that if we present our needs to our Heavenly Father, that He will have to check His budget to see if He can squeeze us in? No, there is nothing too big for God. In Isaiah 58, God asks us if this is not the fast He called us to - to spend ourselves on behalf of the oppressed, the hungry and those who are in need? He tells us that if we do our light will break forth like the dawn and the glory of the Lord will be our rear guard. That when we cry out to Him in help He will say “HERE I AM.”
He took a shepherd boy and made him king, a group of misfits and fishermen and made them the heroes of our faith. All God asks for is a willing heart. It isn’t YOUR ability but HIS. He uses the simple to confound the wise. The questions are: Are you willing? Can you really trust God? Can you believe God? Are you willing to trust and believe?
In Matthew 25:34-36, Jesus said, “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' On the day of judgement how will you answer Jesus when he asks, “Where were you? For whatever you did (or did not do) unto the least of these....You did unto me.”
There is so much to share about adoption and what the Bible has to say about it - I am not sure where to begin! I pray that as you read my ramblings that God will stir your heart and that you will join me in advocating for the fatherless. When I first felt called to adoption ministry, I felt that if more Christian families knew how great the need was, and if someone was willing to hold their hand during the process - that more Christians would step out in faith and answer the cry of the orphan.
Here is an article I wrote that sums it all up:
The Unheard Cries by Lydia Tarr
“Innocent eyes filled with fear, arms aching to be holding on, hands reaching out but no one is there, how long, how long must this go on? Listen can you hear their falling tears, Can you feel their pain? Does your heart reach out to them, or do you turn away? Precious lives tossed aside, they don’t fit in our perfect lives, Innocent ones don’t understand why, their innocence just slips on by.” Rachel’s Children written by Joy McClain.
As I begin, I fervently pray that I can help people to hear the cries of the waiting children all over the world. My heart’s desire is to open the ears of the church to something that we have turned a deaf ear to - the orphan’s cry. It is a sound that will forever haunt me and will continue to call me to action. I do not stand in judgement but hope only to send a wake-up call to those who hear the master’s voice.
UNICEF estimates there to be 135 million children who call the streets of the world their home. Recently I heard that this group of children were the largest unreached people group for the Gospel, what are we doing as Christians to alleviate the problem? Are we sending our twenty to thirty dollars a month to sponsor a child? Are we donating to mission funds? Filling a shoe box? All these things are wonderful and needed efforts to reach out to those children in need, but ultimately it only meets the physical needs of those who God calls “the fatherless.” Millions of children all over the world are waiting and crying out. Some of them not even realizing what they are so desperately lacking, only knowing that something is missing.
If these 135 million children are growing up without having their most basic needs met, they become a shell of a person only surviving, but not living. With no one to nurture their souls or respond to their emotional needs, their hearts are hardened to the world. The emptiness of their life is perpetuated, and the cycle repeats. Following what they have been taught, more and more children face the bleakness and hopelessness of the generations before. What will the world be like when more and more of the hardened souls grow up - should we expect mercy and understanding from them?
We are all made up of three equal parts: physical, spiritual and emotional. What are we doing to help the millions of children worldwide who have no one to hold them and comfort them? What are we doing for those who do not have the love of Jesus lived out for them? How will these children recognize the love of our precious Savior when there has been no love demonstrated to them? My heart aches every time I picture what it would be like to see my child lonely, scared, and in need and no one to see, hear, or even worse.....care.
I am not a Bible scholar nor am I any one of fame or great importance, only a mother whose heart aches for those that have neither father nor mother. I love my children so much that I can’t stand the idea of them hurting, and when I learned that God cares for me like His child, I finally caught a glimpse of the depth, breadth and height of God’s love for me. How often have we looked upon our children at peace in their sleep and felt overwhelmed with love for them? Can you fathom that God loves us even more than that? WOW! It awes me to think that is true!
There are so many verses that address the needs of the children that is hard for me to
comprehend how the church has missed caring for the fatherless as we were commanded
to do. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And
we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (I John 3:16 - 18) This verse speaks so clearly to me - if we have the love of Jesus living in us and we have something and see someone in need and turn our heads and hearts - that is going against what Jesus taught. Denying them is the same as denying the love God gives us . It doesn’t simply mean to feel sorry for the needy and go about our own business, ignoring their need by living our life of comfort. It means SACRIFICING to meet their needs. Likewise Proverbs 3:27 says, “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is within your power to act.” The way I understand this is that if we are able to help someone - we are supposed to, right? The key word would be “able” - not if we “desire” to act.
Then according to these two verses, shouldn’t we be doing more to alleviate the hurt and to fill the void that these children face? I recently read a statistic on Families of Promise’s website that really shocked me, yet encouraged me, “If only 1% of professed Christian families would adopt one child, there would be no more children to adopt here in the United States and over 1 million children world wide would have found a home.” Founder of Family Life, Dennis Rainey says, “I believe that as adopted children in God's family, believers should be the first to reach out to orphaned and abandoned children around the world.” I agree with Mr. Rainey in that believers should be the arms that are reaching, and the light that is shining unto the earth.
Tim Stoner in his article “The Orphan’s Cry” puts it like this, “The answer to the foundational question: what is it these needy ones lack? is given in the very term the scripture uses to describe them: fatherless. This is what they stand in most need of, more than food, clothes and a bed. This term includes both the protection and defense of a father and the nurture and encouragement of a mother. God discharges both tasks on behalf of the orphan.......To all of us as a community of disciples He says: “Take care of the orphan who is ensnared in an oppressive web of injustice with no one to rise up to defend him. Imitate Me and extend the blessing of adoption to these little ones who are enslaved by poverty and despair and embrace them with a father’s blessing and say, today I have chosen you and call you my own.”
Adoption is such a beautiful picture of God’s love for us. We as believers are co-heirs with Christ, adopted by our Heavenly Father. Isn’t it time for the church to hear the cries of the fatherless and take seriously the Biblical mandate of James 1:27, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress ...". My goal is to help Christians reevaluate their families and consider adoption. I do realize that not everyone can adopt - but so many more could who have never really thought about it. I hope to help them remove the barriers such as fear or finances and open up more hearts and homes for the children. Even more people can fulfill the needs by assisting those who are willing to open their hearts, praying and advocating for those who, by no fault of their own, have no one.
Children are one of our greatest blessings from God, but sadly society has taught us children are a burden and not to be valued. Large families are subject to ridicule, not held in esteem as the Bible suggests. In ancient Roman times children were sacrificed to the gods for prosperity. Aren’t we doing much the same today? Having fewer children so we can live a more comfortable lifestyle? On a talk show by the late Larry Burkett a caller shared about wanting to expand her family but her husband was concerned over finances. Larry replied that we should NEVER limit our family size to our finances because in doing that we are not trusting God to provide. How many people live their lives limited by a God too small to meet their needs? Sadly, a quote I found by Doug Phillips sums it up so eloquently, “The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing. But in our culture, we apply for the curse and reject the blessings. Something is wrong with this picture.”
On the other side of the spectrum, Michelle Gardner of Kingdom Kids Adoption Ministries shares that today we have a generation of IDOL kids (no, I didn’t mean idle). Children rule our lives and we cater to their schedules, whims, and desires - struggling to meet their every wish even at the expense of what God has purposed us to do. Doesn’t that sound like many of the families that we all know, or could it reflect your family? Do we teach our children that God comes first, or do we teach them that soccer, dance or what ever they would want to do comes first and that God will understand?
People were shocked when we announced that we were adopting a child. We had three beautiful healthy biological children. Family, friends and people that we would meet could not reason why we would even consider adopting. We received questions like, “Why would you do that to your own kids?”, “How could you spend that kind of money?”, “How are you going to send your kids to college?”,“Where did you get an idea like that?”, and “What will you know about them, aren’t you worried?”. Unfortunately people look to their own reasoning in these matters and not to the heart of God. You can imagine what they thought when we announced that once again we were adopting two children - bringing our total up to 6 children!
God knows the name of every child who waits without a family. He sees their every tear. He is the father to the fatherless. Do you think that He is concerned about your finances, your children’s college fund or how YOU are going to be able to do something? No - the Bible tells us that we can do all things through Christ and that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Do you think that if we present our needs to our Heavenly Father, that He will have to check His budget to see if He can squeeze us in? No, there is nothing too big for God. In Isaiah 58, God asks us if this is not the fast He called us to - to spend ourselves on behalf of the oppressed, the hungry and those who are in need? He tells us that if we do our light will break forth like the dawn and the glory of the Lord will be our rear guard. That when we cry out to Him in help He will say “HERE I AM.”
He took a shepherd boy and made him king, a group of misfits and fishermen and made them the heroes of our faith. All God asks for is a willing heart. It isn’t YOUR ability but HIS. He uses the simple to confound the wise. The questions are: Are you willing? Can you really trust God? Can you believe God? Are you willing to trust and believe?
In Matthew 25:34-36, Jesus said, “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' On the day of judgement how will you answer Jesus when he asks, “Where were you? For whatever you did (or did not do) unto the least of these....You did unto me.”
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